Good delusions???

I can't seem to find anything about this online. All I seem to read about is people having horrible delusions (or hallucinations) that cause extreme anxiety and that they find relief with antipsychotics when their psychotic symptoms get under control.

So what happens if your delusions were good and now that you're taking antipsychotics and you can see what's real, you're miserable all the time?

I created a "world" in my head, complete with a best friend/lover who was with me always and completely loved me. I confused this "person" with a real person I know. I wont go into details but it got really messed up. Yes, it caused me anxiety, and no, I do not want to live in a fantasy/fake world for the rest of my life; that being said, once I started taking antipsychotics and realized that my "world" was fake, it was like a smack in the face. Now I'm alone. I have no real relationships and it's making me seriously depressed.

Has anyone ever been through this? This, coming back to reality and feeling like you've been run over by a mac truck? Does it ever get better? All I want now is to stop my meds so I can go back to my "world" where I wasn't alone. I've been living in la-la land for so many years that I can't even feel anything for real people anymore. Can anyone reassure me that reality doesn't suck?

Hi,
I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling good. I've been through what you describe. I recommend trying to build real relationships with people in your life, and growing your support network. Through connecting to real people, in time, it gets better. It did for me. I mean, it isn't perfect, but it is good. People will love you in time if you build relationships through kindness, compassion, empathy, listening, talking, and just being there for others. Try joining a meetup. I know you probably don't feel like making plans, but when I'm down because reality isn't as fabulous as delusions, I cook chili and corn bread and start reaching out to everyone I know and trying to build a life that I want. I've built some beautiful real relationships with friends and mentors. In time, I think you'll do better. You can keep delusional hope alive as long as it is protective, and you don't act on it. For instance I had hope for a physician's love, ( occasionally it haunts me... but in time it passes). But, for the most part I'm content to live in the present life I've created. The love of friends and family and other connections sustain me. I hope you are able to transform your reality into someplace you want to live.
Sunny

Vegetable chili recipe:
1-2 tbsp olive oil
2 onions diced/chopped
4 cloves garlic diced/or whole
2 peppers (green, red, orange, or spicy) chopped
giant can of crushed tomatoes
average size can of diced tomatoes
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp chili powder
2 average cans of your favorite two beans (kidney, black, pinto, chick peas, white, cannolini)

Slowly drizzle oil in the pan and caramelize onions over low heat for 15 min, then add garlic and chopped up peppers, when softened about 5-10 min add crushed tomatoes and diced canned tomatoes. With the liquid from the tomatoes add the cumin and chili powder. Simmer for 30 minutes. Drain beans of your choice in the sink. Rinse the beans. Then put them in the chili from the strainer. Simmer for 15 minutes.

Enjoy a nutritious meal, and think of healing. Corn bread is a nice addition.

Sunny

I'm going through the same thing... it's amazing how much more bleak life seems when you're trying to rewrite delusions of affection into reality. I try to focus on building relationships on their own merits(as in, not the delusional merits). I haven't got a lot of opportunity for that at the moment but I have plans to allow me opportunities in the future. When I have delusions I try firmly telling my brain, "no. Normal person. We don't know eachother well." It's a new tactic though so I don't know if it works, but it makes me feel better, and I think it helps my brain adjust. A full night's sleep is also very helpful. Meetups sound like a great idea for building real life affection. Do you have any relatives or old friends you could talk to as well? Good luck with everything.

Wow. Delusions of Affection. That's me. I have a group of friends in my head and they have been feeding my need for friendship - but not doing such a great job because the people I make up are not real. I've joined 'Meetup' and have tentatively begun making friends. I'm well liked but don't go to all the events because I am still making time for my imaginary friends.

That's not a good thing.

On the bright side - I am starting to force myself to go out more and I do have a great time when I am with other people. It is almost scary to replace my imaginary friends with real ones but much more satisfying.

So.... could our issues be 'imaginary friends' from childhood that have never left us? I don't know. I just want to leave the fake world I have created for myself and replace it with real people. Hopefully I will be successful - and so will you.

Kate2015

Hi lejuste, I recently got diagnosed with psychosis.

I never had a personal relationship with my hallucinations. Though that sounds heartbreaking and I'm sorry you had to go through that kind of build up and loss.
I have mainly visual hallucinations, and was prescribed seroquel and then risperdal. The trouble is, the meds made it really hard for me to think and write. Or find anything beautiful. Although they did get me through a time in my life where I just needed to be safe.

