Lying is ruining my relationship

Hey guys I'm new at this but I need help. But I was too scared to tell her when we first started talking to each other that I was divorced and I've been married before. It goes a few months in and everything is great everything is perfect and were getting engaged and planning to be married and we were even looking at venues. So during this time I'm still trying to sort everything out with my ex-wife with the cars and the money and everything like that. I don't tell my new fiancé this because I didn't want her to worry when she asked me about it when I got a text from my ex-wife I said it was nobody that it was a coworker. I don't get me wrong nothings going on with me and my ex-wife I can't stand her guts and I'm so glad that she's out of my life. Fact the remains that I lied to my fiancé about it and she found out she got upset and I just lied more and kept lying and lying about it. I hurt her really bad and I finally came clean and told her what was going on but still didn't tell her that it was my ex-wife didn't let her know that I was married. So she asked why we were together so long and why you didn't get married and I lied about why you didn't get married. Then intuition kicks in and she ask again the next day and the guilt sets in with me and I finally come clean and tell her that I was married and divorced and it's completely heartbreaking to her. This kind of thing goes on and on she is me second third fourth fifth chances and then finds out something again and I lie about it even though she asked to come clean I just lie I can't help it I panic I get scared and I'd lie even though I know it's wrong and I should just come clean. Currently in therapy and a couples communication class and I've even turn to this form for help I don't know what to do. We still love each other and she still loves me but there's such a horrible trust issue and I don't know what to do to make it better. I'm trying to be honest about everything now even want to tell her the truth she second guesses me and it is ruining our relationship it's ruining my life and she's the only woman I've ever loved and I love her so much and I hate that I keep hurting her. So please I'm asking for anyone's advice anyone story anyone success something to help you get through this I'm doing my best and I'm trying everything but it's not a quick process and it's hard to make her understand that. She doesn't realize that when I'm confronted and I have to lie I panic and I get scared and it just compulsive I lie and I don't know why and I don't want to anymore. I'm tired of lying I'm tired of hurting the woman I love and ruining my life and I don't have much close people around me and its because of lying and I don't want to lie anymore. Please help guys I'm desperate what do I need to do what I need to ask my therapist to do what is wrong with me why can't I stop lying?

Starting a relationship off based on lies does not make a good foundation.

You stated " when I'm confronted and I have to lie" this is your problem! You don't HAVE to lie you choose to. If you feel backed into a corner, excuse yourself from the conversation and take a short break until emotions calm down.

You are seeing a therapist and I am by no means a professional in this field, I'm just like you in that I came here looking to fix a problem so I hesitate to give any advice. Just be completely honest with him.

Thank you for your advice. I really do appreciate it and it does really help being on their forum. Reading everyone's stories is really a huge sigh of relief that I'm not the only one.

The therapist does help but I'm wanting to try seeing a psychiatrist to dive deeper and see if there is something that creates such a hard mental block when I feel like I have to lie. I know I don't have to I just get an overwhelming feeling to do it.

Thanks for the feedback.

Here's a thought. Sit down with her and dump everything out that you have ever lied about. Explain that you want her to know everything so she can know you and know that you are trying to be and stay level with her. Then when ever anything comes up that she wonders about or finds fishy, stop the conversation and go over everything related to the fishy item, so she can see all the details and know that you are being truthful. Maybe that would help with the trust issues.