How do you feel today? *may trigger

I thought we could use a how do you feel today thread in the SH forum. Where we can post about how we are feeling, and where it is ok to talk about SH issues. Somewhere in between "how do you feel today" in the just for fun forum and the crisis thread for SH.


I'm feeling a little guilty and down on myself. I went to see my gp today and didn't have the courage to tell him about my SH, even though he probed with questions for over an hour (clearly he sensed something was up). He's thinking of adjusting the meds and when he said "add something" i recoiled and didn't want to be honest, well I guess forthcoming is a better word.

Sam

Great idea Sam,

This should be a stickie.

I feel really wound up right now and even tho it is nearly 4am I cant sleep as I am so worried about what I told the crisis team when they came.

Thinking of you all

Hugs and keep safe

Cracked

Hugs for both Sam and Cracked. Cracked would help to talk to us about what's happening for you?

I wish I could be honest about blah. I'm not ok, but feel strangely calm and I'm probably going to have a complete meltdown later.

Thanks hon and hugs to you.

I am just cursing myself for my honesty and I dont want to see my psych tom.

Cracked

I know Cracked, what you mean about the honesty. I think it is admirable but there are consequences which aren't based on you but based on how the other person feels about it. This is mostly why I chickened out and didn't tell my gp about SH.

Are you worried about what your psych will say about how you are feeling/thinking/doing or about the fact you told your crisis team?

Spike-the floor doesn't always drop out from under you sometimes it opens gently. Float down if you happen to go that way....

VERY nervous. I haven't seen my T in a month and managed not to cancel today's appt. ugh. After yesterday with the gp I really don't want to go.

Sam

Good luck Sam and WELL DONE!!!

I am worried about the implications of what I said to HTT and what my psych will make of it. Plus I asked my therapist straight out if she thought I would at some point commit suicide and she said that is a possibility.

Hugs to all

Cracked

HI Cracked,

Do you feel suicidal? I know we cannot predict the road we will go down. I NEVER thought in a million years I would find myself SH again after such a long time. But it is important if you are going down that road now you acknowledge it. Even if you are worried about the reactions of your team. You have to beat this, you are such a great person and I want to see you happy, which I think means well.

Sam

Hi Sam,

I am ambivalent about suicide - which I logically know is not a good place to be but I am not so upset by it. Thank you for your good wishes and I wish the same back to you.

Hugs

Cracked

Cracked, please stay connected to your support system around you including people on your forum. I think you are in a dangerous place, I know you know that, but what we know often can't do anything about how we feel. We are both logically trained professionals who use objectivity in our vocations. And we cannot rely on that skill to carry us through emotional turmoil. Heed the warnings and concerns of others and make sure you are getting the help you need. Try not to be angry this is a tough place you are in and anger will fuel the fire you are poking at.

Thinking of you, be safe luv,
Sam

I think its very for any of us to be entirely honest about things, when we know we have so much to lose in doing so. We don't need further punishment and to be judged for our thoughts and actions, but for others to show compassion, understanding and support.

Cracked try to show yourself some compassion and try to be kind to yourself tonight. People care and would rather you be here. Huge hugs.

Hugs for Sam too x

Grr I'm doing my cleanliness thing. Have had four baths and three showers today. I can't get clean. Veins are looking more and more appealing. I'm now however, I think about to go back in the shower, having just got dressed again... I feel as though I'm losing my own fight. I really feel as though I need help. Sorry