Definition of:Compulsive Lying

I am eighteen years old and currently attend college. Eversince i can remember i have lied, but in the last few years it has become like a part of my life. When under any stressful situation lies come out of my mouth before i have ever thought. But ever silly situations i lie in, and i dont understand why, I believe this has esculated greatly since moving away from my childhood home. Should i seek proffesional help?? Am i a compulsive liar????

A person who is a compulsive lier is in a way asking for help. Please let me explain. The lying is a side effect of a disorder, which can be a personality disorder, like NPD, BPD, etc or mental like being bi-polar and others. When your partner lies, you will need to get that person to get a physiological evaluation to determine the cause of the lying. Look at it like having the flu. The fever is a symptom of the flu, not the flu itself. Lying is the same. It's a symptom of a disorder be it a personality or physiological or both. So when you find that your partner lies all the time, you will need to look closer and then found the reason behind the lying...

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My daughter is dating a compulsive liar, going on 2 years now. I think she too is happy to lie if it gets her what she wants. She has been warned about the lying boyfriend, and seemingly has decided that the rewards are well worth it. The guy is actually very nice, and apparently very well off. And he treats her very well. As far as total honesty - who could ever know what goes on without being able to afford an investigator (and why should we - she was warned and would certainly never believe mom and dad). Anyway, from reading the above, it was nice to hear that some of the "liars" do not lie to their loved ones. It seems to be a matter of degree - there is some hope for the objects of love of some habitual liars. As far as I am concerned - you are lying to impress people. Guess what. No one knows the real you, so no one is impressed with you anyway. No one can EVER like you, because no one can ever know you! People can like a person who doesn't have extraordinary qualities, give people a chance! (I personally don't like people who only like extraordinary people).

Whow!!!!! I have read as much as I could of the posts. Again Whow!!!! I went looking this evening for help. I need help for a niece. I am so mad at her for her lies. She lies so much, as is so good at it. I fall for her lies all the time and then get mad at myself for believing her. But, now I an the blunt of part of her lie, she is mad at me for exposing her last lie and wasn't to turn all against me. I have helped her for two years, food, clothing, house over her head, money for what ever she needed. I am a christian woman and I do belive that she was sick. She has so many lies, her latest one is she is having a baby. Well, she has been pragnant for about 16 mos. She won't go to the drs. She eats all the time, I believe her gaining weight is to make her look PG. I am 61 years old and had three daughters, I know what a pragnancy looks like. She is alway telling people she lost the baby, but is pg now. My niece is married, has a 6 year old son by a formor young man. She is a controlling person. She even tries to controll me. But, I won't let her and I think that is the problem. She turms everything I say around, what ever her mother say's she turns around and almost nothing comming out of her mouth is a truth. I was searching for help for her. But, she won't admit she has a problem. Yesterday her new husband, was left home with me while my niece N went with her mother shopping. While he was here I asked him if he was happy? He asked me why? I told him I didn't feel he was as N talkes to him as if he is her servant. Do the dishes, hang the colthes, etc. He hasn't had a job since I have known him, because N won't let him go to work. He has had offers and always tell the people N has something else for him to do. I asked him about these jobs, and he has told me all the lies that she told him to keep him home. He has been cut off from his family, because N dosn't like them. They are out to sabatouge thier marrage. I am not a trouble maker, but I am tired of how she talks to him, and her mother. I don't let her get away with it to me. But, I have 40 acre ranch, and they live on it for just room and board. N's husband help do things around here. But this was to be just temperary.
N has tried to take over my home, my grandchildren and the children I babysit. She tell everyone what to do. This is why I have tried to see what is going on with the husband. I see how miseralbe he is. N has lied to him about so much. Now about being pragnant with his only child. He loves her son very much and is a very good father to him. As far as N let him I sould say. If he disaplins him then he get hell.
I am so tired of her lies, and what she has done to this sweet young man. She is just now 21 and he is 24 and her slave, and can't do anything to please her.
When N. got home for shopping yesterday, he confronted her and there was a battle. They fought in front of the 6 year old. As it is he is so insecure I am worried about him. But, I just want her to stop lieing. Her son is starting to lie and follow in her foot steps.
Anyway, the new big lie now is that she was raped by her son's father. She never said anything to anyone years ago because no one would believe her. No, Why would we. But, it acomplished everything she set out to do. Change all the lies, to put her in the spot lite and all the lies went away so everyone could rally around her new lie. I truly believe she was not raped. I was a rape victom, myself. I know the fears and thiings assocated with it. N dresses with the most provocitive tops you can get, she is very big brested and she wants as much to show as possable. I sew and she has had me make her tops. I don't think rape victoms will go to that extream to draw attention to themselves. I may be worng.
N got what she wanted, she got her husband to feel sorry for her and forget all the lies she told him. I am now the bag guy. She has cut him off from the rest of the world. He told me he was afraid of her. She has beat him up before, he has hit her back, but she has threatened him with jail. I can ask N and her husband to leave my property. N is my great niece, her mother and sister also lives her. I think the world of all of them. I know N is sick and I truly want to help her stop lieing. But, I also know she has to admit to lieing. She never dose. What can I do to help her. She has a wondeful husband that adores her, but is more afraid of her now then ever. Such a sad perdicament. She is a procrasanater, then blames others. She gives her mother controll over her son, then when she wants takes it back. The little one has no structured, disapline. He dose what ever he wants to until he crosses or upsets her mother. Yes, she has pulled the very sick lie also. She has told us all that she has a very rare lung desease. She needs to go to a hospital in Sacramento, CA, because that is the only place they have a doctor that can cure her. Well, that has been over a year. Each lie get better and bigger. She has to controll everything or she won't have anything to do with it. She is so smart, yet dorped out of her last year of high school. Let me know if anything I can do.

