Could you give up?

by **ashc** » Sat May 31, 2014 4:44 am

Could you imagine yourself giving up one day? I just wonder. Does it seem impossible sometimes? I hope not, but I'm just curious how you feel. Do you have any hope left?

This is a very deep question, I love myself and my life. I want to see my daughter grow up and I want to meet my great grandchildren one day. That is my hope for my future, that and the little spark of light that I keep alive with the hope that someday The Physician will love me, I know, totally delusional... but I can't help it. My physical response to thoughts about him are just too much to deny. I've tried. When I get really bad, I have this visualization of him that comforts me. The thought of him comforts me. Just makes me sad to know I'm sick. I guess on my bad days, I can't understand why I had to get sick the way I did. That usually involves tears, but only sadness that I'm sick, not a loss of hope. I trust my insight. Everyone tells me he will never love me, but my gut refuses to let him go. Life is full of love. All too much.

How about you?

by **ashc** » Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:17 am

Sunnyg wrote:This is a very deep question, I love myself and my life. I want to see my daughter grow up and I want to meet my great grandchildren one day. That is my hope for my future, that and the little spark of light that I keep alive with the hope that someday The Physician will love me, I know, totally delusional... but I can't help it. My physical response to thoughts about him are just too much to deny. I've tried. When I get really bad, I have this visualization of him that comforts me. The thought of him comforts me. Just makes me sad to know I'm sick. I guess on my bad days, I can't understand why I had to get sick the way I did. That usually involves tears, but only sadness that I'm sick, not a loss of hope. I trust my insight. Everyone tells me he will never love me, but my gut refuses to let him go. Life is full of love. All too much.

How about you?

That's really good...about you not giving up. I don't want to give up either. I kinda have temporarily, but I didn't mean to. I'm sure it will change soon.

That's interesting about your physician delusion. I'm sure a lot of people go through similar thoughts in therapy. I don't know if your physician is a psychologist , but I'm sure he's helping you in some way. Maybe that's why you're attracted to him .

I used to have weird delusions sometimes. They've gotten better with time though. I think I might still be depressed for whatever reason though. My delusions are all pretty negative. They don't really involve love or positive thinking in the least.

by **mf99k** » Fri Jun 13, 2014 3:44 am

as in let myself die? sometimes I don't like living but I'm way to scared of death to do anything like that

Could you give up?

Could you give up?

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