i'm so confused

i'm a liar... and i know it... i've always known it. and i lie about STUPID things... and i lie about huge things... i lie about things that i wonder why people ever believe me in the first place. i lie all the time... ALL the time. i try so hard to wake up and think, ok, today i'm not going to lie.. it never works. i hate myself. i worry about things like... does God hate me because i'm a liar? i always have a constant gnawing fear that people are going to call me out, and expose me for the horrible person that i am. i try so hard to be a good person, and to not lie. sometimes i realize i'm about to lie, and stop myself... but other times, it just falls out of my mouth, and i get that feeling in my stomach... i've read a lot of these posts and it sounds like no one believes that you can get better... is that true? there's no way to overcome this? hasn't anyone out there gotten better? i really need some help... or support or just answers/thoughts... i'm so confused... help please!!!!

i would like to say that i am better.... but i dont know. it's only been two days since i've come to the full reality of telling the truth.
i can say that what i have lost and potentially lost because of my lies have scared me to such an extent that i will do my best to never lie again.
my lies centered around finances. i lied in great detail to the woman i love, about my finances. intricate details to the lies. forging proof. going to extremes to cover my tracks. blatently telling her lies.
one lie. then another to cover that lie. then another... before i knew it, i was in this web of lies so thick that i didnt know how to get out of it.
she was amazing and understanding.... threw me a life saver. gave me a chance to come clean and be accepted. she would work with me on it. i took that chance to come clean.
except i kept one lie. at the time, i wasnt even thinking of it.
then another lie to cover it. and another. and another.
tons of lies later....

and it comes to her finding out. i told her. told her the absolute truth.
now she can not trust me. her exact words: "i am incredibly angry, hurt, upset, crushed, disappointed. i feel betrayed, lied to, taken advantage of, treated like a fool. i wish i had never met you. you are INCAPABLE of the truth. you are reckless, irresponsible, dishonest. you are simply incapable of seeing reality. i just want you to know, that i would have accepted you poor, even taken you dirt broke..... but you are a liar, a manipulator, a con artist...... i dont even know how to describe what you are..... you just have sunken to the lowest levels i could ever imagine anyone sinking to, and even if i did want to, i could never respect you again."

this all happened within about one month. i went from having the woman of my dreams, a baby on the way, and an amazing step-daughter....
to having nothing. all taken from me by my actions as a liar.
the extent of her hurt is beyond anything i can describe. all because of my lies.
as for me... now i have nothing. i am alone. i am trying to convince her to keep the baby (which is rather far along). not one word i say holds any truth to it. she can not believe a word i say. she wants nothing to do with me. will allow me to have nothing to do with her, my step-daughter, or the baby that might not be now.

all because of lies.

i hope i have learned. i hope my experience will provide some inspiration to others to do right... to not lie.
keep concious of what you can lose at all times.

i wish you the best of luck!

With people like the two of you and all the compulsive liars out there it always seems to be so self absorbed all about you you you! The excusers you all come up with, all the sympathy pulling you people do is inexcusable and disgraceful. You are all responsible for ruining and destroying other peoples lives. People who loved and cared about you more than anything, You treated these people with no respect at all. And continually turn the attention back onto yourselfs with a woe is me I cant help my self. You are going to be lonely old people who had chances of good lifes with people who loved you. You deserve every bit of unhappiness life dishes out to you, I strongly believe in KARMA. As all the unhappiness people like you created other people in your life will come back to haunt you......No sympathy for people like you

Anonymous wrote:With people like the two of you and all the compulsive liars out there it always seems to be so self absorbed all about you you you! The excusers you all come up with, all the sympathy pulling you people do is inexcusable and disgraceful. You are all responsible for ruining and destroying other peoples lives. People who loved and cared about you more than anything, You treated these people with no respect at all. And continually turn the attention back onto yourselfs with a woe is me I cant help my self. You are going to be lonely old people who had chances of good lifes with people who loved you. You deserve every bit of unhappiness life dishes out to you, I strongly believe in KARMA. As all the unhappiness people like you created other people in your life will come back to haunt you......No sympathy for people like you

Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned?