How Could My Brother Do This??

Im wondering if someone in here could give me some advice. Ill start at the beginning...

My brother is 6 years older than me and is diagnosed with XYY syndrome which makes him extremely impulsive and has a lack of realisation for consequences of his actions. He also has learning difficulties and other behavioural problems (i do not know all of them as my mums in bed because its 2 in the morning hehe) anyway ...

Even since i was young he would do little things such as robbing a sweet or breaking something and lieing about it but my mum thought this was normal. He was overly hyperactive an craved attention -even if it was negative any type of attention would suffice. This is when my mum realised that something was not right and eventually he was diagnosed with XYY.

It progressively became worse such as when he was in secondary school and was caught with vodka + red bull. My mum asked where he got the vodka from and he replied that the red bull came with it in . When asked why he did it he answered with the most irratating repsonse "I don't know"

My dad was not exactly a great father to say the least. Most of my brothers outbursts were in hope of attention from him and , unsuprisingly, my dad seems to share the same impulsive behaviour, however he is more manipulative and mentally abusive. He left about 7 years ago.

anyway getting closer to the point (sorry this is long) over the past few years, my brothers episodes have gotten worse. at times he can be perfectly normal but overly enthusiastic at one point and then completely depressed at another. he is not abusive but does have a short fuse at times and gets aggravated and irritated quite easily. He broke up with his 1 year girlfriend about 3/4 year ago and since then his episodes have got closer and worse. In April he was on webcam to his ex with a knife saying that he was going to kill himself. my brother is too much of a coward to do this i think, but craved attention from her. she phoned my mum and she went straight over. that saturday we received a phonecall at 4 in the morning; it was my brother screaming down the phone that he had been stabbed and was lieing in a pool of blood.

when the police found him, he had a scratch across his stomach and a rip in his shirt (that did not resemble a knife cut), with little to no blood. he was quite drunk at this time but still his exaggeration was frightening even though he was under the influence of alcohol. he was not able to give in a statement but he claimed at first to my mum that it was a few young lads. this then turned into a gang of asians. his story did not seem realistic or believable but we ignored this due to him being drunk.

after that he seemed okay for about 2 months. he enjoys danger and anything that may be life threatening maybe as a thrill i do not know - i cannot understand him but i love him with all my heart!! anyway 2 days ago i was taken out of school and brought home with the news that he had small intestine cancer. as you can imagine all of us were completely devastated. we did not have any doubts that this was anything but the truth - he would not lie about anything as important as this.

he claimed that the night before he had a stabbing pain in his abdomen. he then went to town shopping at 10am, went to the NHS walk in centre about 11am. they found "a lump" and refferred him to The Royal Hospital. he supposedly walked straight through without having to give in any details, then went straight into a CT scan where the doctor "saw the cancer grow rapidly before his eyes" he then apparantly said my brother needed immediate treatment, gave him a needle in the lump and gave him a pescription for a stabiliser tablet. he was then on the train home for 1.40pm

at first no-one doubted him but as the story unravelled we had our suspicions. we phoned up the hospital - no record of him coming in. the walk in center - still no record. the pharmacy - no perscription under that name. This could all have been a coincedence but giving his past history of lieing we doubted it. we even went back to the hospital for him to retrace his steps so we could find the department were he supposedly got this scan .. we ended up in the STD testing centre. He was completely furious "what have they put in me???" i do not know whether he is delusional and seriously believes it because he was adamant to show me where they put the needle in and where they took the blood test - but there were no marks and his reply was "i have good healing skin"

as if that wasnt enough, he was supposedly told to return 2 days later for a follow up appointment, funnily enough there wasnt any outstanding appointment hmm... Well well welll wasnt it a shock when a letter had come from the hospital! he came running over with letter in hand. as i looked at the letter i saw the fuzzy NHS sign (JPEG format does not come out clear) with the information that he had been misinformed about cancerous cells and that the medication he received was suffice WOW if this treatment works that well why dont they give it to everyone who has cancer and then they will be cured!! hmm and the doctor said **direct quote** "we wish u a well recovery" - strangely enough it was signed by a DEPARTMENT .. with no signature.

my mother asked him if he was lieing and he simply ran out of the house and said "how could i lie about something like that". my brother is very smart and by answering a question with another question means he does not have to admit to anything. to now he has not admitted that he is lieing however apparant it is. he has upset and affected everyone and even phoned my dad after not speaking to him for nearly a year to tell him that he had cancer. this could be a massive cry for help and unlike before we cannot ignore this - if we do we are neglecting him by not getting him the help he needs and will cause him to be a threat to himself and others.

he has slowly destroyed this family. i am worried that he has much more than XYY and have been researching all night. he has very close symptoms to bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, co-dependent personalitiy and of course compulsive lieing. i am afraid he may have to be sectioned and that going in a mental ward will make him 10 times worse by picking up bad habits of the other people. my brother has never been bad really - he had his episodes but most of the time he was fine. it is recently that things have become worse and his craves for attention are getting more extreme. i am terrified of his next cry for attention and what extreme measures he would go to to get it.

I love my brother very much and i want to excuse his actions but there are no excuses for this. i cannot understand how a person could do this and why?

i need someone to talk to who is unbiased and not part of this incident and if you have any suggestions/ opinions then please post back it would be greatly appreciated

thankyou

Jess xxxxxxxxxx

Hiya, Jess,
Sorry no one has yet posted a reply to the difficult questions you presented in your post.

Perhaps there is only the simple answer (to "How Could My Brother Do This??") is: He is ill. Sounds like you've identified several possible diagnosis. But for sure his has the XYY genetic problem: which can certainly aggravate all the others.

We can certainly empathize with your situation... but is there anything else? any other way we could be supportive?

I'm wondering what you are doing to help *you* ?!! Since there's not much that a family member can do to help somebody like your brother unless you can get him some professional assistance. Any luck on that front?

::Here's thinking of you::
—LQ

Hi Jess,

Well done on coping as well as you have, I know it must be hard for you and your family, but if this is left and not dealt with I fear for the stability of your home. XYY syndrome doesn't directly cause the problems you say your brother has, and many live a normal life with that disorder, therefor the behavior your brother is showing is either due to him coping with his syndrome or some other life problem in the wrong way, or is as you suspect some other behavioral problem that is of yet undiagnosed.
Unfortunately, there is so many behavioral conditions these days that many have the same characteristics as others 'imitating' each other, therefor you really do need a professional to get the right diagnosis. Don't worry they wont section him at all, his behavior doesn't meet the right requirements and he isnt a physical danger to himself or others but if they decide it is better for them to treat him like that they will ask for permission and you could ask for an alternative-he can be treated at home!
It sounds as if he just needs some behavioral therapy and maybe some medication. You do need to take him to see someone otherwise It will only get worse and not better-you and your family have his future to think about-as an adult his behavior wont be acceptable and he may be outcast.
The good news is that with the right help his life and the lives of your family can dramatically improve. Even if he has no other psychological/behavioral problem like you suspect and fear, his behavior still needs to be changed. A psychologist or a behavioral therapist will make this happen.

I wish you the best of luck, stay safe......and sane x