I strongly suspect my brother has delusional disorder, the somatic kind. My niece is a little girl who is loved and supported but also subject to his control regarding daily activities like eating, being outside, being too close to electrical outlets while she's playing, having very limited items in her room or types of toys play with (however she has loads of playmobil, which are excellent toys), who she has contact with, staying out of the sun, and washing and changing clothes if they might be contaminated with germs, pathogens, chemicals, or mold. They eat organic and he has diagnosed he and his daughter with a candida/yeast fungus, (or thrush), and unless they stay on a diet with no sugar or flour, he believes the symptoms will overtake them. He lives in fear of illness of any kind, of chemical contamination, and of being irradiated with electromagnetic vibes (?not sure how to describe this best, but it's something that people call electromagnetic sensitivity).
He has everyone shower and change clothes if he is worried about contaminants. He has alienated his sister in law and her family with his vitriolic rants about toxins in lawn spray and was suspicious of them spraying their lawn (they weren't, since they stopped when he first talked to them about it) and he subsequently went into a rage. They have 5 kids and are very kind people but they are all afraid of him now, and angry too. My niece was very close to their kids and I'm sure she misses them a lot.
He is a well-educated, accomplished professional who had a lot of success and who people loved and respected. But he hasn't worked in a while due to being a stay at home parent. I don't think that he'd be able to work right now. He previously had a full, rich life, both socially and personally. He is, as he once said to me, a shadow of his former self.
I'm terribly concerned for him and for my niece. His wife is a very sensible and kind woman who I like very much, but she seems to be in denial, and when I've tried to talk to her about him and to see if we could get help for him, she puts up a wall. They've been together 7 years.
My family has been very worried about him for a long time now, and especially the effect his behavior and beliefs are having on his daughter, who is only 6.
I'm not proud to say that I've yelled and shouted at him, called him crazy, because I thought it might shock him into doing something. I've also been viciously verbally attacked by him when I've challenged him on his beliefs, which makes sense to me now, after reading about delusions. I've seen him be very hard on his little girl too, which absolutely breaks my heart! That is the worst part of all of this.
I've asked him to go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation, because I thought he might have OCD. He has obsessions and compulsions, but they seem to be directly related to his thoughts and beliefs. After reading about delusional disorder, I think it suits him to a T. He has written me long emails about mold, and will have lengthy discussions on pesticides, germs, or diseases. He is a tortured individual. I don't know what to do, but I feel a deep sense of relief after having read things about DD.
My grandfather was very similar. He believed the Ice Age was coming back and moved his family to the coast, to a home right on the ocean. He kept a boat in the garage so he could take his family to safety when the Ice Age came. My mom said that at the Vet's hospital they diagnosed him as a paranoid schizophrenic, but that never made sense to me. Delusional disorder does, very much so, which seems to be under the umbrella of psychotic disorders. He and my brother didn't/don't have the other symptoms of psychosis like thought blocking, hearing voices or seeing things. He was very similar in personality and even physical attributes (thin, wiry, anxious).
My brother is an intelligent and sensitive person and I hope I might be able to stay connected with him and I hope we might be able to get him help, and that his little girl can begin to have a peaceful life!
Any comments are welcome, since this is a new thing for me.
To get help for my brother and his family is now my #1 goal. I am still connected to him, and my husband is too--thank God we have not been alienated. Other mental health issues in our family are that another grandmother was bipolar (lots of suicide attempts and hospitalizations into her 80s, but a very long period of remission from age 52 to 74), and shorter remission periods in her 70s and 80s. Plenty of anxiety, depression, and addictions for others. I'm a recovered alcoholic with C-PTSD and have been 'in remission' for a long time now....my psychiatrist and therapy group saved my life, literally. And meds have been so important for me....20 years ago I started to take them, and the world became color again, not black, white, and gray.
So my brother is obviously aware that MH problems run in our family, and I do think that he may see that psychiatric care is very important. Thank you for reading
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