I can't stop lying to my wife

I really am trying to change all of my negative quality's that have slowly deteriorated my marriage. My biggest thing right now is my lying. I do things then even though i know my wife is going to find out I lie about them. We're trying to work things out and I've really been being honest with her until last night she doesn't like me drinking and I drank we're long distance so I planned on her not even knowing which was my first mistake and I realize now that's still a lie but then I slurred my speach one time and she asked me if i had been drinking knowing she will hang up and not talk to me till the next day the first thing out of my mouth was no I haven't she said I know you have tell me the truth or I'm hanging up I keep lying to her telling her I hadn't drank she hangs up anyways. I ended up confessing today so she finally talked to me but then she got so mad that I still lied to her I think she might be done but I want to put in effort to change this and hopefully get yet another chance. Instead of just accepting the initial consequences of her not talking to me I have now potentially lost my wife. I told her I was changing and to her it looks like I'm not but I'm really working on everything with myself. This is just one example pretty much all of my lies to her are very similar with differences in what the lie is about. I know the first solution is to not do things I have to lie about. I'm looking for any kind of advice on things I can do to get out of this habit. Things I can put into practice or think about when I'm talking to her to remind myself to tell the truth no matter what.

You make a very good point that the way to start is to stop doing things that you are tempted to lie about. That truly would help things. I know that when you have lied to your wife anything that's fishy that comes up brings up all the bad memories and fears and hurt from the past. It's a hard thing to overcome for both of you. But stick to your idea of staying straight so there's nothing to lie about and you will come out of the other end of this long tunnel in good shape.

Hey Ruby
How about stop worrying about your wife & start to love yourself? I know that sounds corny, but if you loved yourself you wouldn't do things that aren't good for you; you would do things that build you up, make you feel good inside, make you healthy, ect You might also want to make choices that are good for you. DO you stop to consider yourself and loving yourself before you make a choice? DO you think about consequences for you, your life, your body, your reputation? These are all aspects of you that you should be taking care of....loving...nurturing. Sometimes you have to be your own parent.....if you wouldn't tell your son to drink & lie to his wife , then why would you tell yourself to make these choices?

Just think about why you are sabotaging yourself??? Any thoughts on that?

-- Mon Jul 22, 2019 5:59 am --

Hey Ruby
How about stop worrying about your wife & start to love yourself? I know that sounds corny, but if you loved yourself you wouldn't do things that aren't good for you; you would do things that build you up, make you feel good inside, make you healthy, ect You might also want to make choices that are good for you. DO you stop to consider yourself and loving yourself before you make a choice? DO you think about consequences for you, your life, your body, your reputation? These are all aspects of you that you should be taking care of....loving...nurturing. Sometimes you have to be your own parent.....if you wouldn't tell your son to drink & lie to his wife , then why would you tell yourself to make these choices?

Just think about why you are sabotaging yourself??? Any thoughts on that?