The FULL Explanation as to WHY Lying Addicts Lie

Is there any way to keep or build a relationship with a lying addict? Or is it worth keeping it?

Yes there is but only if both parties are willing to work at the relationship. The lying addict has to own the fact that they have a lying problem else a loved one will be brought down with them.

I've read through this post 3 times in just over 24 hours now. I've looked at all other articles and posts regarding the matter but none have been so resonant and accurate as I've found this one. Just wanted to thank you Billi for the help you're offering here, I know that for me personally it's been a great help over the last few days as I come to terms with my addiction and realising that I'm not alone. The fact that I've been described to an absolute tee in some of the points made has really hit home. So thanks!

That's great. I'm really happy it helped. May your recovery go from strength to strength. It's a horrific addiction you suffer with and utterly misunderstood by our society. Hopefully one day it won't be...

Yeh, I understand what you mean. I'm still new to the whole thing so I have to admit that my thinking on the matter is still looking from the 'misunderstood' side. One day at a time though!

My ex-partner was addicted to lying and your research describes exactly what he was like - during our 17 years together he lied to me for all the reasons listed. He told me he had bi-polar, cancer, diabetes and ran up huge debts. He would lie about having help, lie about where he was going, his jobs and about what he ate for breakfast. I couldn't take it anymore as he would NEVER admit to his lies and in the end I felt bad about myself because I was awful to him and had no respect for him. He couldn't even seem to end the sham of a relationship it had become. He has another relationship now and I would say he is absolutely obsessed with her and his new life. He has completely forgotten about our only son who is at university - he even stole £700 from my son just before we split up which was given to him by my mum for his education. I have tried to get him to give it back but he just makes false promises saying he has no money but we later find out he is taking lots of holidays abroad with his new partner. It is all very sad for my son who now doesn't want to have anything to do with his dad. The lies have totally destroyed both mine and our sons relationship with him - but he is oblivious to the trail of havoc he has left behind. I feel pity for his new partner if he is still lying and I suspect he is. It is a terrible addiction because you cannot SEE it.

I read this and wept. I am a liar. I started as a kid and I have never really stopped. no one I love has ever known all of my truth. I am 33, a father of four and I am trying to make it stop. I came clean to my wife and have lost her trust and affection. Your post has gone a long way towards helping me understand some of the things I have done and said. thanks, I don't feel so alone.

BIG HUG Shalarnica and Init4life. I truly feel for you both - each from your side of the fence. This is such a cripplingly sad addiction for all concerned.

Init4life - please try to carry on trying to stop. My ex had a troubled and sad childhood and I sort of understood why he started to lie as a child. He had some really lovely qualities but unfortunately the lies eventually destroy the relationship. Looking back now I realise that the lies I knrew about were probably only a fraction of what he told. We were not good together though and may be if his new partner is calmer than I was and he can manage to hold down the new job he has he can build some self esteem- but he seems to be going all out to impress his new partner and I wouldn't be surprised if he is running up debts again. But it is a relief not to have to worry about his lies or borrowing any more. I hope you manage to control your lies and find a way through - anything is possible if you want it enough

Wow BilliCane.

Your insight in this thread is highly appreciated. BTW I just joined so I'm really hoping I can curb my lying habits.