Paranoia

I'm NOT going to say I'm delusional, but I do need help with paranoia. At one point, I was being followed even harassed, and now I'm pretty paranoid. I don't know how to get over it. I think EVERYONE could be a potential "follower", and it's really difficult to handle. At this point I think I have paranoid personality disorder as well. How can I learn to think normally again without medication? I know I'm not psychotic, so there will be no point in meds. I don't have insurance, so I couldn't seek therapy if I wanted to.

I have issues thinking everything is related to me as well. I think my phone is hacked , and messages are being sent to me.

At one point, I definitely was psychotic, and I was having delusions of persecution. I'm not psychotic anymore though. I understand paranoia is usually triggered by a real event then is exaggerated later, and this has happened to me .

Is there any way to train my mind into thinking people AREN'T following me even if they actually are?

I guess there is no answer...

Paranoia is tough. I recommend getting help. There is no way that I know of to fight this without medication... Go to your nearest emergency department if you have any thoughts involving harm to yourself or to others.

Although, there was a time I used semantics to interpret messages. I gave meaning to each letter in the alphabet, all meanings were safe (related to love and things dear to me). That helped me manage to navigate for a week of serious mental illness before the medication took effect.

That worked well, the thing is, you have to be in control of your interpretation of the "messages" or "signs". By control, you have to tell the people following you or hacking you that you have a language that is the only thing you will respond to. That makes it not so scary to be delusional and psychotic, if you structure your language safely.

Sunny

Sunnyg wrote:Paranoia is tough. I recommend getting help. There is no way that I know of to fight this without medication... Go to your nearest emergency department if you have any thoughts involving harm to yourself or to others.

Although, there was a time I used semantics to interpret messages. I gave meaning to each letter in the alphabet, all meanings were safe (related to love and things dear to me). That helped me manage to navigate for a week of serious mental illness before the medication took effect.

That worked well, the thing is, you have to be in control of your interpretation of the "messages" or "signs". By control, you have to tell the people following you or hacking you that you have a language that is the only thing you will respond to. That makes it not so scary to be delusional and psychotic, if you structure your language safely.

Sunny

Thanks. I think moving might be my only option.

ashc wrote:I'm NOT going to say I'm delusional, but I do need help with paranoia. At one point, I was being followed even harassed, and now I'm pretty paranoid. I don't know how to get over it. I think EVERYONE could be a potential "follower", and it's really difficult to handle. At this point I think I have paranoid personality disorder as well. How can I learn to think normally again without medication? I know I'm not psychotic, so there will be no point in meds. I don't have insurance, so I couldn't seek therapy if I wanted to.

I have issues thinking everything is related to me as well. I think my phone is hacked , and messages are being sent to me.

At one point, I definitely was psychotic, and I was having delusions of persecution. I'm not psychotic anymore though. I understand paranoia is usually triggered by a real event then is exaggerated later, and this has happened to me .

Is there any way to train my mind into thinking people AREN'T following me even if they actually are?

There is a crime called "organized stalking" which police have been slow to help with because it is so difficult to prove any one stalker has committed an actionable offence. The stalkers have been led to believe they are participating in some sort of "enhanced neighbourhood watch."

If you want to test your experiences against information about this crime, you may want to have a quick look at this e-booklet:

http://www.stopos.info

There is a news segment referenced in that booklet by a police lieutenant in California in which the officer confirms this is a real crime and has been around for some time. Recently, in another California city, officials there have promised to take organized stalking complaints seriously and not just hair-trigger "diagnose" complainants as mentally ill.

squirrel1

squirrel1 wrote:

ashc wrote:I'm NOT going to say I'm delusional, but I do need help with paranoia. At one point, I was being followed even harassed, and now I'm pretty paranoid. I don't know how to get over it. I think EVERYONE could be a potential "follower", and it's really difficult to handle. At this point I think I have paranoid personality disorder as well. How can I learn to think normally again without medication? I know I'm not psychotic, so there will be no point in meds. I don't have insurance, so I couldn't seek therapy if I wanted to.

