bipolar disorder?

hello everyone, im new to this forum. So let me first start by saying i've been blind to everything until a few months ago, I thought everything i was experiencing was normal until I went to the doctor about 3 weeks ago. so let my start with telling you that after going to the doctor i do think i am bipolar but if im wrong by all means tell me i am, im just trying to find a solution to my insanity. I get paranoid at night, i believe something is watching me weather its a ghost or what ever it is , i get part paranoid like its going to get me. I get really bad mood swings, one second i could be crying for no reason at least no reason i can think of then within seconds im happy again. I get halucinations before i go to bed i think they are called hynopompic halucinations, as well as i sometimes hear voices before i go to sleep. these symptoms get worse when i am alone. I also get very paranoid about everything. I have really bad anxiety sometimes, everything i think about that is negative is blown out of proportion by my mind i worry about it days on end i worry about it so much that i get obsessed with it. with my hypnopompic hallucinations ive seen spiders crawling on me or beside me, when i was young i seen a meteor shower in my room. i also hear voices before i go to bed sometimes like my name or random voices right in my ear. ive recently went to an orthomolecular doctor to be assessed in general (my mom thought i had hypothyroidism) but he didnt think i did, he put me on lithium orotate, multivitamin and niacinimide plus cod liver oil but he did not give me a diagnosis. Before i went there i thought all my symptoms were normal but now i question it and have done research and have come up with this hypothesis. ive never told anyone this but i see double numbers all the time and i think something is watching over me and communicating with me with double numbers like an angel. i havent ever told my parents this and i havent told my doctor all of this yet either because im afraid of being crazy. what do you guys think? i want to get better i dont want this anymore. lithium has helped with anxiety and the paranoia at night but i still sometimes get really bad mood and frame of mind changes, like tonight i cryed in the bath tub for about an hour and it hurt so much then after that i felt completely fine. i used to use marijuana once a night for six months which helped me alot and took away all of my symptoms but i cant now due to a new job which requires drug testing and since ive stopped it all came back again. i just need to know peoples opionions so i can know what is possibly wrong with me. i want to make it all go away so i can have a normal life

Hello.

First off... Only a doctor can tell you what's wrong with you, if anything. There are several possibilities. Severe mood swings + psychosis could either be bipolar disorder or schizoaffective depending on whether or not the psychosis occurs exclusively with the mood swings or if it's happening all the time. But!

lamybert wrote:I get really bad mood swings, one second i could be crying for no reason at least no reason i can think of then within seconds im happy again.

This might not actually be mood swings at all, but inappropriate affect. (Which is why it's important to be assessed by a professional...)

lamybert wrote: ive never told anyone this but i see double numbers all the time and i think something is watching over me and communicating with me with double numbers like an angel.

I actually have shared this symptom in the past. The symptom is called either ideas of reference or delusions of reference depending on how strongly one holds to the belief. For me, it started off with 3 digits and progressed to the point that I was trying to decipher what God was saying whenever I saw a number. If you hear stories of people who believe there are hidden messages in radio or TV broadcasts directed specifically at them, this is the same thing. It's just a part of psychosis.

Probably a good idea to poke your head in to see a psychiatrist.

Alright thank you for your reply. I'll see if I can go see a psychiatrist. I am going to be having an Mri done on my brain for possible brain damage. Hopefully I can figure this out.