A little advice on dealing with my friend..

I have a friend I've known my whole life. He's much older than me.. about 20 years older. I've always known he's been a bit delusional but didn't find out the extent of it until recently. I have suffered from delusions in the past so I can recognize what's going on with him. Recently he opened up to me about many things. I had no idea it was this bad.

He usually dates people long distance online. His current one he's being talking to for 2 years. He has visited her about five times. She's married by the way. :/ At first everything was great. I have spoken to her a few times and she was nice enough. He talked about how nice she was and how she wasn't annoying and all that good stuff.

About a month ago he started telling me these unbelievable stories about her. I questioned what he said a bit and he had no answer to most of the things he was accusing her of. It was literally all made up in his head. It relates to her cheating on him with other men from the Internet. The stories he told were so unbelievably far fetched. He would build onto each of his delusions and make it into an even bigger one. Crazy things such as saying she was in another country with another man and that he knew which hotel she was staying at, the times she was leaving the room and what food she ate. He does confront her about it and she proves him wrong and he comes up with more delusions to support the made up evidence in his head. Currently, he's states away spying on her trying to catch her in a lie. I seem to have become the person he tells everything to. I am fine with that but he worries me. I am concerned. He has other medical problems and this stress is NOT healthy for him.

The way I handle it is by listening and trying to get him to see all possibilities of the situation. He doesn't get mad at me ever but he insists the delusions are a fact. I don't agree with him I just sort of say "maybe, we can't be sure". He is 100% sure he's right though. Am I handling this the right way? I don't want to make it worse and I also fear he may be worse if he didn't talk these things out. He does see a therapist occasionally for anxiety. I know he won't seek any help because he thinks he's fine. His family knows how he is somewhat but they really don't care. I don't go spewing his secrets all over the place because he has confided in me. I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing. I care about him greatly!

For my advice, I would say the most important thing is to keep the trust he has with you, Strong. I think you are doing the best you can, and that is all one can ask. I can relate with him on the level of delusions. I had a friend who I trusted and told almost all of my delusions which I believed to be reality, in depth. I think having that strong trust helps not to add to any of the delusions, which looks like you're doing a great job at.

Talking them through it, more letting them talk it out, helps a bunch. Just simply letting those bottled up thoughts can do miracles. Help him to realize where delusional fault may come into place, if and when possible.

..Perhaps, try approaching him, when situation occurs and he is wanting to talk, if he is coming to you seeking help with a situation, then try and help him where fault in his perception has come in, otherwise it might add to the situation/delusion if he is not seeking help. And one more thing, It does help after the delusional state he is in cools down and he is able to see things a little more clearly. (personal experience).

If his "delusional moments" are anything like mine, I would have delusions that only lasted for a few weeks, and then some that still haven't left and I ponder still to this day. After time, he will recognize a pattern of delusions from the smaller ones.

Might I ask, do the delusions seem to getting more intense? For a time, they might. I am learning to cope and overcome mine, and through the grace of God and Jesus, I am becoming stronger and life is becoming much clearer now. However, I would say that he may grow out of these delusions for the most part over a matter time just by having that special friend to talk to and be supported and loved by.

Best of luck,

-Peaceful