A few questions about getting help

So I read this thread yesterday.
cyclothymia/topic68228.html
I had major telescopic reading about myself reading about myself moments. It was overwhelming and I started to cry. I'm not and wasn't feeling down; it just overwhelmed me.

Long story short (and believe me, it's a very long story [and this one isn't so short]):
Cyclothymia fits. Everything I read about it describes me to a T. I guess that was becoming a bit of a cliché. I stopped believing it. I've spent time convinced that I'm overreacting to 'normal' teenage mood swings; I've spent time certain that I need help, usually the downs; I've spent time not certain of anything. I'm 17, male. I'm not gonna go about listing my symptoms, cause since finding this forum and seeing myself everywhere I'm certain that all the doubts I had about cyclothymia being my diagnosis are the same as anyone else's. I actually looked for a forum to voice my doubts and see what you all say, but since I've found it I don't need to. It's given me confidence already.

I've a good friend. He's cyclothymic. We've not talked about his cyclothymia, but when he told me, I shuddered slightly because I'd already read a lot about it, trying to figure out my own problems. I've not known him that long. We're still good friends though. When he told me, so much of his behaviour suddenly made sense. A couple of weeks later, I was at a uni open day. I spent the evening just sobbing in the hotel room. I drafted a message on my iPod to send to him because I thought he could help. I didn't have the courage to sent it. A couple of months after that, during another down, I was talking to him. We weren't even really talking about moods. He suggested that I might be cyclothymic. For someone with first hand experience to say that made me feel like I was on the right track of figuring out what's wrong with me.

So there's some back story. Longer than planned.
I've wanted to go to my GP before. I've not had the confidence to suggest cyclothymia though. Now I think I do. I'm generally able to cope, and the ups even come in handy, as much as it pains me to say it. I don't want it to interfere with my A-levels. That's my fear now. I apply to med school this month. Ups have the potential to make me, downs will most definitely break me. I don't wanna be broken over exams or interviews.

Is my GP the right person to go to?
It is likely that s/he'll refer me to a psychiatrist?
Is it acceptable to open with "I think I'm cyclothymic" or do I tell him/her my symptoms and let the professional do the diagnosing?
Will I have a physical exam and what will it involve?
What information would it be helpful to have to hand?

My actual GP is a woman, but I've only ever seen a man cause it's been quicker to get an appt. That's why I've used "s/he" and "him/her". An unnecessary aside, I know, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.
Annoyingly, the overconfidence of the ups would help me with going the quacks, but when I'm up I don't feel the need. "How can an illness make me feel so good?"

I'm feeling happy that I might be near to getting myself help. There's a feeling of unease, too, but I think that's just nerves.

Now I really need a shower. Sleeping in clothes on settees in other peoples' houses makes for one dirty teenager. I'm something of a social moth lately. Then I'll get some apple pie. My grandma made it. It's some pretty good stuff. I'm down to the last slice though.
Bye from this forum noob
Hope you guys can help me with my questions

In a bizzle

Wow, I was surprised to find my thread from a few months go linked in your message. I'm glad it's helping you get things figured out. Nobody ever would think all the good symptoms indicate a problem. Nobody goes to the doctor saying, "Well, doc, I'm getting lots of work done, coming up with great ideas, and enjoying everything. Can you fix that?"

"I think I'm cyclothymic," is exactly how I started two conversations on the road to getting help. The first was to my workplace employee assistance program. The second was with the counselor the EAP referred me to. Actually, the counselor may have started the conversation, "So, what brings you here?" Then the answer was, "I think I'm cyclothymic."

I hadn't had a physical in about 25 years, so I really needed to get that done. The counselor said to tell the doctor about the cyclothymia suspicion and some blood tests would be done. Thyroid stimulating hormone and other things they checked for were normal. The counselor said most of the time if it's a medical issue it can be treated quickly. My mom took pills for her thyroid as far back as I can remember, so the possibility that I inherited that kind of trouble was reasonable to reckon with. But thyroid issues were ruled out and so the counselor and I went over some things. Ultimately, he agreed cyclothymia is the likely explanation for what I go through.

