Just Can't Stop.. *Trigger*

I started cutting when I was in middle school, no real reason...just curious about how it would feel and whether it would actually work or not. One of my friends was doing it when she was upset and it worked for her so I tried it one day after class and to my surprise I had this wonderful feeling go through my body, like adrenaline or something!
I am now 21 and have been doing it off and on for several years. Each time I go deeper and deeper. I can mentally ignore the pain but the relief I get is what I am looking for so I keep turning back. I love blood, the more the better. I have gotten stitches for my cutting before but that doesn't stop me.. I like how it takes away the pain instantly and I can handle the consequences as of now. It's stupid I know =/

Hi Enginemonkey

Welcome to the forums. I understand what you mean about it taking away the pain instantly. It's not stupid.

Are you having any help for your cutting at all?

Lily

I'd also like to welcome you to the forums.

I know you said that you can handle the consequences but please be careful as you've already realized that it has escalated & gotten deeper. Please seek therapy if you haven't already as it is really important to have a support for this.

& It's definitely not stupid, we can all relate to what you've said. It's very difficult to stop once we've become addicted to it. But it is definitely possible to fight this & overcome it & the forum is here for a support system if you need it.

- EGD.

I am really glad you decided to post here. Welcome to the forum and I hope we can help support you and help you realise you are not alone.

HUgs

Cracked

Well I checked in with the school counselor and she suggested maybe I try some medication with counseling to help with the ups and downs... I have never been suicidal before but the other night I was so upset that I purposefully took too much insulin to try and end it and it worked until my best friend found me and got help. Campus Police and the Fire Department came and helped bring me around again and I am glad they did becasue that was not truly what I wanted..it was just the mindset telling me that it was ok..Does anyone else have that problem?!

I am so glad that you are okay, Engine! I think medication and therapy would be good for you right now. Yes, we all get that mindset sometimes. Depression, and suicidal thoughts, they can easily warp our thoughts and we can end up doing irrational things that we wouldn't in our right mind.

Again, I'm very glad that your friend was there & you got help. Do you feel as though you might get suicidal again? Make sure that you tell someone this, a counselor or therapist.

- EGD.

Enginemonkey671 wrote:Well I checked in with the school counselor and she suggested maybe I try some medication with counseling to help with the ups and downs... I have never been suicidal before but the other night I was so upset that I purposefully took too much insulin to try and end it and it worked until my best friend found me and got help. Campus Police and the Fire Department came and helped bring me around again and I am glad they did becasue that was not truly what I wanted..it was just the mindset telling me that it was ok..Does anyone else have that problem?!

I am glad you checked in with the school counsellor who has suggested meds and therapy. It sounds like the episode with the insulin was a difficult time for you. Please keep safe and if you feel like that again seek help as it is important you dont harm yourself.

Hugs

Cracked