New to CBT

Hi guys,
I just started seeing a psych who has given me homework to write down my negative thoughts and feelings as they happen to try to help me find what's causing me to lose my temper a lot ( I have an eating disorder + years of untreated problems). But it seems that being aware of what I'm feeling just makes me even more angry. I kinda think I really need therapy or ill just keep getting worse and It might be because its only my second visit but I f***ing HATE it and I just want to quit because I'm not a 'feelings' person I don't want to know or care about why I'm angry, numb or crying a lot I just want it fixed, you know? And I know that im a huge avoidance freak so I'd go to extremes to avoid acknowledging my feelings even if it means cancelling my appointments with my psych and dietician. So has anyone had or know of any therapy that would be better suited to me? I just know if I quit my life expectancy will be even lower but I really HATE the stuff she's making me do to the point where I've got so pissed off today that I set my 'feelings' notebook on fire :S Urggggh frustration!! Anyways any help would be appreciated

Never mind guys.

Haruhi.wilson wrote:Hi guys,
I just started seeing a psych who has given me homework to write down my negative thoughts and feelings as they happen to try to help me find what's causing me to lose my temper a lot ( I have an eating disorder + years of untreated problems). But it seems that being aware of what I'm feeling just makes me even more angry. I kinda think I really need therapy or ill just keep getting worse and It might be because its only my second visit but I f***ing HATE it and I just want to quit because I'm not a 'feelings' person I don't want to know or care about why I'm angry, numb or crying a lot I just want it fixed, you know? And I know that im a huge avoidance freak so I'd go to extremes to avoid acknowledging my feelings even if it means cancelling my appointments with my psych and dietician. So has anyone had or know of any therapy that would be better suited to me? I just know if I quit my life expectancy will be even lower but I really HATE the stuff she's making me do to the point where I've got so pissed off today that I set my 'feelings' notebook on fire :S Urggggh frustration!! Anyways any help would be appreciated

I understand your frustration, as CBT can some times seem or appear frustrating, to someone who has never experienced it. And the HW assignments can feel like your "back in school!". However, this is all normal for CBT and for it to work. Try to be patient if you can, since most of the time it can take from 10-16 sessions, before you see a difference. Also these feelings of frustration/anger you have about the CBT process, would be best to explore with your therapist, who can help you manage them. Once the CBT starts to work, the feelings you have about the CBT process itself can be more easily managed, so that the CBT starts to be more effective in the other parts of your life, that you went to get help for in the first place! Remember "Resistance is a common and normal part" of therapy.

-- Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:59 pm --

I understand your frustration, as CBT can some times seem or appear frustrating, to someone who has never experienced it. And the HW assignments can feel like your "back in school!". However, this is all normal for CBT and for it to work. Try to be patient if you can, since most of the time it can take from 10-16 sessions, before you see a difference. Also these feelings of frustration/anger you have about the CBT process, would be best to explore with your therapist, who can help you manage them. Once the CBT starts to work, the feelings you have about the CBT process itself can be more easily managed, so that the CBT starts to be more effective in the other parts of your life, that you went to get help for in the first place! Remember "Resistance is a common and normal part" of therapy.

I'm the opposite to you, I am a feelings person and don't mind talking about them. I had my first cbt session today for anxiety after having my initial assessment 2 weeks ago. I then get told from the lady there that after one session she's referring me to psychotherapy as she's not sure CBT will help me as she thinks i may have a personality disorder (but wouldnt say which one)! so ofc my anxiety is through the roof now (not that it wasnt already) and I dont think i did have any CBT today (never been before so wouldnt know it if it smacked me in the face so how do i tell).

I think you have to ask a professional what's the right course of treatment for you (maybe not one where you have to open up and talk alot if you dont feel comfortable/able, if such a thing exists?)

In the meantime I'm thinking I went for some CBT for some anxiety that has heightened due to recent negative events in my life to come out of there with a PD

could only happen to me!

Just to clarify CBT falls under the "Psychotherapy" umbrella. Are you referring to Psycho-analysis (Freudian therapy) and maybe mixed up the two terms?

Thanks guys. I guess I just have difficulty acknowledging/expressing feelings I'm just a typical 'I don't know' kinda feeling person I guess it works for a lot of people but I have factual responses to things I can sit and recount something that would send a lot of people into a breakdown like I'm recounting what I bought at the supermarket ^_^ I guess I had the whole '$#%^ happens. Get over it' approach to my problems with a Great Wall of China separating myself from emotions so I don't know if its the right approach to fixing my problems since and the HW is impossible especially with the way my brain functions. Last time I saw my therapist and she said she wanted me to write down all my negative experience for these two weeks and I told her 'well Ill just do us both a favour and save time by staying drunk for the next 2 weeks so we can move on from this #######4' urghh on a positive note I haven't really had any negative thoughts just chunks of my memory gone and fewer brain cells. Is there any therapy that is more talking about past events? I find that super easy and I think I'd be better off in that therapy than this CBT I think once I got all these memories I put away off my chest I'll be all good again

That type of therapy is Psycho-analysis (PA) (Freudian therapy), it is a longer term therapy than CBT. Many people who take part in PA, can be in it for years. CBT is more short term, and more recommended for those who dislike other types of therapy.