We have the right to express real emotions, don't we?!#@!

With a deep exasperating sigh, I find it simply part of our plight that those closest to us will blame our "over reactivity," and every single emotional outburst, on "the disorder" OR "our hormones" and we somehow don't get the legitimate right and opportunity to be pissed off like other human beings on the planet! Long story short... hubby in a rush this am, random act of love and kindness on my part, breakfast on the go for him, almost ready, "2 more minutes baby,"... "I don't HAVE 2 more minutes!" oh no he di'in't!!... seriously! dude pissed in my cheerios! I was hurt! I was angry! I asked myself ALL the internal questions... IS it the cyclothymia sending me into this furious tale spin? these hot tears running down my face?!? hormones???? He continued scrambling around... I developed this huge lump in my throat and decided to toss the entire breakfast in the trash! Did I over react? Most definitely! Did it make matters worse? Absolutely! Did he blame my reaction on my disorder, my hormones, my meds, my instability, my mania blah blah blah??? yes to all of the above! Many could debate... shouldn't have! good for you! but the underlying point for us is that the core emotions of hurt and anger are very real and need expression! Chuckin' it in the trash felt GOOD, not the most mature thing, but he didn't appreciate my gesture in the least anyway... some dysfunction was rearin' its' ugly head, and as a couple, we have stuff to work through. Anyone can relate?

Yeah, I can relate. I'm not in the mood for detailing it right now though. Maybe later.

Oh, man... KAPOW! We are NOT our disorder!!! I hate when people blame that for everything. Makes me feel like screaming at them "the disorder is not mad; I AM MAD!!!!" Can def relate, luv.

Sorry to hear your man had a lapse in common sense... happens from time to time

Hugs,
K

At having people think your emotions are part of a disorder, yes! I manage to feel strongly emotional about something and... people think i'm experiencing some sort of trigger, melt down, or am going hypomanic or depressed i.e. "what's wrong with her ?" Maybe they should be asking "what's right with her", goddamnit, i'm feeling something, not talking about aliens crawling all over the ceiling or something!!!!!

OH katana and Koshka!! Well Tickle me Happy!! Missed your guts around here!! : ) powerful women achieving amazing dreams!!! Much love... Here's to to
real emotions expressed with more flamboyance than the average bear prefers, screw 'em! Heehee!

Missed you too F&R!!!! I need to pause the school button every now and again and get on here like I used to.

How's this for a great rationalization.... my emotions are not the disorder; they are me being ALIVE AND PASSIONATE ABOUT LIFE.

Just sometimes I get a lil too passionate... haha

ps- LOVE your new avatar (tho I've been MIA for a month, so dunno if it's new or not... lol.. just different than last time I logged in)

Hugs n Kisses
K

Fireandrain wrote:OH katana and Koshka!! Well Tickle me Happy!! Missed your guts around here!! : ) powerful women achieving amazing dreams!!! Much love... Here's to to
real emotions expressed with more flamboyance than the average bear prefers, screw 'em! Heehee!

well, im not normally known for being emotionally expressive, lol, its more since coming on here. I'm very sure what i feel is not stronger than what others feel, (apart from depression and anger, which might be.) i just don't know too well how to deal with emotion when it hits, and you don't see little kids showing self-control in expressing their emotions, they have to learn, so im not sure why people should expect it of me when i often feel things im not used to feeling and try to express them.

My psychologist said something to me that fits perfectly to this conversation..she heard me say "I have friends who are bipolar" and proceeded to correct me with this amazing statement...."You are not bipolar. You have bipolar disorder. But you also have green eyes, blond hair, and a great sense of humor." Having a disorder does not define who you are. It simply is a single factor of the person that you are.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! Dr. Prentiss Price makes the same critical distinction in his book The Cyclothymic Workbook... this seems like a semantic hairsplitting detail, but there's a quantum leap of a distinction in terms of how much of our identity we attach to the disorder and consequently how
much power we give it over our lives. I'm gonna write your pdocs words down in my journal! It simply
Is a single factor in the person that you are! Powerful! Empowering! Uplifting! Tytyty! Uofkan3- you are so young yet I have so much I hope to learn from you and your mom. I didn't even know I had cyclothymic disorder until I was 42! You are so blessed to have such a loving relationship with your mom and she has lived through the very same struggles with bipolar disorder. My pdoc said that if my sons show symptoms in their later teen early twenties, that there's a good chance that the med blend that works for me may work for them. Have you found that to be true or no? Or perhaps your disorders are similar but different?

While I have Cyclothymic Disorder, my mother has Bipolar I. However, because the symptoms are quite similar, often times doctors will try the mother's medicine course on the child if they both suffer from mood disorders or anxiety disorders. Before I switched to Gabapentin, BuSpar, and Geodon, I was on Geodon and Cymbalta (Along with BuSpar), the same medicines that my mother is currently on. For the first month, they worked perfectly for me, but then eventually wore off like medicines usually do for me. However, they did seem to work for me amazingly well in the period that they did work, suggesting that the correlation does exist between a mother and child's treatment plans. So the answer to your question...yes, my mother's medicines did work for me....but I have the unusual trait of my body "getting used to" my medicines, so I usually am forced to switch medications every few months. But who knows, maybe the combination I am on right now will work for good. I am quite hopeful.