My worst charater defect is being a liar!

It's strange to admit it to what seems like the whole world. But i'm pretty sure i'm a compulsive liar. Most of the times lies are thought in my head like a story in order to have something to talk about.. but sometimes its just an immaturity issue where its easier to fumble the truth than bare the consequences.

I've been with my boyfriend on and off for over two years now and he's my world but everytime we split its because i fabricated something. A few days ago it happened again after i had just recently claimed to never lie again and im on the verge of loosing him.

most of the times, there's no reason to lie. i just do and it gets to the point where i dont know whats truth or whats not.

after ended another argument of the same issue he's getting tired of all the empty apologies. So after some research i realized that my problem with the truth has to be rooted deeper, when i explained some of the things ive found out from compulsive liars, it fit my discription to a "t"

our final attempt to get over this is for me to get some outside help. If i could, i would go to a therapist, but i dont have the money or the time with college classes and a full time job.

so im looking for a support group or anyone with suggestions on where to go.

HELP!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I have read all posts and can relate to all comments.

I am 32 years old and compulsive lying has comsumed my whole life. I realise my wrong and do nothing about it, being selfish not trying to change has a huge impact my my wife and 4 children.

To all who read this, do something about trying to change! Do not put it off like I have, do it today.

My mind is filled with lies and I do not know what to do?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a compulsive liar.

My girlfriend of nearly two years just dumped me because I couldn't tell her the truth. She can't handle the pain of being deceived any longer, and won't take me back.

I don't know what to do because she means everything to me. I want to change. I am trying to change. I have made a great deal of progress, and in more areas than just my compulsive lying habit. But it is too late to save our relationship.

I want to have her back. I want to prove to her that I have changed, but there is nothing I can do.

I am lost.

My name is Andrew and im 21 yrs old. Iam a compulsive liar. i just recently found out to the extent of what damage i have been doing in my life. It has caused problems at work, problems with friends, and i even drove the love of my life insane, into hating every bit of me. My family doesnt really know how bad i lie because i hide it. because i am ashamed of what they will think when the find out that their only son is a fake, a low disgusting mirage of a real man. I'm childish and extremely selfish. It started when i was young about 7 yrs yrs. old i would like to make my friends like me more. it did it to make them think that i was interesting all because i was insecure and i wanted attention to be the "cool kid". i remember telling them that i had come from a different state and that my family was rich and bought me anything i wanted. So stupid, and later in my life my friends would learn that i lied about almost everything and it had come to the point where anything i said they would think was a lie, even when i was telling the truth and i was very frustrating. i finally moved to a new area and i started over but i still told lies and i never stopped. Now my life is in shambles and almost to the point of ruin. I met my fiance about 3 months ago. One of my good friends introduced us. at the time i thought that they were dating because that's what he told me and later to find out the were not. To fast track my fiance and i fell in love almost instantly and it damaged my friendship with my friend. My lying in our relationship started with me lying about changing the name of her on my phone. and it just progressively got worst and worst. one of the worst lies was when i tried to deceive her while i forgot our one month anniversary. she was on her pain medication which made her forget things the next morning and i tried and tell her that i had remembered and that she was the one that was wrong. and it was disgusting and deceitful thing to to.She still stayed with me. A couple times she saw me looking at other girls, and i still denied it even though see saw. i kept lying and lying and denying it all til finally i just gave up the lie. and told the truth. My lies have gotten so bad that my fiance's attitude towards me completely changed into just rage and disgust. She cant even say that she loves anymore, and i cant see the love in her eyes just tears and sadness in these past few weeks i haven't even gone one day without lying and then having an argument about it. I make her life a living hell and i want to stop hurting her. i want to care for her and make here happy. She's being really supportive and shes got me to therapy, and i cant even be honest all the way with the therapist, i sugarcoated my lies and i avoided telling her how bad my lying actually is. Shes given me countless opportunities to stop lying but i cant seem to stop hurting her. i cant take this anymore. i want to have a life with my love. i dont want to hurt her anymore, im done with all the denial, and im ready to shed this infection off of me. i want to be happy about myself, and not have to lie all the time. My life is a horrible mess and i NEED to make these changes now for me and for my loving fiance. i love her so much and im so so sorry that i put her through all this pain and suffering.

Hi andrewsusie,

I think that you are ready to come clean, but just need to be pushed a bit in order to actually do it. What you should do is conjure up the determination over the next few days or so and then just be done with it- i.e. let the truth come out; all of it. What I suggest is that you actualy write a letter and then hand it to those affected in your life. The letter could be written similar to the way that you've written this post here. THe problem with verbally admitting the truth is that the other ppl would typically become defensive/argumentative. However, through a letter, it gives them more time to absorb what tyou're saying, and it's easier to take in/accept.

Kevin