Trying not to defer to the swear word meaning female dog

I would like to speak of a certain thought which I've come to recently in me coping about someone who I used to have feelings for and am trying to get over.

Me bringing this up has been a reoccurring thing for the past ~2 years now and it is no longer really likely that I'll come across the person. I took her WAY too seriously and is no longer relevant to me. This was someone who I had feelings for when I was a teen in the first high school I went to and who 're-appeared' not long after I was in the stages of 'processing' feelings for someone else who I just had feelings for.

My intent to 're-establish' in my mind, a connection did not go well. Me having pondered over the person who's negative attributes to me came off as judgmental, shallow etc is one reason for which I would not like to (I spoke with a sibling about this recently) cede to merely dismissing her as a [gendered swear word meaning female dog]. I am quite sure that is a nice person, even in spite of how I thought her personality would be different and what was projected onto me wasn't always cordial imo.

I have a feeling that 'cracking open gender theory content' is beside the point; I'm not going to lie though, 'ceding' or 'defaulting' to a contentious and misogynistic term and concept like that is probably one of the easiest and effective ways of 'getting over' this. I could also adopt a 'the less said about..the better attitude as well' and in my opinion, I feel that a part of me would like to fixate on this because part of me desires that re-encountering her in person would be a part of a healing process

.. given how I wasn't even like this with second person I feelings for though, I feel like asking myself "Why would you defer to such a word ?". What does that say about you?." while another part feels like deferring to a 'Why are you making this into such a big deal?" question and attitude. Alternatively I could remain with an attitude of indeterminacy or (dare I say it?,*non-spiritual*) agnosticism as to what this all means and adopt a different method.

Semantics are something I take very seriously and personally.I would appreciate any advice on not 'deferring to the gendered swear word meaning female dog'; this issue affecting this one cisgender heterosexual male as I'm sure it does with various others. Thank you very greatly.