Though we clearly have different experiences, I think I know where you're at. Most of my hallucinations are stunning. Although they make it kind of hard to operate. Especially when they're occasionally terrifying, I used to see shadowy figures following me. But the beautiful ones... I remember stepping into subway cars drawn in firefly trails. And trees that looked like they were growing in front of me. One time I was sitting on a wall at my friends' house and I saw one of their neighbor's dogs. It looked straight at me and suddenly, every thing around the dog just turned white. It was like all I could see was this one dog's face looking back at me. And it felt like we were somehow communicating. Maybe that doesn't sound super positive, but it was crazy experience. And sometimes you want something spectacular in you're life. Its a struggle I'm dealing with too. Let us know how its going!

I do not have long term, persistent delusions. I was diagnosed with an acute psychotic episode this time last year. Since then, my life has turned completely upside down and I have no idea where to go or who to talk to. But, in the year that I was taking olanzapine and fluoxetine, I was finally able to pull myself back into reality. I also had some "Good" delusions that, in the end, turned out to be rather scary.

I was kind of erotomanic and believed people I didn't even know wanted to sleep with me. I mostly had this belief toward the clients I worked for as a landscaper. But, the biggest delusion I suffered from was a grandiosity delusions. Apparently it's rather common, but I actually believed that I was destined for greatness and game-changing accomplishments to the point where I thought that I was either the second coming of Jesus or the true reincarnation of Buddha. I remember it kind of started when I was discussing business plans with my marijuana dealer (marijuana is legal where I live). I told him about this idea that even to this day I think is a good idea. But then he came around and tried to get into business with me and proposed this idea that was similar to what happened to the McDonald's brothers. I felt great about it at first. I thought "Wow! Someone is so impressed by my business idea that they're willing to try and ###$ me over for it!" But then it just turned into a darkening paranoia that left me shut inside my house. That's the same way that my delusion about being Jesus evolved. At first, I felt like I had such amazing thoughts and ideas that could have only been "divinely inspired" that everyone wanted to hear and learn from; but that quickly turned into this fear that we were living in a new Roman empire and there was some unknown entity that was going to try and torture and murder me.

Now, a year later, I almost wish that I could just live back in the good moments of those delusions. I wish I could live with the confidence of knowing I was wanted by the pretty ladies. I wish I could live with the peace and satisfaction of being a wise man, or the triumph of being a tenacious business entrepreneur.

Now, I just live in a reality where I am honest-to-God nobody. I hardly show my face to the public and even my friends. It's rather lonely. I wish I could go back to the good moments where I just loved myself and everything I did... it's too bad that even the doctors told me that that was probably a delusional sort of love.

I used to believe that a girl i know was secretly getting others to call me, and that she was listening to what I told them. Im still partly in this illusionary world, in the sense that I dream about relationships with people I hardly know or could get in contact with. I dont know why it started but its the core of my "scizophrenic" delusions. Everything springs from that. The real world is to be preferred because its safer.

I have good delusions yea (I see pets - a friend convinced me tho that she couldn t see any of them so in the end I realised I did and just didn t need to walk or feed any of em)

I liked the company (not the same as a relationship I know) but it was great fun to see them play and pet them -

eitherway - now the meds are adjusted they are gone obviously, only sometimes I spot the puppy still

I m housebound and low on friends and family - so is it lonely? yea. Do I miss the Guinea pigs and the pet snake? yea I do.

Does it get better?

I miss them, and that s okay. I can t replace their company with real pets as I can t take care of any pet really -
and I miss that, having pets - yes - and sometimes I wonder to just get them back one way or the other-

since I can t replace - I just take care of myself and every need I have and can take care of -
as in - if I m sad - I let myself be sad and do something or just be -
if I m frustrated - that s okay - I play loud music or make drawings-
etc.
I don t focus on gettin a new pet - when I think about them or miss them I let myself grief-
if I m not thinkin of them - I jsut focus on my needs at that point if that makes any sense?

Best of luck

Hi, I have had good delusions too, mine lasted for a year. I was so high on believing I was the second coming of Christ and that I was sleeping with a very important person. I thought I was the funniest person on the planet and that my jokes were being heard in high places. I was totally happy under this delusion, everything felt so right in the world. Like you, when I came back to reality it was just like a kick in the stomach. I felt ill, couldn't get out of bed, didn't want to live in reality and tried to sleep all the time. I have now gotten used to my reality and am actually quite glad I am not surrounded by bodyguards 24/7 (as I thought I was). My only regret is that I miss sleeping with my VIP (who I thought my husband was during this time). All extremely strange I know! But hey, that's delusions for you. So yes, reality can hurt, a lot and also be very, very lonely. You go from thinking you are the centre of everyone's universe to just being in the centre of the universe alone. The only thing I can suggest is time, time to get used to things in the real world, time to heal, time to process what happened to you. I wish you well.