New Dx Cyclo...questions

Ok, well, I introduced myself already. I guess now I have a question about this cyclothymia stuff. My psych started me on Abilify and Tegratol. I'm responding well, doing better. Does this mean I really have this disorder? If I stop the meds and get messed up again, was it the meds or really that I have a disorder? I mean the Doc says I have cyclo but I'm just trying to understand that in relation to meds and their addictive properties. Also, wishing since I love organic foods there was something "natural" i could do instead of strong meds. But I know everything ive tried on my own such as excercise, organic foods, vitamins, sunshine, etc, only helps to some extent, there's still the moodiness, still the prob with relationships, impulsivity. My grandmother was dx with manic depression...maybe that was the old term for cyclo i dunno, but I think i need some books. At first they misdiagnosed me when I was in another state working with ADHD. Gave me stimulants and well, I went through the roof with anxiety...thats another story. Good to have a dx to what I have, just wondering sometimes if I REALLy have it or if its just female moodiness, or medication addiction, lol. Ok, guess I got 2 trust the pscyh as he is a doc. Thanks for listening...am new to this dx and all these meds. I used to just take lexapro but then I always "adjusted" it according to my moods, lol!

Welcome, Artsygal!

I remember your intro... it struck a chord with me. You've been on a path that could very easily been my daughter's (she's 18). She's a Christian as well and struggles with the hypersexual side of cyclothymia when she's hypomanic... so she lives with some of the same feelings, I think. Her psychologist also recently diagnosed me with a mood disorder, as well as my husband with cyclothymia. THREE moody people in one household, isn't that fun? I wish I'd known years ago that what I thought was normal teen angst (in myself) and normal female moodiness (again, myself) wasn't. It was only through the knowledge I gained through my daughter's disorder that I started putting things together. Kind of a Oh wow, Lightbulb moment. I didn't voice my suspicions, but through seeing some of my writings and doing some marriage counseling with the psychologist as well, he came to the same conclusions entirely on his own. Now I understand WHY and that it's not normal and can seek help. From counseling, maybe meds.

Anyway.... You didn't ask about all that. What you DID ask... let me start by saying while I've had a couple of years to read a LOT on the subject, and see my daughter's treatment and my own... I'm not a doctor. So these are my thoughts, not those of a professional!

You mentioned your grandma was dx'd as manic depressive and wondered if that was the old term for cyclo. Not exactly, but sort of. Manic Depressive is the old term for what is now usually called Bipolar. Bipolar is really a spectrum disorder, meaning there are different severities/presentations/symptoms. Cyclothymia, most would say, is a form of bipolar (others are Bipolar I and Bipolar II). When our psychologist diagnosed my daughter he indicated that the reason she would be cyclo rather than bipolar II is that her lows weren't as severe. So... your g'ma did have bipolar and you have a form of that - based on your doctor's evaluations, not mine! Does that make sense?

Meds and diagnosis -- if meds are helping, then I would say it certainly looks like your pdoc is on the right track. To counter that, if they are not working, though, it doesn't mean that your dx is wrong, just that he hasn't stumbled on the right drug combination for you. And I certainly wouldn't say your positive reactions indicate an addictive reaction. There can be withdrawal symptoms if the drug is stopped abruptly, but it's not truly addictive. My husband was on tegretol for years for epilepsy. When it looked like he was growing out of the epilepsy, they reduced his doses rather than stopping cold turkey. The drug was controlling symptoms that they didn't want to throw him back into. It's basically the same when it's being used for mood disorders. Your symptoms are being controlled, removing the control suddenly is a bad idea. And... a word of warning... it's pretty typical for those on the bipolar spectrum to get feeling good while on their medications and think they don't need them anymore... next thing you know they've stopped taking them and the symptoms return. Be careful about stopping meds, especially without a doctor's supervision. Always stay in communication with your doctors

As far as natural options... it sounds like you've been down that road unsuccessfully and the meds are helping to stabilize you now. Personally, I don't think I'd mess with that. Let yourself be helped. I am in the beginning stages of diabetes. Several years ago I saw it and went down the natural road for awhile -- more care in my diet, more exercise. It worked for awhile, kept my blood sugar levels within normal. But they've started creeping back up and I'm afraid I'm coming up on a point where that may not be true anymore and I may have to accept that medications are necessary. If I am at that point... no one who understands the disease would try to suggest that I don't need the pharmaceuticals. It's no different with mood disorders. It's a chemical imbalance in your body that is a real medical issue. If natural methods have been unsuccessful, don't deny yourself the help just because it's not "natural."

Again, just my thoughts.... hope it helps!

Hi artsygal,

First, the part nobody likes to hear but it's necessary. It wouldn't be appropriate for anyone in these forums to diagnose you or second guess your diagnosis. The wise thing for you is to talk with your psychiatrist about why he or she feels it's the right diagnosis. It's perfectly okay to say you think it's just female moodiness. But listen to his or her explanation of why that doesn't explain as much as cyclothymia. Am I right to presume you're referring to mood fluctuations related to the menstrual cycle? It should be fairly easy to chart your mood changes and your cycle to look for a correlation. Just so you know, I'm not a woman. To me moodiness is moodiness and male or female doesn't make a difference. But maybe I lack a frame of reference.

Sure, your diagnosis could be wrong. That happens sometimes. Mood disorders are hard to figure out because most people who have them don't have the textbook examples. By now, someone has probably recommended mood charting. You would work with your therapist and/or psychiatrist to determine what to chart and how to identify possible triggers.

The organic diet could be great. Even so, there could be a particular food that triggers hypomanic or depressive states. If you figure that out, you could just need to reduce the amount of that food in your diet. Or you could have to avoid it as much as possible.

I'm sorry for giving you answers that don't really feel like solid answers. The nature of this beast is that you have a lot of things to figure out for yourself. What works for one person may not work for the next. That's whether we're talking about avoiding triggers, changing our routines, or taking medication.

The good news is you're not a freak. Everybody has to come to terms with who they are and what they want out of life. You may sometimes feel anguish because your challenge is out of the ordinary. But the self-awareness you develop as you face it could lead to success and satisfaction that are out of the ordinary too.

Manic depressive is related to cyclothymia and sometimes the conditions seem to run in the family. Manic depressive is an old term for bipolar. Now, that might sound scarier than manic depressive. But the name isn't something to fear. A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. And it would have the same &*$#% thorns but they wouldn't be any more or less unpleasant.

I'll tell you I didn't want to believe I had cyclothymia. My councilor asked me if anyone in my family had bipolar. I asked a relative I thought would know. I knew her mom had been hospitalized for some kind of mental issue but I hadn't thought of it in a lot of years. I'd pretty much forgotten. I wasn't even thinking about it when I asked her. When she told me her mom was manic-depressive--well, I think I'm pretty good with words but I don't know how to describe my emotions in that moment. The unparalleled combination of dread and relief opened the door to acceptance. I still have my doubts sometimes, but I can't deny that cyclothymia is a more fitting description than anything else I've come across and a person whose job it is to know these things thinks so too.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the good support and information. I just wanted to let everyone know. I really do think my psychiatrist is correct, that I do have cyclothymia (it's just hard 2 accept when you hear it). The combination of Abilify and Tegratol(mood stabilizer) is amazing. I have never slept or felt better. I am doing my art again and have more peace than iv'e felt in so long. I used to just pray and wonder why I never felt any peace as Christian, well I think this moody disorder may have been part of that. Anyways, I'm sure I can't use this disorder as an excuse for all my Christian failings in life (ie two divorces) but maybe I can have some patience and understanding with myself and finally some peace...thanks everyone! praise the Lord I am finally getting a correct dx and some real help (btw) I was misdiagnosed almost a year ago with ADHD and put on stimulants for a few months and what a stressful hell I went through...glad to have a smart doc who really understands.

Artsygal, I am SO glad to hear how you are responding to the Tegretol/Abilify. That's awesome! So many times it takes awhile with trial and error. So glad to hear that you are seeing positive results so quickly.

For us, getting the dx for both my daughter (and then later for myself) was actually a little bit of a relief -- finally we had answers as to what was going on (it wasn't all our parenting!) and we could now take steps towards trying to help her. We could now educate ourselves and understand her a little better. So... in a weird sort of way, diagnosis brought hope to us. I hope it will to you too, with time....

Part of me wants to caution you to not write off the cyclothymia as a contributing factor to your divorces. That's a fine line - I don't like encouraging my daughter (or myself) to use it as an excuse. BUT... there is a reality there. I did some research a few months ago and what I found indicated that cyclothymics do have a higher divorce rate. Bipolar II patients had a divorce rate 3.5x the general population! Let's face it -- our moodiness is hard to deal with. And our impulsiveness gets us into relationship trouble, too. But understanding yourself is the first step in learning to overcome those obstacles and having a healthy relationship. Hang in there. And hold on to the One who is holding you -- even when our swinging emotions steal the peace we know He offers!

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the warm welcome and support. It is difficult but somehow enlightening to realize and have a real dx, put a name to the havoc that has happened throughout your life ie (moodiness).
Well, I spoke too soon for tegritol/abilify being successful. It was amazing the first week I thought I was cured, then the side effects kicked in. I get strange Parkinson's types symptoms with alot of these psych meds, with the tegratol I started having a hard time driving, then bam i was having a hard time walking, talking, and had to turn over my keys! All the while hold down a job. I tell you, it takes a nerve of steel to get help for this stuff with meds while working! Anyways, doc told me to stop all tegratol and have a mtg with him soon, well see what he will try now, am kinda scared as i get a lot of park type symptoms with these meds, even Abilify he has to give me another pill for the side effects restlessness etc.
My personal life is going wacko again, I feel so frustrated. I have not had peace for a year now. I divorced my husband and we still live together. I go crazy with doubts and can't commit back to him yet feel like i cant' afford to live alone and not sure I want to. Part of me wants to run away to another state, get back on my feet again, a friend offererd to help me settle there, i dunno. Anyways, pray for some peace, I need to decide. Living together doesnt work in the long run for me or him. He has bi-polar and so its very tumultuos, sometimes if I try to leave he "looses it". Anyways, pray for us those of you that like 2 pray. I need a decision/ direction in my life. I'll cont trying medicines in the meantime... I also want to order some books about this cyclothymia stuff. I know I'm an artist and it seems to go hand in hand with creative types.