I really need help

Hi everyone,

I'm really scared about posting here like this, but I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've recognized that I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm currently in a situation in which my lying has damaged my relationship. I've been seeing someone who I really like for about half a year, and I have never lied about how I feel towards her at all. However, before this, I was seeing someone else who I ended the relationship with, but still liked me a great deal.

While seeing the person I really like, I was lying to the other person. I never cheated on the individual I really like, but I made up lies to make my life easier with the other person. It makes it harder as we work together also. I felt myself getting in deeper and deeper up to a point where I had no idea what to do anymore.

Eventually, on New Years Eve, the situation blew up and I probably brought the new year in the worst way possible. The girl I really like is still talking to me, and understands that I never cheated on her and I said these things to ward off any problems there might be to our relationship. The other person involved has taken this very badly, and even though I've been telling the truth to her, it only makes things worse. She says a lot of hurtful things to me, and also claimed she was going to 'dismantle' my life.

I honestly just want to make things better, and it feels like I want to lie my way out of it. The whole situation is making me increasingly anxious (which I already have some severe problems with) as time goes on and I feel like if I lie I won't be as anxious.

I don't know what to do, I just needed to talk about it somewhere. I'm scared of what people will think of me if I tell them all of this.

I hope this is in the right place on the forum, sorry if it's not.

Hi There,
Welcome to the forum. I must have missed your post yesterday. Apologies for the late response.

Do you lie in other areas of your life? Would you consider yourself a compulsive liar/ lying addict? If so this forum can help. If not, I think the only real suggestion would be to just let the situation run its course. All choices we make have either positive or negative consequences and in order to learn from them, we have to let them and life run its course and make new choices to never get into those situations again.

As for the person going to "dismantle your life"...no-one can do that bar the individual themselves. If you are living a life that your soul is happy with then no-one can "dismantle it". They do not have the power however much they may try. Strive therefore to clean up your lying life and this will all settle down in time.

If you are a compulsive liar/ lying addict then as with all addictions, consequences are part and parcel of getting to the point where we become ready to change and are necessary even to get to that point.

Big Hug,
Billi Caine

xajnsx wrote:Hi everyone,

I'm really scared about posting here like this, but I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've recognized that I have a problem and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm currently in a situation in which my lying has damaged my relationship. I've been seeing someone who I really like for about half a year, and I have never lied about how I feel towards her at all. However, before this, I was seeing someone else who I ended the relationship with, but still liked me a great deal.

While seeing the person I really like, I was lying to the other person. I never cheated on the individual I really like, but I made up lies to make my life easier with the other person. It makes it harder as we work together also. I felt myself getting in deeper and deeper up to a point where I had no idea what to do anymore.

Eventually, on New Years Eve, the situation blew up and I probably brought the new year in the worst way possible. The girl I really like is still talking to me, and understands that I never cheated on her and I said these things to ward off any problems there might be to our relationship. The other person involved has taken this very badly, and even though I've been telling the truth to her, it only makes things worse. She says a lot of hurtful things to me, and also claimed she was going to 'dismantle' my life.

I honestly just want to make things better, and it feels like I want to lie my way out of it. The whole situation is making me increasingly anxious (which I already have some severe problems with) as time goes on and I feel like if I lie I won't be as anxious.

I don't know what to do, I just needed to talk about it somewhere. I'm scared of what people will think of me if I tell them all of this.

I hope this is in the right place on the forum, sorry if it's not.

This is something I really see differences in. Why were you lying? For their benefit, or yours?

And, your focus should be YOU. Not things. You need to make YOU better.