New to this

Hey, I've never done anything like this before and I think it's best if I just start by being really honest with myself. It may be the first time I ever have been honest with myself.

I lie constantly. About my experiences, my past, even the most simple inconsequential things. It's an involuntary reaction at this point. The lies just slip out of my mouth without me even realizing it's happening. I honestly can't remember a time in my life where I've been an honest person. It's not malicious, but there's something unsettling about realizing that many of the relationships you value the most may be based on lies.

I'm realizing more and more lately that I genuinely don't even know myself anymore. I'm realizing that all my life I've been mostly playing different characters instead of actually putting in the work to connect with myself in any meaningful way.

I don't want to be like this anymore. It may make people find me interesting but it brings me no real happiness. I want to be a whole person and figure out why I feel the need to lie constantly and put myself in situations repeatedly that ultimately make me feel unfulfilled and lonely.

I hope this place might help me with that.