delusions about my friend

I have an old friend who wants to visit me in a few months. Last year when he wanted to visit I started getting so nervous that I made an excuse to avoid it. I really don't want to have to see him, but I hate to hurt his feelings.

In 2009 I flew to meet him for a weekend. After I arrived home, I had a psychotic episode although I didn't understand that until several years later when I mentioned it to a therapist. The therapist said I experienced psychosis and maybe it was a mild form of delusional disorder.

Due to the psychosis, I don't know the facts for certain. But here are my concerns:
- I gave up drinking and this friend was my drinking buddy
- My friend and I are both males. I'm heterosexual as far as I know. My friend has said and done things that make me suspect he is romantically attracted to me, but when I asked him directly he denied.
- I suspect he might have drugged me in 2009, and I suspect he tried to drug me when I saw him again six months later. I became suspicious and only drank a little bit of the beverage he gave me.

Probably I will find an excuse not to see him, and maybe he will give up on being my friend.

So my question: If this is all in my imagination, maybe it is still not good for me to see a friend that is at the center of a psychotic episode?

Hi Cloudyday,
I hear you. I feel the same way about the people I've had delusions about. If you can trust the person again, then fine, but plan ways to avoid overstimulation. Try not to expose yourself to your triggers too much. I mean, for me, when I feel well, I can handle almost anything. But on days I'm not feeling perfect, I try to keep things as stress free as possible. I have ups and downs with my medication. I don't know if it is what I eat or drink, or whatever, but sometimes I feel more able than other times. What I'm trying to say is listen to your body giving you feedback. If you don't feel well, then tell the friend to stay at another friends place, and that you are recovering, and can't go drinking... etc.

For instance, I have political delusions/issues and recently signed up to volunteer for a campaign. The day I was supposed to volunteer, I just didn't feel well enough to go, so I cancelled. But someday, I hope to be able to go. Maybe if one of my friends wanted to volunteer it would be easier.

Good luck, hope you figure out what makes you feel best.
Sunny

Sunnyg wrote:Hi Cloudyday,
I hear you. I feel the same way about the people I've had delusions about. If you can trust the person again, then fine, but plan ways to avoid overstimulation. Try not to expose yourself to your triggers too much. I mean, for me, when I feel well, I can handle almost anything. But on days I'm not feeling perfect, I try to keep things as stress free as possible. I have ups and downs with my medication. I don't know if it is what I eat or drink, or whatever, but sometimes I feel more able than other times. What I'm trying to say is listen to your body giving you feedback. If you don't feel well, then tell the friend to stay at another friends place, and that you are recovering, and can't go drinking... etc.

For instance, I have political delusions/issues and recently signed up to volunteer for a campaign. The day I was supposed to volunteer, I just didn't feel well enough to go, so I cancelled. But someday, I hope to be able to go. Maybe if one of my friends wanted to volunteer it would be easier.

Good luck, hope you figure out what makes you feel best.
Sunny

Thanks, Sunny.