Severe cognitive problems

I am a 24 yr old student from Poland looking for help.

Warning I'm prone to anxiety, especially health anxiety, don't laugh if things I write look irrational.

Basically the issues is my cognitive decline that I've been experiencing more or less since age 13.

At age 13 I had a sudden depressive episode that started in seconds and lasted for two months. Ultimately I recovered but afterwards I noticed a slight change in my cognition 0 emotions became slightly weaker. Nevertheless the next 3 years were mostly ok although my cognition declined slightly throughout that time (the most with math and physics).

Then at age 17 something really odd took place. I took Niacin 500 mg several times (it causes flushing) and afterwards I had recurrence of that depression with cognitiv decliine. First a minor one within days (December 2010) then a major one (March 2011). I was taking a bath, repeating some foreign lkanguage decensions in my head and then... whoop. A sudden onslaught of depression mixed with anxiety together with a major cognitive decline, as if something was disconnected in my brain and impaired me forever.

I recovered from my depression in about half a year but my mind was never the same again. First change was of course weaker cognition. ANother one was near total loss of ability to feel emotions. It may be compared to losing a sense of taste or smell, just inside the head - more or less every day and every activity feels the same (like eating bland food without smell or taste). My dreams had also become weaker and less vivid. A by product of the niacin "advenrures" that for 4 years afterwards I felt constant headache or pain behind my right eye non stop (it resolved after taking eye drops for an unrelated condition)

Well, if you think that's the end... think again. Sligtly less than 4 years ago I had a not so good idea to irritate a mole (a flat one) with lemon juice and soon afterwards skin on my hands got itchy and smelly rash. I got so scared that I spent next several months in state of a psychological shock (my hands were trembling and I thought I was going to die). Skin on my hands peeled off three times within one month, I felt weak and basically only got better in late summer. And I feel that this all has damaged me even more - worse memory, worse fact recall and some other stuff I had several anger outburst over that things.

I am not currently depressed and I study at a university but it's harder for me than at any time before.

The worst is that I don't know what the f... happened to my brain since I was 13. If I go to see a psychologist/psychiatrist I'll either receive a laugh or at best be prescribed SSRis/directed to a therapist.