I feel like a weirdo, does anyone else do this?

I don't think this is triggering, but I will warn you anyways...



Ok, this is very hard to explain, so bear with me and I hope you understand what I am trying to say.
When I get the urge to cut, I don't think 'I need to cut'. It's like all of a sudden my thoughts are in 3rd person. My mind says "Brandy needs to cut." It's almost like a voice, but it is just my thoughts, at least I am pretty sure they are. I was just wondering if anyone else thinks in 3rd person about needing to self injure? And then when I am cutting I think in 2nd person. "You deserve this, you're a failure, etc." Am I just weird? I feel a little insane.

I don't experience that, but it definitely sounds like dissociation. You are not insane at all. It might be a coping mechanism that you use to make the act less painful/personal? You are not the only person who experiences this, I have heard it before.

Do you think you might be able to fight back against those thoughts?

Super hugs.

- EGD.

I don't experience that necessarily, but sometimes I feel like I am not really doing it, if that makes sense. Like it's always someone else doing it.

Like EGD said, sounds like a form of dissociation. Probably a your mind's way of protecting yourself from your thoughts.

I agree this may well be disassociation tho that is not a professional opinion It sounds like it is scary for you tho. I dont think you are a freak for experiencing this at all hon.

Hugs

Cracked

EarlGreyDregs wrote:
Do you think you might be able to fight back against those thoughts?

Super hugs.

- EGD.

I can't seem to fight back against them. My therapist keeps telling that when I have negative thoughts to tell myself a reason that it isn't true. Even if at first I don't believe it. But the thoughts are so powerful, I can't think of anything good to say to myself. And even if I do the negative thoughts are so much louder. (I don't hear voices, I hope you get what I mean) I wish I could fight back, but I feel weak and defenceless against them. I believe they are true.

I am gonna look up what disassociation means since I have absolutely no clue.

Thanks for making feel like less of a freak.

i have a similar experience sometimes when i cut, its not me thinking in third person, but more like im watching someone else cut, i think i would just keep on cutting if the pain didnt give me a slight nudge to make me realize im going depper than i want to

Do you think maybe writing it down would help at all? Maybe just focus on one negative thought at a time so things don't overwhelm you, and then write down a reason that contradicts it. Just handle one at a time. I can imagine that if there are a lot of negative thoughts at once that might be really powerful and overwhelming.

Dissociation is a shift in consciousness that is usually seen as a coping mechanism. The most severe are dissociative identity where people actually take on a different identity and types of amnesia where you don't remember things. But the most common type of dissociation is really just a shift in consciousness/perception. Perceiving oneself in a different point of view could fall under the umbrella of dissociation. Keep in mind that I'm just giving my layman's explanation of what dissociation is, feel free to look it up but keep in mind that dissociation takes many different forms.

Super hugs.

- EGD.

At one point of time I was writing it down. Not at the time of the thoughts, but later when I could rationally dispute them. But there is only so many times that you can write down the same negative thought and come up with a rebuttle. And they never seem to stick in my head for me to remember when i am having the negative thoughts. I eventually gave up on it.

Thanks for explaining disassociation to me. I tried to look it up, but what I was reading wasn't making much sense to me. There is alot of times that I need people to explain things like I was a kid. Somethings I just don't get. lol

I understand. You're right, there's only so many times you can try something before it can become redundant. I hope you won't give up trying to fight those thoughts though, that method might not be working but it's possible to find a different way.

And dissociation is hardly easy to understand, there's so many different manifestations of it.

- EGD.

i talk to myself in 1st 2nd and 3rd person nomatter what time it is...is that odd?