hey

hey i'm scarlet. i started cutting a year or so ago. at first on my arm, but then once my parents found out all they had to look out for was wearing a jacket, so i switched to my leg. i do mine in piriods. i do it once a week for a couple of weeks and then i stop. i'm getting tired of hiding my legs. i havn't been swimming in forever. there's more room there. when i cut if i don't cover all the space i feel like i'm a wimp.

i wish i had a better tool. i use a thumb tack. i don't stab, i scrach. i don't want the scares or the burning after, i just want to feel pain. i get so mad at myself, b/c i glorify the scars and stuff, i even show my frineds. how stupid. so i cut again and it sarts up the vitiouse cicle. i'm bipolar, so everythings a cycle to me.

i'm trying to stop, but i know i'll just do it agian and it'll be worse this time. it seems i can only be normal when i do it often and without taking breaks inbetween.

i'm so mad at everyone and i can't wait to leave this fing town. .. everyone hates me here. there's no way to get ride of any of this is there. there's nothing left here to say, i only say the same thing over and over. no meds for me. they' don't work for taylor, how are they suppose to work for me.


i wanna get away from here.

Hi there, I recognice a lot fromn what you are saying. I "started" (I dont really like to say that I cut, because I dont do it like regularily either) about mabye two years ago, I remember the day, and there is something addicting about it huh...
I think that the "help" I could give you is to advise you to stop being so introverted. Like try to do stuff you like and focus on stuff that are not distructive. Stop examening and showing off your scars. I know it is not easy..

Meds can be good. There are so many reasons why sirtan medication work for some people and not for others and the other way around. You should not just dismiss it. I personally take zoloft for my ocd and well I am not absolutely cured but I feel much better than I did before I started on them.

Take care!

Is your name Scarlet or Jessica?

jessica. scarlet's a nickname.