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I'd think that if you atleast told the truth that you lied each time you lie, you'd be doing better. I would respect that kind of truth and would recognize it as your way of wanting to stop lying. I wish my husband could even think to do this--I'd hug him for it, even stay in this marriage for it. I dream he'd grow such balls to admit anything. I think people tell the truth because it's the right thing to do and it feels good to be good. In my life I've learned that telling the truth no matter what the consequence is is the boldest, happiest, most freeing way to live. Do you think maybe compulsive liars lie mainly because they aren't convinced that lying is wrong no matter what? I think lying is first and foremost a character defect. Maybe you can stop if you remind yourself that temporary feelings of embarassment or humiliation are better than a lifetime of hell for lying. Good luck with stopping--you sound like you really want to change and I admire that. May your balls grow hairs and continue to guide your lips.