Just 'accepted' my problem - wanting to change

I suppose that makes sense, certainly makes it harder but maybe that's the push I need! It is mostly a workplace thing, just the generic, polite question of "how are you" and so my standard answer has always been "fine" no matter what. That's the habit I need to try and get out of though, I did avoid it a few times today with a more accurate response so it's a start...

Well, it's been just over a week since I've first started to tackle this head on. To say it's been a hard week would be an understatement, can't really say any $#%^ is feeling much better right now.

Thinking consciously about everything has made me much more aware, there have been a couple of instances where I have lied (and regrettably not corrected myself straight away), but there have also been a few situations where I have told the truth and forced myself to when I know that in the past I would have avoided the issue completely so I guess that's slight progression. I think the main 'problem' is that I haven't really been put into a position where I felt like I've had to lie to avoid conflict yet. Since I only seem to do this with people I really care about and that person is now out of my life then it could be a while before it happens again. But for now, one day at a time and all that...

The recovery movement talks about "progress not perfection" which sums up where you are perfectly. It is vital that recovering addicts give themselves credit when they do things right. Addicts are in the habit of always berating themselves and this is what feeds the bloodstream of the agenda of addiction because the less self esteem an addict has the more likely they are to use their wet, dry or behavioral drug of choice. So.... HIGH FIVE on the things you have done well!

Any progress is good progress. Good job! I've found that most conflict came from my lying to avoid conflict and being caught, so when you stop lying to avoid it you have less of it. Keep up the good work!