Lost love because of my lies, advice would be wonderful

Hi my name is Dustin and I am 28 years old. I am here to say that I am a compulsive liar and I don't even know why I do this. I can honestly say I don't know why I do it, I don't know if it is a habit or if it is an addiction or what, but I would really like to change because all I do is harm the people around me that really care. My girlfriend just left me 2 weeks ago, I really do love her with all my heart and would never intentionally hurt her..I guess I am one of those people who learn the hard way. Maybe it was a wake up call I don't know. I have the tendancy to over exagerate or lie about the smallest stupidest stuff. I also have a problem with saying things then not following through which then leads to dissapointment after dissapointment. Well she must have finally had enough and she told me that she was drained and that she just couldn't deal with it anymore. It was then I realized what in the hell did I just do, as soon as a lease was out she was out the door like a bolt of lighting. I don't know what I need to do...its an absolute nightmare I am fighting two things now losing her, and knowing that I lost because I was a total failure and I could simply not be honest. I would give an arm to get her back and I don't know if she can ever forgive me...and on top of her I broke in to her email because of the constant stress that I am being delt with which was the most ulitmate low I have done in my life which I think just put the nail in the coffin. I just don't know where to begin, I don't know what proper measures to take. I would really like to break this habbit or addiction to better myself first then take on other responsibilities. It's very embarrassing for me and the others around that are close...is it possible to even regain trust from others around you that you have hurt? I am absolute mess right now and I really want to get this fixed for myself. Any advice would be wonderful, instead of being in denial the whole time. Sorry for the long post..

Hey Dustin,

It's such a shame that most of us don't realise how bad we have made our lives until it is staring us right in the face. It happened to me, it has happned to you, and it will continue to happen to many other people around the world. I believe that people start lying in the first place because they aren't happy about one or more aspects of themselves. So, think back: Did you originally begin to lie because you wanted to be someone that you are not?

Compulsive Liars start-off with a few small lies but they eventually lose control and it become like an addiction to lie at every opportunity. Just so you know, however, it wouldn't be strange at all for you to go to your local doctor about this. They would have encountered this type of thing many times before.

Kevin

I don't know if you will be reading this or not, since it was a while ago that this happened.

I just went through a very similar experience.

I don't know how I got this way, either, but I know that the pain from feeling hopeless can be overwhelming. Right now, I am reaching out to every option that I have. I am looking for counseling, I am reading online articles and looking for books to read. I have sent several emails to my parents, asking them for advice. And, lo and behold, I am here--looking for support.

My guess is that you are doing the same. All I can say is that wanting to change is the key. She might be able to take you back if you prove to her that you are different, or that you are seriously trying to be better. It all depends on your relationship and how she feels.

Then again, since it was a while ago, either of you might have moved on or already made things work. I don't know.

All I know is that anyone can change. The first step is admitting that, and is also often the hardest step. But for many, such as myself and possibly for you as well, sticking through until the end will be the hardest step. That may or may not be harder without the help of your loved one or loved ones, but all things are possible.

Keep trying. One day you will be able to look back and you will be proud of yourself for the changes you have made.

Personally, being that I know pretty well what you went through, I can only hope that you have already experienced that.

Best wishes on your growth. I hope that you have healed.

~K