Is my depression coming back?

I've had depression for a long time now. As far back as I can remember from being a kid I've been depressed and it's been a very rough road. I've tried to end my life several times but it always seems to fail. I was on several medications for depression, anxiety, bipolar and OCD. Almost a year ago I stopped going to therapy and took myself off all medications but recently I've been feeling depressed again. Am I having a relapse? I'm having thoughts of ending my life again but only because I'm sick and bored of living. I don't really want to die but I don't want to live, I'm just getting tired. Help? Motivation to keep going?

Hi, noname! Yah, it might be a relapse. Numbness and feeling like just giving up can go with depression, as you probably know. I think you should talk to your doctor again and ask for a bit of help. Don't let things get as bad as they used to be.
You have yourself to live for, you know that you can feel better and enjoy life, right?

Stopping the meds yourself was not a cool thing to do, I bet you thought i feel good i dont need these anymore. I have done it myself, then relasp an you reolise your not in control your brain is , It may be going on walk obout for a while, So see your doc an get leveled out.

NonameO... It seems to me that you have thought quite often about taking your life and that is quite serious. You may think that deep down you donʻt really want to go through with it, but just the fact that suicidal ideation is dominating your thought life is a huge cry for help. the very best thing you can do for yourself is to either admit yourself in to a psych facility with professionals who can help you, and/or get back on medication! When I went off my meds, my husband noticed a dramatic difference, and it wasnʻt a positive one!! I have come to accept that there are bio-chemical reasons why my brain functions the way it does, and my moods swing the way that they do... the meds really help me personally... I know this isnʻt true for all, but my mood and daily outlook is far more upbeat with Lamictal and Wellbutrin in my life, and the Lithium and xanax are the mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety pills that balance me out. I believe that you can receive treatment without the stigma that you are being "weak" for taking medication for your condition. I urge you to go get help immediately and be honest with your family so they can be the network of peeps that you desperately need right now. To wellness and triumphantly returning from the pit!! You can do this!! Strength and courage!!

Fireandrain wrote:NonameO... It seems to me that you have thought quite often about taking your life and that is quite serious. You may think that deep down you donʻt really want to go through with it, but just the fact that suicidal ideation is dominating your thought life is a huge cry for help. the very best thing you can do for yourself is to either admit yourself in to a psych facility with professionals who can help you, and/or get back on medication! When I went off my meds, my husband noticed a dramatic difference, and it wasnʻt a positive one!! I have come to accept that there are bio-chemical reasons why my brain functions the way it does, and my moods swing the way that they do... the meds really help me personally... I know this isnʻt true for all, but my mood and daily outlook is far more upbeat with Lamictal and Wellbutrin in my life, and the Lithium and xanax are the mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety pills that balance me out. I believe that you can receive treatment without the stigma that you are being "weak" for taking medication for your condition. I urge you to go get help immediately and be honest with your family so they can be the network of peeps that you desperately need right now. To wellness and triumphantly returning from the pit!! You can do this!! Strength and courage!!

sounds good to me