I cannot stop lying...

All of my life almost ALMOST everything i have said the day i could utter whole sentenctes have been a lie...I lie to my loved once the once i fall in love with and my best friends...I know that i lie and i love it and i fall in love with my lies and enjoy and laugh deep inside when someone even though they normaly dont trust people that much and see into other peoples lies they still believe ME! I feel evil and feel good about it...But i know deep down that i must stop this and that it is destroying my life, I also have a very troubeling compulsive disorder and a heavy alcohol addiction since i was 13, I get addicted to substances very easily and are prone to abuse....I suffer from the same hellish nightmare every every night all night long with allot of pain and as last...Since like 2 weeks every time i wake up my hands are full of blood and i have my wounds on my arms and hands...But i never in a sane wake moment enjoy self harm...

Thanks in advance for reading!

Check these links out, guides from Billi Caine. She has a great amount of insight into this addiction

compulsive-lying/topic115788.html

compulsive-lying/topic116107.html

And yes, lying is a lot like drugs in that you get a rush when you pull it off but there is always the crash afterwards.