It's possible my mom was actually taking medicine for something else. Those kinds of things aren't talked about in my family. But I did ask another relative about mental illnesses running in the family and she told me about her mom (my aunt) and another cousin of ours who have bipolar. Holy crap, the stars were aligning. You'll find in some other threads how I still have times when I just can't believe I could have cyclothymia. Never mind that a counselor who knows more about these things than I do agrees with it and when I think about it as objectively as I can it makes so damn much sense.

Now, I don't have serious problems and I have developed coping mechanisms before I knew what they were. Past spending sprees led me to put anything I didn't already budget and plan for on a ten day hold. And lots of times, I ended up not buying something I didn't really want or need because of that. I do still sometimes buy things I intend to use and end up forgetting about the project.

You're right to be concerned about whether this could make things hard for you. You're also very lucky to find out at 17. You have a good chance of preventing it from ruining your life with most of your life still ahead. There are people with full blown bipolar who don't find out until they're many years older and are at their lowest looking back on failed marriages, ruined friendships, messed up careers, etc. You are on the right track figuring out what to do about it with a conversation with a doctor.

Things to do and prepare for:
- If an insurance company will pay for mental health help, working within the framework of what the policy covers would save money. If for any reason you think it won't get you the best help, you'll need to understand the limitations and/or pay for the better help yourself.
- Starting with the general practitioner (family doctor, physician, or whatever you call him/her) can help you get the right referral, especially for insurance coverage purposes.
- Expect to fast for probably 12 hours before giving some blood for a hormone test.
- What's next will depend on the test results and whatever other observations the doctor makes. Be open to the possibility that you have something else. But that doesn't mean you should let the doctor figure out the whole thing. Say you suspect you're cyclothymic and explain why. Have a few stories to tell about how it's affected you. A psychiatrist or therapist or whatever will ask questions to try to weigh other possibilities. It's perfectly fine to ask if it could be something else and what the reason is to back that conclusion. Likewise, it's fine to ask what rules something out.

I'm glad you posted here. Keep working up your own courage. Your whole adult life is ahead of you. You can't change out all the cards you get dealt in life, but you can learn better ways of playing them. The sooner the better.

P.S. Look through the posts by CrackedGirl. She's trying to work in the medical profession while dealing with bipolar and may be able to advise you on some things.

Hi Chuckilas!
Welcome to this forum!! Dark in the Light gave you such spot on feedback and insights, I thought! It was cool that you found his thread from months ago! I read that and thought, woah! many a hypomanic night played out to a tee for me, too!... any cleaning fits anyone? to the point of being so anal that you get obessesive and won't stop until it's done because that perfectionist part inside of you, that can be a gift and a curse, is raging? seems like you can have a strange clean freak streak inside you THEN you can lose total interest in it and let your house go for weeks because, staying organized and detailed is a struggle, and it looks like you never touched it for months... perhaps a huge generalization... and many of you may say, "that's not me at all!" and the fact that I have a 5 and 8 year old boy may be a huge factor hee hee!! but... the symptoms bubble up and we start to recognize and it clicks...this is me! or is this me??... and here you are with a valid question: to med or not to med at the particular juncture you're at in your college career... Cracked Girl, and Koshka69 are both walking your journey and would have the answers you seek! Cracked girl is a moderator and invites personal messages... I'll PM Koshka and ask her to check out this thread asap... btw all of us... what we all perceive as "problems" can really bring on the rain, doom and gloom... don't forget Chuckilas, we have gifts! we have talents! We are extremely passionate and passionately extreme!!!! The "mental illness" doesn't define you! You are blessed to discover at 17 and be diagnosed at such a young age! You will be able to manage your symptoms, lead a balanced life on medication and lead a wonderful life and achieve to your fullest potential!! No limitations!!

How are things going, chuciklas?

Ahhhhh.... I have found the thread that F&R mentioned!!!

Well, I'm a bit pooped atm, so brain's not properly functioning at this hour. I'll read this thread with a fresh brain with my morning java and chime in.