I have issues thinking everything is related to me as well. I think my phone is hacked , and messages are being sent to me.

At one point, I definitely was psychotic, and I was having delusions of persecution. I'm not psychotic anymore though. I understand paranoia is usually triggered by a real event then is exaggerated later, and this has happened to me .

Is there any way to train my mind into thinking people AREN'T following me even if they actually are?

There is a crime called "organized stalking" which police have been slow to help with because it is so difficult to prove any one stalker has committed an actionable offence. The stalkers have been led to believe they are participating in some sort of "enhanced neighbourhood watch."

If you want to test your experiences against information about this crime, you may want to have a quick look at this e-booklet:

http://www.stopos.info

There is a news segment referenced in that booklet by a police lieutenant in California in which the officer confirms this is a real crime and has been around for some time. Recently, in another California city, officials there have promised to take organized stalking complaints seriously and not just hair-trigger "diagnose" complainants as mentally ill.

squirrel1

Thanks . I appreciate it. My neighborhood has no reason to watch me, so I don't buy into that theory. I am thinking it is some kind of research, because I feel like I'm being brainwashed. At one point, I thought it was extremist groups or something...which I despise extremists. Also, I think I'm being programmed somehow. I don't know why though. Research is the only explanation that makes sense to me. Why else would people put so much time and energy and resources into watching me? It's not like I'm a criminal. I'll check out the website. Everyone keeps telling me It's organized stalking, but that is used to deter terrorism and organized crime- both of which don't apply to me.

ashc wrote:

squirrel1 wrote:

ashc wrote:I'm NOT going to say I'm delusional, but I do need help with paranoia. At one point, I was being followed even harassed, and now I'm pretty paranoid. I don't know how to get over it. I think EVERYONE could be a potential "follower", and it's really difficult to handle. At this point I think I have paranoid personality disorder as well. How can I learn to think normally again without medication? I know I'm not psychotic, so there will be no point in meds. I don't have insurance, so I couldn't seek therapy if I wanted to.

I have issues thinking everything is related to me as well. I think my phone is hacked , and messages are being sent to me.

At one point, I definitely was psychotic, and I was having delusions of persecution. I'm not psychotic anymore though. I understand paranoia is usually triggered by a real event then is exaggerated later, and this has happened to me .

Is there any way to train my mind into thinking people AREN'T following me even if they actually are?

There is a crime called "organized stalking" which police have been slow to help with because it is so difficult to prove any one stalker has committed an actionable offence. The stalkers have been led to believe they are participating in some sort of "enhanced neighbourhood watch."

If you want to test your experiences against information about this crime, you may want to have a quick look at this e-booklet:

http://www.stopos.info

There is a news segment referenced in that booklet by a police lieutenant in California in which the officer confirms this is a real crime and has been around for some time. Recently, in another California city, officials there have promised to take organized stalking complaints seriously and not just hair-trigger "diagnose" complainants as mentally ill.

squirrel1

Thanks . I appreciate it. My neighborhood has no reason to watch me, so I don't buy into that theory. I am thinking it is some kind of research, because I feel like I'm being brainwashed. At one point, I thought it was extremist groups or something...which I despise extremists. Also, I think I'm being programmed somehow. I don't know why though. Research is the only explanation that makes sense to me. Why else would people put so much time and energy and resources into watching me? It's not like I'm a criminal. I'll check out the website. Everyone keeps telling me It's organized stalking, but that is used to deter terrorism and organized crime- both of which don't apply to me.

A number of organized stalking targets, myself included, have had large scale lies told about them. For example, the target has a criminal past, is a prostitute, is a drug user, a drug dealer, a rapist, and often, is a child molester. So while you may know you have done nothing wrong, that doesn't mean people with the "neighbourhood watch" mindset haven't been told lies about you.

