I've totally lost control!

I dont know when I started lying, but I did. No one has seriously been hurt by my actions, but the guilt eats at me. I dont talk to anyone about what is going on inside my head and because of this overload of thoughts, I have started having anxiety attacks which I have hidden from my family. My academics is slipping. I have lied to my professors as well as to myself. I tend to fall into severe depression every now and then, and I dont know what to do. I neither go to college, not stay home, I end up sitting at the park by myself. I have stopped socialising almost completely. I refuse to meet with my friends. I dont talk much at home, and I'm lost. Im scared beyond my wits that I have almost every symptom of borderline personality disorder, one which ny grandmother had. I am quite good at hiding my emotions because of this compulsive lying, but that makes my head want to explode. I have been punching walks and bruising my fist again and again, before it heals again. My thoughts are moving towards suicidal, but Im scared. Please help me.

Welcome to Recovery FictionSaga and BIG HUG. I know you are scared. Lying addiction is a very frightening thing.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are always alternatives to ending it. Now that you have found this forum, know that there is hope and help.

To business... To help you understand some of what is going on with you and why you lie, I recommend you read these posts I did. The third link is for tips, tools and techniques for stopping lying... They will work if you are ready to recover and are willing to go to any lengths to turn your life around.

compulsive-lying/topic103034.html (Lying is an Addiction NOT a Moral Issue)

compulsive-lying/topic115788.html (Why Lying Addicts Lie)

compulsive-lying/topic116107.html (How to stop lying)

You are no longer alone.
Billi Caine