Advice

Hi all, I'm new here and am looking for some guidance I guess. I hope this is the right place to post this.

Where to start.. Ok, well, I have never really been in a relationship, well the 1st and last relationship I was in lasted 1 year. In which it ended horribly when the guy I was with attacked me physically. That was about 7 years ago now.
I haven't been in a relationship since really, well if 1 to 6 months are classed as relationships.

I am a survivor of domestic abuse, (emotional / physical / mental abuse) that happened me through the ages of 3 to 20. And have been working through some dark times the last 3 years.

Back to the reason I'm posting this. The last person I was intimate with, this person I happened to really like, I started having these awful flashbacks and not being able to sleep. I felt so guilty and ashamed of what I was doing. Ashamed of actually having fun and enjoying myself.

It ended with the guy after about a month, I don't think he really got what I was going through.
I find it very hard to articulate to people the extent of the abuse, or maybe he just didn't really care. Anyway it was only when we finished things that I realised this happens me nearly all the time when I'm with someone. I feel uncomfortable, like I'm doing something wrong. I get anxious.
I literally feel like I don't know how to BE with someone. I hold back a lot and kind of clam up in a lot of circumstances. And I remember feeling like this with my 1st boyfriend but I think it has gotten worse..

Generally I am not an overly anxious person, well not in this time of my life right now. I'm in college and have friends. At the moment I'm practicing yoga every day, and also meditate when I can.
It's only when I'm with someone romantically. It usually gets really bad after about a month of seeing each other.

I guess I'm looking for any advice, or someone that is gong through a similar situation.

I feel like it's destroying any potential relationships.