The irony of coming clean

As I posted here a while back, I finally confessed my lies and came clean. I have not told a lie since. Here is the irony, as liar I am adept at sensing when a lie is being told to me. When I first sensed that my fiancé was lying to me, I thought that I was paranoid. I dug deeper and confirmed that she is indeed lying. Since then, I confronted her a few times and she still stands by her lies, very adamantly in fact. They are so ridiculous and transparent that anyone with half a brain could prove that she is lying. The irony is that when you come clean, you realize that others around you are liars too. Like alcoholism, I suppose that you must change your playmates, playgrounds, and play toys.

It was just an observation, strange in my opinion, and one that I may never have realized if I were not trying so hard to stay the course. I feel so bad about how things turned out. I very much wanted to repair things with my relationship, now I know that is not to be. I simply have to say goodbye.

I completely know what you mean. Being someone who has had a problem with lying all my life, I can sense a lie from a mile away. And whats even more strange to me is that when people lie I know its a lie, but it seems that most other people are fooled by what I see as blatantly obvious.

Perhaps it gives truth to the "takes one to know one" saying.

I would take this as a privilege though. You can use the fact that you are able to easily decipher a lie from the truth to not only protect yourself from other's lies but also to help keep yourself in line by showing you what it feels like to be lied to. It was a hard lesson for me to learn at first, but Im a better person because of it.

Sometimes it is a curse though. My metronome of trust seems destined to swing toward "BSer" side. Given that, I mentally compensate by trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, which I tend to overcompensate. The result is that I get people that are blatantly telling me lies and I want so much to believe them that I overlook the GIANT red warning flags. People tell me that we cannot be close because I have lied and they can never trust me again, all the while they are lying to me. The irony of it all is amazing.

Was she lying to you because she felt that she needed to give it back to you, like you deserved to be lied to? Or, because of all the anguish you put her through ? Have you seen her lies now because you are not sp wrapped up in your own?

Was she lying to you because she felt that she needed to give it back to you, like you deserved to be lied to? Or, because of all the anguish you put her through ? Have you seen her lies now because you are not sp wrapped up in your own?

Nobody but the liar can tell you why, sometimes not even they can. If I had to venture a guess I would say that she was lying because she felt that she was sparing my feelings.

So she lies to protect u and u lie to protect u- sounds like a great life u lead- good luck with that! I hope she is fat and ulgy because that is the only reason she'll stay- keep feedin' r' fries!

You are an absolute joke. I think serves you right you deserve everything you get. I was with a compulsive liar for 13 years And I can read people like you like a book. Woe is you....I strongly believe in KARMA.. Its not over yet mate.. You will always be a LIAR

Interesting replies, I am not sure you really read the thread though. The relationship is over, sure I accept the blame for that. The point was merely an observation that once you come clean the lies that others feed to you become more apparent.

I have come to terms with my part in the situation, imperious replies are not necessary. My observation was that compulsve liars exhibit the tendency to be involved with people that may be just as culpable as they are.

Ironically I think i just found and have admitted to myself that my ex fiance was a compulsive liar. Now, he kept telling me that I was lying. And I wasn't. He would tell me constantly that I don't trust him and don't believe in him... But it does no good to tell someone that, if they don't believe it about themself. If they don't believe themselves, they aren't going to believe you. The saddest thing about being a compulsive liar, is that you lie to yourself. So why wouldn't other people's honesty, seem like a lie?
Just something maybe you should think about.

Brilliant reply I couldnt Agree with you more... fantastic... no one wants to here the real people hurting. the ones who get lied to continually over and over again.. none of the liars want to see what damage they have done.. the people who have had the wrong end of this awful desease need to speak up more. we also have a right to voice our hurt and dispair at being treated in such a damaging way.. Well done