cutting

HI
I'm new to this board. I began cutting when I was 12. Although I understand "where" it comes from, I still feel quite shameful at the fact that I do it; particularly during entense emotions. I must admit that I don't know how to deal with either one and am very afraid to admit it even to my close friends and especially to my primary doctor. Have any suggestions on how to get through this. Help.

your doing great by admiting a problem and seeking help. A good psych never hurt anyone.

Also artwork is a good way of expressing emotions and can I highly suggest working out.

Really, I have serious depression and it whent away for a short time when I worked out alot.

It is a battle, keep your spirits up.

OK well see I use to cut my self I was vry depressed all the time.Well I still am but now what I do instead of cutting I write poetry and put my poems in a notebook I put under my pillow at night. It helps me alot to write all my frustrations on a peice of paper that is turning to art work. try doing something different then cutting yourself like draw paint write anything ok.

I have the same problem and didnt feel like wasting space and used this thread but anyways.... it has taken me about a 2 months but i have finaly admited that i have a problem with cutting my self i had stopped for a while wen a freind almost got sent to an asylum
but now wen some real negative thoughts have come up i just had to seek something to releive the greif from my mind so for the past month or so i have picked up anything i can find and slce something and its starting to scare my girlfreind she thinks i mihgt really hurt myself and accidently hit a vein or something and i am scared i will do that too but i dont know what else i can do to rlease some tension...

Enslaved_Filth wrote:I have the same problem and didnt feel like wasting space and used this thread but anyways.... it has taken me about a 2 months but i have finaly admited that i have a problem with cutting my self i had stopped for a while wen a freind almost got sent to an asylum
but now wen some real negative thoughts have come up i just had to seek something to releive the greif from my mind so for the past month or so i have picked up anything i can find and slce something and its starting to scare my girlfreind she thinks i mihgt really hurt myself and accidently hit a vein or something and i am scared i will do that too but i dont know what else i can do to rlease some tension...

I recognize the same feelings that you are having when I used to injure myself. I didn't cut myself though. I used to take a burning cigarette and push it into my arm just above the wrist. I have lots of reminders to me of those days in the form of scar tissue.

For me it was the same situation. I would be in such a bad state of mind that the act of causing great pain would be an attempt to alter my mindset. I think it also was form of punishment I was giving myself for being so screwed up.

It has been over 10 years now since I stopped doing that though. I can't remember what actually made me stop. Perhaps it was finding the right combination of meds that fixed me. I really don't know, I just stopped.

My only advice to you is that if you cannot stop cutting yourself that you should at least have the mindset that you are careful about what you are doing. If you do cut a major vessel you could bleed out in a short time and possibly pass out before you could get help. You may not value your life that much, but there are people in your life that you would be causing great pain that they would have to live with the rest of their life if you screwed up in one of your cutting episodes. You may not think that anyone cares enough to really hurt if you did accidentally kill yourself, but there are.

Why you are cutting yourself is a real bag of worms and I cannot even start to pretend like I can tell you what is up with that. Cutting is symptomatic of a lot of things, such as a Borderline Personality Disorder and Depression. But like you said the act of cutting changes your mindset and I understand that.

If you are seeing someone for this problem let them know that you are doing it again. If you are not seeing someone, get some help starting with a real MD Psychiatrist and not just a counselor or PhD. My experiences with MD's vs. others in the mental health field is that the MD's are just so much more on target and can prescribe meds that can see you though the dark days and get you to the next level so you can heal.

For me, whenever I had those feelings of wanting to harm myself I found that sedating myself with Xanax would offer relief. But, that needs to be prescribed for you and only an MD can do that. With PhD’s or counselors they don't prescribe meds and try to talk therapy you out of it. While talk therapy may be good, you can waste years in talk therapy and not get the fast relief that meds can give you. So, what I am saying is that you need to get straight to the Big Kahuna and not play around with the others if you want to get fixed faster.

Good Luck

I know i should seek help but i cant bring myself to doing it because if i do my parents will get involved and they are going to think its my music or movies that are influing me to do it which they arent and then i wont have music thats another thing i do wen im depressed or down is to listen to my music.... its like my escpae from reality you know? because some times i really relate to some of those songs plus im scared of being put in an asylum away from my girlfreind which is about the only person who cares if im alive or dead but anyways if it will help me i might need to talk to somebody you think if i talk to somebody who had the same problem and got over it that it could help me a little??

I have those same conflicting feelings of knowing that I should get help for my depression/self-injury and of being afraid to tell anybody. Nobody in my family knows that I cut myself. I don't know what they're reactions would be. That's probably the problem - the unknown. I don't want to see a reaction, I just want to stop the cutting, the pills/drinking, the depression. Realizing you need help is good, seeking help is scary.

thanks guys for all of your suggestions. I am thinking very hard in being honest with my therapist. You're right; it is something I need to address and wouldn't want my friends to hurt because of an accident which may have occurred out of entense feelings. You're right, it is hard; but I'm going to keep trying. Just felt really embarrassed because somehow I felt as if I were the only one out there doing it and was having problems. I want to live; but the reasons behind the cutting are so entangled that most of the times it's hard to sort through. But I'm going to make a conscious effort not to "intentionally" hurt myself and let others know I'm suffering. Thanks.

It's great that you've realized that this is something you should speak to a therapist about, I'm proud of your decision to try not to intentially hurt yourself!

in my experience it's not always some doc that can help you. i've been in therapy for three years now, and she's been really great to me. she's helped me so much over the years, i can't even begin to describe.

but she's never been able to help me stop cutting and burning.. the point is, i didn't think i was worth it to have nice looking arms and legs; a body without scars and stuff.. but then i met my husband, and that's what changed everything for me. he's the one who made me feel like there was something that was worth it... it's because of him, because of 'us' that i was able to reduce the amount and frequence of my injuries..

doesn't mean that a therapist can't help though! i mean, when you've got a good, my god just hold on to it! all i'm saying is, try to find out what does the trick for you...

good luck, all of you.

love
rose