F&R- did glimpse part of your posting about cleaning..... O-M-G.... have you ever cleaned an air-intake vent's louvres with 409 and Q-tips? Yes, my cleaning insanity has reached THAT level at times! I chuckled when I saw the ref to obsessive cleaning then the "let it go to hell" cuz you can't keep it perfect....LOL

Chuciklas,
Now that me ol' brain is recharged, I read your posting. First, I'm really glad that coming here gave you comfort and some insight as to the world of Cyclothymia!

Second, I'll hit your questions...

chuciklas wrote:Is my GP the right person to go to?
It is likely that s/he'll refer me to a psychiatrist?
Is it acceptable to open with "I think I'm cyclothymic" or do I tell him/her my symptoms and let the professional do the diagnosing?
Will I have a physical exam and what will it involve?
What information would it be helpful to have to hand?

1) Your GP would be the right place to start if you have never addressed mental health issues with the medical community before. Regardless of your country, the GP should be the starting point and he/she can get the ball moving and make necessary referrals or provide you with information on what to do next.

2) In the US, when you see your GP for that first visit and indicate that you're having MH issues, they will usually run some medical tests to check hormone levels or other medical issues that may be causing the problem and impacting your mood, and then, yes, usually will make a referral to a psychiatrist.

3) Let the professional do the diagnosing. It's absolutely fine to have done a little research and have some ideas on your own as to what the problem may be, but the professionals are trained to precisely diagnose the problems. The danger in saying "I think it may be yadda yadda" is that some docs will get defensive and snotty that you think you're as trained as they are (so they'll subconsciously set about to disprove your assertion), or by mentioning Cyclo you will be inadvertantly planting an idea in their head that could result in them looking to hard for that and missing some things that may indicate some other condition. So, my policy with all research I do on my own (symptoms, meds, dx, etc) is to keep my yap shut on what I think and give them the straight-up facts only.... I try to be as clear as possible about my symptoms and let them go from there.

4) There will likely be a physical exam involved when you go to the GP. Reason being, they're going to try to rule out any medical causes of whatever may be going on. Every exam is unique... it'll be tailored to whatever symptoms you tell the GP you have.

5) Information to have... probably the best advice I could give you or anyone trying to figure out what's going on in the bod and brain is to be sure to be as specific, descriptive, and factual about any physical symptoms you are having (ie- fatigue, restlessness, insomnia, sweating, etc). The more vague you are (ie- "doc, I am depressed, what's going on?") the more time and effort it will take to figure out the problem. All MH issues exhibit physical symptoms and this is why you start with the GP, they run a buncha tests to see if it's a case of MH issues causing symptoms or symptoms being actually caused by a medical condition. So what I would recommend is sitting down and taking a sheet of paper and dividing it in half. On one side write down all physical symptoms you are having; on the other side, write down any/all emotions you're experiencing. Next to each item, write how long you have noticed having this symptom/emotion. If you can actually pair them up, this is a plus (ie- I sweat excessively; this happens when I am extremely anxious) because this is what the pdoc will attempt to do. Now, if you can't make connections as to what symptom is felt by what emotion, no worries... just try to make your lists and take them to the doc. Take this list to BOTH docs... GP and pdoc. Another helpful list to take with you would be a list of things currently going on in your life that are stressful... this will help the docs figure out if this stress is causing or is the result of an MH issue.

Chuc, I really commend you for having the self-awareness to realize there's a problem going on inside of you and making the decision to investigate that... especially at your young age!! Many many people go decades and decades feeling like poo and never bother to investigate because either they're afraid of what they might be told, or they don't want to admit there's a problem in the first place. So you are very very perceptive and self-aware for your age!

I'd caution you about deciding that, based upon what you've read, you are, indeed Cyclothymic or have BP. Many many symptoms of MH disorders overlap one another and what is a symptom of this condition is also a symptom of 2 others. Not saying you need to rule out Cyclothymia... not at all. It is very good to have an idea of the symptoms you're feeling and what conditions those symptoms are usually indicative of. But kinda step back and let the docs do their jobs and investigate. Where you DO need to stand your ground is in asserting what physical and emotional symptoms you are having. Psychology is not a perfect science, otherwise many of us would have been properly diagnosed years ago. But what most of us who have had a looooooong journey can attest to is that YOU know yourself best; if a treatment is not proving useful, immediately notify your doc and keep plugging along, taking note of your symptoms throughout. Perseverance will, eventually, get you someday to the right dx and right meds. It can be a long journey, so don't despair if it takes you a while to get on the right treatment path. Actually, it's awesome you found this forum now, as it can be a great source of support for venting frustrations of the journey to wellness.

