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I'm a liar. I hate myself for it. I don't know why I do this. I don't know how to stop. I thought I could just...vow to stop lying and then I wouldn't do it anymore. But it didn't work.

I'm 21. My life has been beautiful. But I get really depressed and when I'm not sure if there's a reason, I lie and say that something horrible happened - that I've been abused, sexually/physically/verbally...I say that someone in my family has attempted suicide. I say horrible things that never happened and everyone believes me, and then I feel better.

Now I'm disgusted with myself. I don't deserve to be loved but I can't believe I want it badly enough that I'll say horrible things like that.

There are a few people in my life who have never heard me tell a serious lie like that, or even anything beyond a white lie...my fiance, my parents and family...my therapist...
The only thing I've been hiding from them is my compulsive lying.

And I still want to hide it from them. I'm ashamed and miserable, and I want to make this go away on my own. Can anyone recommend anything? I need to fix this problem. I hope I'm not a sociopath or something like that...I'm (seemingly) normal in just about every way aside from the crippling sadness and this lying problem. I want to believe I'm generally a good kid and a kind person and a dedicated student...so why do I do this, and how can I stop?

I'm glad I found this forum. I'm so scared to talk to anyone about it.