watchers

this is my first time posting here. it is 5AM and i can't sleep. i'll try to keep it short.

i've felt like i'm being watched constantly for as long as i can remember. the ones watching have changed slightly over the years; at one point i thought it was the government, other times i feel like i'm the guinea pig being observed in a lab experiment.
sometimes these feelings make me so anxious that i "black out" for lack of a better term - i just sort of lose control of my brain and i'm still awake but i'm not really "here." my vision either remains completely black or i'm mentally placed into these terrifying situations, regardless i always end up with this intense pressure feeling from inside my head. i often perceive this as these entities trying to force their way out.

this paranoid feeling has grown more severe lately. the reason why i can't sleep now is because, again, i feel like i'm being watched and i have this apprehension that something bad will happen to me if i sleep. i'm a little scared to tell anyone or do research about how i feel because i feel like i'll make the watchers angry and they'll do something more drastic than just watching. this is something i deal with all the time with various actions and situations.

does anyone else feel like this too, and if so how do you cope?

Im sorry youre experiencing this. I suggest you see a psych, it may be real helpful and with the right meds and diagnosis the watchers will go away. I know its tough but things might get worse with time if you dont get help.