Total disclosure?

Try HPD forum.

http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6157

Jamostrat and starz...

Wow...it sounds like the two of you either need to seriously go to counseling or just call it quits. You sound a lot like my former boyfriend and I did a while back. It's understandable that there is anger and bitterness and confusion, etc. But after a while, when it resorts to just "PAIN" you have to make some decisions to do something else. My boyfriend and I couldn't get past the lies that were told. We tried many times. We went back and forth like you guys are, until there was just so much damage from the name-calling and ugly words that now we barely can communicate at all. At first it was just like we were bruising each other with our words, then it started to scar. Bruises go away...scars don't. For a while, the apologies could be accepted...after a while they were just words. I have no doubt that you two love each other, and that is why all of this hurts so much...for both of you. But for both of your sakes...give this some serious thought. I feel for both of you. I hope you can get some...reprieve from this somehow. Don't wait until you hate each other. Good luck to you both.

Hi dismayed.
Thanks for your reply to us both. It has been an emotionally battering 2 years for us both. We have both done stupid things, through hurt and anger. When i met Jam, i had no idea of the hidden hurts inside of him. In some ways this was good, as i saw a wonderful man who very quickly became my soulmate. 2 years on and i am now with a wonderful man, who i understand better than no other, and love like no other.
It has been incredibly hard to find understanding and forgiveness. But through listening, and caring, we have found this together. We do have some issues to work out, and we are going to be going to relationship counselling together. To be honest, im not sure we need it. We have a massive capacity to communicate. We have our moments, which sometimes spill out on to this forum, It has been a massive support to me during these times, as have the other posters on here. We have fought tooth and nail to get through some really really awful times, to get to where we are now, very happy and with a massive understanding of each other.
Through it all, i can say, he is worth it. It has all been worth it, and i love him very much. I couldnt ask for a better man in my life.
Once again, thanks for your message.

I want you to know that I totally know what you mean when you say it has been an emotionally battering 2 years for you both. In my case, I was the liar, and our three year relationship is over...with much bitterness and anger and frustration and blame on his end, and just total emptiness on my end now. I think you are a wonderful girlfriend to be able to stick by him. I KNOW how frustrating it can be for you! You seem to be able to realize that it is just as frustrating for him! That's so great! It's not fun being a liar. It's not easy. It just creates a lot of self-hate inside of us. I started counseling for this in January and have been working on it ever since. It hasn't been easy. I am slowly figuring out who I even am. Cause I haven't known...for a long time...if ever. People do crazy things when they are filled with hurt...people do crazy things when they are desperate. I sincerely hope that you two can work through this. I would really love to hear a happy ending. Good luck to you both...and God Bless!