How can I turn off a compulsive liar?

Calling a spade a spade.

I do some weekly volunteer work with poor people.
One man in particular drives me crazy with his lies and nonsense.
A couple of weeks ago he told us he was 65 years old. OK, so he was born in 1948.
He told us he had been in the CIA and was assigned to a special security unit for JFK.
His story went on that he was off duty the day Kennedy was shot, but if he had been on duty, he would have foiled the assassenation. But he's 65 years old, remember? That makes him 15 years old when Kennedy was assassinated. Too young to be in the CIA. Not him, he was a special agent to JFK at age 15.

Then there is one of his other lies. He was in the same unit as Elvis when he was in the US Marine Corps. So I looked it up. Elvis was drafted in 1958 and stayed in until 1960. So my lying buddy was in the Marine Corps at age 10. He ignores this fact, and sticks to his story.

He has been a Navy Seal, Green Beret, CIA agent, and spent 10 years as a prisoner of the North Vietnamese. A member of the Blue Angels aerobatics team,... the stories go on and on.

The man is a good person. Just his lying about everything gets under my skin.

Any suggestions on how I can encourage the man to "get real"?

Ahhh... I really feel for the man in question and for you having to deal with the lies. This man's self esteem must be through the floor to create lies such as these.

Here's the deal though Skilsaw... the kind of lying this man does is about addiction and so seen within that context, unless and until the person themselves has had enough of the lying life, there is nothing a person can do to get that person to "get real". Nothing at all. The thing about chronic lying addicts is that they will stand by their stories until death parts them and there is not a damn thing anyone can do. Usually what ends up happening is that the loved one/ friend etc ends up feeling mentally ill themselves being the detective and being "gaslighted" (which means being told it is them who are crazy and not the lying addict themselves.)

You have 2 courses of action here. Get clued up on the psychology of the man and call each lie he tells so you are not buying into them. Lying addicts - like all addicts - need to experience the consequences of their addiction before they will get to a point where they are ready to embrace recovery and change. Calling the lies are consequences that deeply wound lying addicts (whose worst fear is being caught in lies as they become crippled with shame) which impacts their desire - in the long term - to continue lying. Call the lies with love though not with derision.

To help you understand this man, here are 3 posts I wrote explaining what lying addiction is, why lying addicts lie and the day to day drudgery of living with their lying addiction...

compulsive-lying/topic103034.html

compulsive-lying/topic115788.html

compulsive-lying/topic129187.html

Hope this helps,
Warmest,
Billi Caine