Living with Conversion Disorder

I have lived with this for about 1 1/2 years, and I don't want to hear that we do this for any type of secondary gains. I have neurolgical symptoms that leave me housebound much of the time. I do have better days but there is no pattern. I also have Major Depression, Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. The jerking and shaking symptoms send the anxiety sky high, and I feel suicidal a lot. I can't take antidepessants, because this started after I tried an antidepressant that caused neurological symptoms which I took at a low dose for a short time. Still, the symptoms remain. I am now on a low dose of a seizure med and Klonapin. I just needed to vent, because no one I know has heard of this, and my counselor, psychiatrist, and neurologist can do no more. I try to look at what I can do, but it is hard sometimes. If anyone else needs support, let me know. Only someone suffering from this could understand.

Hi, I understand exactly how you feel. I was diagnosed in October of 2004 during a four month long hospital stay. All of the professionals after they say "What is Conversion Disorder?" they say "Well you need a psychologist and in patient treatment." But ALL the in patient facilities we have tried to get me into won't take me. The psych in patient places won't take me because they can't deal with the physical or they feel it is a liability or something. and the physical rehab places won't take me because they don't feel I would progress due to the psychological stuff. It is frustrating, like you are in a rock and a hard place. I try to keep going every day but it is not easy. This life I live now is so different from the one I had before. I too have had thoughts of suicide, just because it all feels so hopeless. But I keep thinking there has to be someone somewhere that can fix this. BTW my symptoms include walking difficulties which make me wheel chair bound most of the time, occasional shortness of breath, psychogenic seizures and trouble swallowing. I actually can't swallow anything so have had a feeding tube for almost a year now. At any rate, if you want to talk you can e mail me at labs4kerri@sympatico.ca I also have a website which tells my story in more detail if you or anyone else is interested, www.caringbridge.org/canada/kerri Hang in there. I know it is tough. Oh BTW I have anxiety disorder to, so I know how that is. Kerri