Help!

Hi there,

I'm new to posting on forums, mainly because I haven't really stood to gain anything (or keep anything) until now! It's finally sinking in for me that I am a compulsive liar. I don't know why, but I have been lying about loads of things for years. It has cost me plenty, including a job, my clean criminal record, the ability to borrow money, but now I stand to lose the most important things I have ever had in my life - my partner and two beautiful daughters.

The stupid thing about my lying is that I know it's wrong and when I'm found out I can see how stupid I was to lie and how much I hurt those around me, but I can't stop doing it. Mainly I lie about money, because we don't have much of it as a young, single income family. I have also lied about where I am, what I am doing and who I'm with. When I'm found out I stick to my story until I'm blue in the face and my partner just gives up. I'm at the stage where my partner hardly believes anything I say to her that is factual, even if I am telling the truth for once.

Believe it or not, I'm not a bad person, but I have very high expectations without the means to support them. To her great credit, Dell is sticking by me but has made it clear that I am at my last chance now. Telling her I'm not going to lie any more doesn't cut it and I want to change because I'm petrified of losing her. am certain this is why we choose people as partners - to stand by us - but I doubt I'd stand by myself if I was her.

Where do I start to look for answers? We can't afford to see a counsellor or really to do much at all. I'm confused and scared and I need to know that I can overcome this disease.

Toby

Well my friend, the place to start is IN YOU. What do you want....if you want the life u have, and your wife/gfriend.....then make a decision, simple as that. There is no therapy, or medicine for that, u need to make a decision, and stick with it. All the talk in the world is useless to the boy who called wolf 1 too many times...your actions will speak for themselves. It will take time, be honest, tell it straight, and walk the walk, she will se it in time. No magic answers. Here's your "cure" : Stop lying, and tell the truth. The ball is in your court....make the right moves, and make them count.

Also, if you notice that a lie slips through anyway, don't hesitate to correct it as fast as possible.

When I'm found out I stick to my story until I'm blue in the face and my partner just gives up.

I would not appreciate that if I were your partner.