I've been spit at and called a child molester to my face. This happens to women as well as men.

squirrel1

Yeah. I just can't imagine peoplebeing so dumb. Why would they believe something like that and HOW? I'm at home ALL THE TIME. How could I be a drug dealer, prostitute or pedophile or ANYTHING? I do the same thing everyday and have been for over three years . There is NO reason people could be so dumb to believe that crap.

Sometimes my phone has spit stuff at me like electronic harassment, but it's just insane. I will tell you this. At one point, I THOUGHT I had been a bit too nosey and started digging around in places I shouldn't have. Long story short, I THOUGHT I had ran accross something to do with drug trafficking or sex trafficking, and THAT'S when I started having "delusions" or persecution. Everywhere I went people weren't just following me, but men were looking at me like they wanted to freaking kill me! I ended up in the hospital. It got really bad. Eventually I thought EVERYONE was out to get me. Oh yeah. One time I witnessed street theatre or basic harassment outside the apartment I was living in. All these black guys in pimped out cars were driving by shouting "YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB. YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB."..And I didn't have a job . By the way, I think some of the people I angered were black which I don't have time to tell you why, but even a black police officer "warned" my ex boyfriend (who is also white) that I'm no longer allowed in the part of town my ex boyfriend's business is in. Anyway, I think I snooped around in places I had no business snooping around in and all Hell broke loose.

It just makes me hate everyone now. I'm seriously SO misanthropic. I drink all the time now, and I just hate those people. I can't even do anything about it, because I don't know who all to hate. Therefore, I hate everyone except my family.

ashc wrote:Yeah. I just can't imagine peoplebeing so dumb. Why would they believe something like that and HOW? I'm at home ALL THE TIME. How could I be a drug dealer, prostitute or pedophile or ANYTHING? I do the same thing everyday and have been for over three years . There is NO reason people could be so dumb to believe that crap.

There are several thousand organized stalking targets world wide who keep in touch. There are indeed normal-IQ but common-sense-dumb people who do believe the lies. Could even be they are folks who enjoy the feeling of power, being a member of such a "good" organization, hard to be sure. But one thing is sure, there are a lot of them.

Keep in mind that dictatorships throughout history don't seem to have trouble finding people willing to do horrible things to their fellow human beings.

The good news is that after a couple of decades, a few officials are grudgingly at least acknowledging this is a real crime, and if that one city in California follows through and actually begins to do their sworn and paid jobs, that will set a precedent which can be used elsewhere.

squirrel1

squirrel1 wrote:

ashc wrote:Yeah. I just can't imagine peoplebeing so dumb. Why would they believe something like that and HOW? I'm at home ALL THE TIME. How could I be a drug dealer, prostitute or pedophile or ANYTHING? I do the same thing everyday and have been for over three years . There is NO reason people could be so dumb to believe that crap.

There are several thousand organized stalking targets world wide who keep in touch. There are indeed normal-IQ but common-sense-dumb people who do believe the lies. Could even be they are folks who enjoy the feeling of power, being a member of such a "good" organization, hard to be sure. But one thing is sure, there are a lot of them.

Keep in mind that dictatorships throughout history don't seem to have trouble finding people willing to do horrible things to their fellow human beings.

The good news is that after a couple of decades, a few officials are grudgingly at least acknowledging this is a real crime, and if that one city in California follows through and actually begins to do their sworn and paid jobs, that will set a precedent which can be used elsewhere.

squirrel1

Sometimes I even wonder if people do it for entertainment purposes. Hopefully, that's not the case , but it would be no worse than the other reasons. Sadly, there are some organizations out there with members who don't ask questions. They simply follow orders.

I do my best now to pretend it isn't real even if it is . I mean , I know organized stalking is real, but I try to make myself believe it's not happening to me anymore. I want to live a normal life again, and it's difficult to do so with the thought I'm being stalked.