Why can't i just be happy?

Hi,

I am not sure where to really begin and have never had to confidence to find help until now. So here goes....

Around three years ago, i was in a long term relationship with someone who was perfect, we had a great relationship, there were no faults. However, i put myself into a situation where i cheated and went to great lengths to keep it hidden. Until eventually it all came out and the relationship ended.

Fast forward to now, i have been travelling, giving myself some me time and trying to clear my head. However, a friend came out to visit on my travels and we became close, leading to starting a relationship. However, once again i could not be faithful and when an old flame messaged me and gave me attention, i could not say no or reject the advances and it all happened again.

I am really low as to why i cannot just be truthful with people and why when i know i have something so good i ###$ it up. I really don't want to go on lying to anyone that get's close to me.

I feel that i am a good person and can offer something to someone but i really don't know what is wrong with me. I have no reason to lie but yet still do.

M

Welcome to the forum Mattym ,

Sorry you are struggling with this . It's true , you are not a bad person . There is a lot of good information in the stickies on this forum . It may help you to take a look through them . Is there someone you can talk to about this ?

You can learn to acknowledge the compulsion yet choose not to act on it . Sometimes just taking time to think about why you feel the need to lie and considering what you will gain ( or lose ) by doing it , can be enough to stop you from acting on the impulse .

All the best .