I hope I've answered some of your questions. I am not a doc, nor am I an expert, but I've spent 4 decades dealing with undiagnosed Cyclothymia and, at 42, am finally on the right meds and have my dx. If you have any questions, please do feel free to post away... we're listening

Hugs,
Koshka

Thanks, guys, for all this.

Dark_in_the_Light wrote:Nobody goes to the doctor saying, "Well, doc, I'm getting lots of work done, coming up with great ideas, and enjoying everything. Can you fix that?"

That's why I thought for a long time that there's nothing wrong. When I'm down I'm certain there is, but when I'm up it's like I could never feel so low again.

Dark_in_the_Light wrote:"I think I'm cyclothymic," is exactly how I started two conversations on the road to getting help.

Koshka69 wrote:Let the professional do the diagnosing. [...] The danger in saying "I think it may be yadda yadda" is that some docs will get defensive and snotty that you think you're as trained as they are (so they'll subconsciously set about to disprove your assertion), or by mentioning Cyclo you will be inadvertantly planting an idea in their head that could result in them looking to hard for that and missing some things that may indicate some other condition.

Dark_in_the_Light wrote:It's perfectly fine to ask if it could be something else and what the reason is to back that conclusion. Likewise, it's fine to ask what rules something out.

I appreciate and completely agree with what you're saying, Koshka, but I wouldn't know where to start otherwise. I've tried to write a short, succinct summation not even for the doctor, just for me to clarify what I go through. Every time I do it ends up too long or too grandiloquent. Lists seem the way forward.

Koshka69 wrote:[...] be sure to be as specific, descriptive, and factual about any physical symptoms you are having (ie- fatigue, restlessness, insomnia, sweating, etc). [...] So what I would recommend is sitting down and taking a sheet of paper and dividing it in half. On one side write down all physical symptoms you are having; on the other side, write down any/all emotions you're experiencing. Next to each item, write how long you have noticed having this symptom/emotion. If you can actually pair them up, this is a plus (ie- I sweat excessively; this happens when I am extremely anxious) because this is what the pdoc will attempt to do. [...] Another helpful list to take with you would be a list of things currently going on in your life that are stressful.

I've tried something similar to all of this in the past. I probably won't do it on paper this time. Never heard of Excel? I'll book an appointment with my GP after I've done this.

Dark_in_the_Light wrote:Those kinds of things aren't talked about in my family. But I did ask another relative about mental illnesses running in the family and she told me about her mom (my aunt) and another cousin of ours who have bipolar.

We're not a very close family. I live with my mum (my sister just moved out last week going to uni) and I stay at my dad and step mum's once a week. I do spent a lot of time with my grandma, well, a lot more than most people I know. All I know of a history of mental illness is my dad and depression. Sometimes I find it hard to believe cause he's so confident and out-going, but there are times when it's obvious how he's feeling.

Dark_in_the_Light wrote:[...] I have developed coping mechanisms before I knew what they were. Past spending sprees led me to put anything I didn't already budget and plan for on a ten day hold. [...] I do still sometimes buy things I intend to use and end up forgetting about the project.

I do similar. I take any money over £50 out of my current account and put it straight in savings so it's more difficult for me to get at. By the time I get round to getting it out the bank, I've 'gone off' whatever it was I was planning to buy unless I do really want it. I did recently buy way too many books. I finished one, got about half way through 4 and then there's a pile not even opened on my bedside table.

Fireandrain wrote:any cleaning fits anyone? to the point of being so anal that you get obessesive and won't stop until it's done because that perfectionist part inside of you, that can be a gift and a curse, is raging? seems like you can have a strange clean freak streak inside you THEN you can lose total interest in it and let your house go for weeks because, staying organized and detailed is a struggle, and it looks like you never touched it for months... perhaps a huge generalization... and many of you may say, "that's not me at all!"

