What do I tell my psychologist? Am I Delusional? Help!

I'm going to try to keep this brief. I don't think anyone will help me but I desperately need your help.

I have begun going to a therapist for self harm, anxiety, depression, and hallucinations. There's more but it's all she knows about. For the psychotic symptoms, she is sending me to a psychologist on the 2nd.

(scroll to the bottom for like... an index? This got very wordy but I need your help.) These look like blocks of text but they're lists. I'm sorry this is so illegible. Please help me.

1. The thing is, I don't know if I'm delusional. I've never mentioned this to my therapist but I believe I may have persucutory delusions. Do you think they are delusions, or do you think it's something else? Some brief examples... I always view anything done socially as a "sign" pointing to these types of feelings being true? Yet I don't know if I believe them, but at the same time, I don't feel like they're irrational entirely.
-I think that everyone hates me, but separately. Each individual person feels like, "Oh, I guess it's just me", so they don't hurt me. The catch is that everyone feels like this and they don't hurt me to keep up their appearances. The reason I'm still alive is because they don't know that everyone shares their feelings.
-The doctors I have gone to misdiagnosed me with malnutrition so I would have to eat more, so I would get fatter and kill myself.
-If someone offers to buy me something, it is because the thought of being emotionally kind to me to keep me believing they don't want me dead is too disgusting to them, so instead they try to buy something and view it as an investment, to keep me believing.
-If someone leaves food out, it is because I have a SEVERE phobia of maggots, and they want me to see them so that I remember that I am not allowed to eat because I am fat, and I will kill myself.

---Possibly unrelated but I go into these daydreams where family members are hurting me and it can last a very, very long time, and when I am experiencing this daydream, I can feel the impact of them hitting me. Other times it is them breaking my bones and leaving me to die without a way to call for help, and I start dying of thirst because I can't move. (keep in mind, I have no history of physical abuse.)

2. I have suicidal thoughts every day and I go into these daydreams where I am mutilating myself in impossible ways and it makes me feel really good, but strange? A specific one is of me taking out a specific part of my brain on the left side, and I can feel it when I think about it. It feels like the sensation of removing a segment from a pomegranate. I have other ones of opening my neck or punching holes in it with a hole puncher to feel the cold air in my neck, etc... my psychologist doesn't know about this, and when she asked if I was suicidal or violent, I said no to both because I don't want to be hospitalized. Are these feelings symptoms of any one psychotic disorder? Would not mentioning them mess up the diagnostic process? I don't want to be hospitalized.. but I don't want to mislead doctors either because that just seems like a really awful thing to do...! They are both only thoughts and I have no intention of committing suicide, and it is obviously very impossible for me to act out these self-mutilating fantasies, so I am not a danger to myself or anyone else, but I am worried they might interpret it as that. Should I tell them? Is this important information? I don't want to get hospitalized.. I really, really don't!!

3. My therapist only knows I have hallucinations, out of everything in this entire post. That I "could count them all on both my hands" because they are uncommon. While it is true that the ones that made me afraid of certain parts of my house, or the ones I think about every day are probably around.. 9? in number, I see movement out of the corner of my eye, or objects shifting strangely multiple times a day. I dismiss them all but I have no way to know how many are actually hallucinations. I don't want to downplay them but at the same time, I feel like I'm just making stuff up if I complain about the minimal ones that just last for a second, but when my therapist was dismissive of them because there were "so few", it worried me that I wasn't communicating properly.

4. There's symptoms I haven't mentioned that I don't know whether or not they're important. I have a lot of trouble speaking about them so I haven't brought them up...
-There is talking in my head sometimes. Not an auditory hallucination, but it registers as a thought that isn't in my own voice. Sometimes it is garbled gibberish, sometimes it is the voice of someone I know, sometimes it is just a sound of something I've heard throughout the day like a cash register.
-I feel very disconnected from my body at times like looking through a screen, or my movements feel very rigid and unsteady. Time doesn't seem to pass consistently, or my memories are jumbled up.
-I question whether things really happened. If I sneezed, I would think to myself, "The reverberation wasn't right on that. I think I thought I sneezed when I really didn't. I imagined it." This is a very common symptom of mine but I don't know what to call it.
- I plan conversations endlessly with people I know in real life, such as my sister, mother, my friend, and a generic therapist and doctor. I used to do this because I was afraid of people finding out I was cutting, but now I just find myself mid-conversation with someone in my head for no reason, talking about anything. It's like I have anyone I want on speed dial, in my head, and I don't even notice when I'm talking to them. Sometimes if I'm alone, I will get so into it that I will make conversational gestures to go along with what I am saying to them.

Summary:
1. I don't know if I'm delusional and I don't know if I should bring it up.
2. I am violent towards myself and I have suicidal thoughts but I don't want to be hospitalized, so I don't tell. Is this important information or can I keep it a secret?
3. I downplay how often I have hallucinations and my therapist is dismissive of it and it makes me feel awful, but at the same time, I don't even know if I'm downplaying it. I'm so confused.
4. there's a few other symptoms I don't know how to talk about.

I cannot tell you how many times I have questioned my sanity or kept things to myself to keep others from questioning it. If you want a legitimate diagnosis, don't hold back anything when you tell your psychologist your symptoms or you will receive an incorrect diagnosis. I have gone through a lot of treatment and sometimes I am still uncertain of my diagnosis and there have been some people close to me that have exploited my illness for their benefit.