So now what?!

So after years of being called a liar, knowing that I've told some tall tales about things that don't really matter to people, I am getting help. I have appointments at two different places and I'm going to see which doctor I like best. My question to all of you is...So now what?! How do you go back and undo all of the lies you told? How do you make everything better? How do you remember every single one and fix things with those you love? How do you get rid of the guilt you've carried for years? How do you move on from this? Right now, I feel like there's no way, and that I'm a bad person who doesn't deserve anyone in my life because I am a bad person. How do I get my brain to stop racing? I would never want to hurt anyone in my life. How do I come out of this?