That's most definitely me! I hadn't even noticed I do that til I read your post. Well, it's me in the microcosm of my bedroom.

I've been feeling fine since my first post. I was a little bit stressed about my UKCAT (clinical aptitude test) that I did on Thursday and writing my Personal Statement, but all of my tutors were understanding and let me put other work on hold. I've already caught up with everything, apart from one German essay. It only took one late night, which I sadly had to pay for the next day. It's times like that when I hope for boundless energy and mental stamina.

I'll probably post again once I've done Koshka's suggestion of writing everything out. Then it's just having the balls to book the appointment (it's on my to do list) (booking the appointment, that is, not having balls).

Thanks

I’m sat awake at just gone twenty to three in the morning. In the past few hours, I’ve cleared up about half of the past fortnight’s to-do list. My dad and step-mum are away. I don’t live here. I just stay here on Thursday nights because I work at the school down the road first thing Friday morning. The boiler’s not working. Apparently the fault code ‘F1’ means the water pressure’s too low. Last Thursday, my two band mates came round for a practise. We came here so we didn’t get in anyone’s way. I wasn’t exactly the cheeriest of chappies. The practise didn’t go as well as could be hoped for. I keep having to get up to tend to the nice fire I’ve got burning. This is the only warm room in the house. Last Sunday I invited a female friend round. We watched a few films with the fire roaring. I still wasn’t feeling great. I was just so tired and wasn’t really interested in company. I didn’t have the best of times but I do hope she wasn’t lying when she said she enjoyed herself. I’m having a few friends round tomorrow (Friday) night. We’re gonna be relying on body heat until enough people leave so I can safely light a fire. I’ve recently found out that my college “[offers] one-to-one, confidential counselling to all staff and enrolled students on any personal concerns or difficulties, whether they involve life in college or outside.” I’m thinking it might be worth chatting to them. A friend recommended that I go speak to them and in his opinion, having had poor, useless counselling before, they’re quite good. I’ve no need to ask to excuse my pause in writing to sort the fire. I still feel like I ought. We’re assigned a Personal Development Tutor (PDT) at our college. You stay with them for the whole time you’re at the college. I don’t know what to say to her. She’s said herself that she thinks she’s got to know me quite well, but she’s still often very uncertain about me. I’ve a feeling she’ll start asking me to explain my recent bout of lateness in both arrival and meeting deadlines for work in our meeting next Tuesday. She’s nice enough, if occasionally a little irritating. A short note about counselling ended up longer than planned.

chuciklas wrote:We’re assigned a Personal Development Tutor (PDT) at our college. You stay with them for the whole time you’re at the college. I don’t know what to say to her. She’s said herself that she thinks she’s got to know me quite well, but she’s still often very uncertain about me. I’ve a feeling she’ll start asking me to explain my recent bout of lateness in both arrival and meeting deadlines for work in our meeting next Tuesday. She’s nice enough, if occasionally a little irritating. A short note about counselling ended up longer than planned.

I've been out of school for quite some time, and the college I attended had a psychiatrist who mostly prescribed adderall (a stimulant- he was constantly being mislead by his student/patients. Those who legitimately needed some advice usually didn't see this school doc).

Back to my point: What is a Personal Development Tutor?
If she is supposed to be aiding you in any therapeutic manner in regards to cyclothymia (or whatever seems most appropriate after more contemplation), then those are very odd words from a therapist. Generally, a therapist should not claim to "know you well."
The goal in therapy is to understand, identify, and help aid any troubles you're wrought from, and certainly not to claim to know you. That's narcissistic.

Again, I haven't a clue as to whether Personal Development tutoring is an education aid or a coping companion ("coping companion" sounds a bit dreadful... maybe my vernacular is just suffering from sleep deprivation [I go on tangents, I'm sorry. This is your thread, not mine.]).

Unordinarymadness wrote:What is a Personal Development Tutor?
[...]
I go on tangents, I'm sorry. This is your thread, not mine.

They're just your 'go-to-guy'. In theory, you go to them with any problems, academic/personal/etc, and they help if they can or point you in the right direction. If lecturers want to moan about you then your PDT is the person they do it to.

It's not a person's thread, it's a subject's thread.