I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

A medical doctor would be great. A mental doctor would too, because apparently therapy isn't helping. I wish you'd just talk to her and maybe she could help you. or maybe you just need to find someone new. But yes, by all means, go to a doctor (psychiatrist or "regular")!!

I just don't think you really want to die. I mean, I know you feel that way. Trust me I understand, because I've felt the same way, but deep down inside, there's part of you that doesn't want to die and doesn't want to continue to hurt herself like this. So please get someone to help you!!

how are u?I hope ur doing wonderful hun.
well i didnt go to see a doctor but I did great thanks to u talking to helped me a lot ur a wonderful person btw i think u should be a therapy or something hee i dont know anyway i didnt starve myself and didnt throw up Im just exercising for 8 hours but its not a big deal as long as Im starving myself .school is starting in a week Im kinda stressed out I dont why i just do ho well anyway just let me know how r u?

love melissa

Hi!! How are you??

I'm doing okay. Interesting week. More details of my week are on the living with mental illness forum, it's on the last page of my long thread.

I'm glad that it's helped you to talk to me!! But I really do wish that you could tlak to a doctor about it too. I'm really proud of you for no longer starving yourslef or throwing up after meals or anything. That's still too much excersize!!! But maybe you can finally get down to a regular healthy diet, and a regular healthy excersize routine. What do you think? HOw much do you weigh right now? And how tall are you? I forgot.

Welll best wishes and I will continue to pray for you, okay?

*hugs*

IT was nice to hear from you again!!

~element

hi there, dont ever think this of yourself. a healthy diet and modern exercise is needed. but on the otherhand lots of this is mentaly aswell, so you should really see a docter who can get you to a special theropist or something. dont leave your situation, goodluck.

Hi how are you? I am sorry to hear of your pain. The first step is to tell. Tell all. You cant eat and then go take pills. Atlleast tell your therapist.
I know I am 46 yrs old still watching my weight. But no longer in hiding.

Please Please stop the cycle. Deing from stravation IS a VERY LONG Time. You may get to the point of having to be hospitaliz and being tube feed. DONT get that far!!!!!!

I love you . God loves you . Controlling your food is not the only way to control who you are. Even under you r parents wishes (demands) on your life. You have choices. Make the one of health TODAY

I am praying for you

hey mellisa just wanted to say dont make urself throw up it can make you very sick cause remember ure also chuckin up stomach acid which damges ur throat so just try to cut it down a bit k

My girl , please stop what your doing. Its not a good thing to start. This is a terrible thing to be putting yourself through. Why are your parents so controling. I at one time was so depressed that I weighed 97 pds, I excersised three times a day and still felt fat, at the time I didn't feel like I had any control over my life, I felt as if I was living for everyone else but me. Kinda like me,it a subconcious thing I think, since we feel like we are being controled or are just depressed and find ourself in an uncontrolable sitution, make up for it by finding other ways to prove we control something. And we turn inward and you keep it inside a secret because thats the one thing you do have control over your weight. You have to see that you can't let things bother you so much and I know its very tough but sometimes its ok to give in. My favorite motto is BE STRONG, I believe you can use it in any situation no matter what, even in your weakest hour just keep thinking be strong. Hope I could help; a little bit and I hope I wrote it so you could understand what I wrote.

When I was a senior high school student, I had a very low self-esteem. I spent too much money for what was not necessary for me. One day, I bought a face massage machine to take away the fat on my cheek. It costed about $100.00. It is very expensive.

My parents treated me horribly. If their daughter has such a low self esteem, they should have told me that nothing is wrong with me, and do not buy such a thing.

It was very unlucky for me to be born to such parents. Children cannot choose parents. But now I am not with them any more. I am very happy. I will try to build more self esteem.

This is a very old thread. The people who wrote in it may find it triggering to get an email after all this time about something they wrote 5 years ago. They may be in totally different places in their lives and find it difficult to be reminded of this(especially the original poster). Just a thought. I was that age and in similar health and situation 5 years ago and would hate for someone to drag up what I had written then.
It's just a thought and of course you can do what you want but I just usually make reference with a link or mention a thread rather than resurrecting it.

When I was fifteen like you (I am thirty two year-old now), I wanted to kill my father and mother. I wanted to study abroad. I wanted to go to the US for one year as an exchange student, because I felt I did not match my home culture. However, they never let me do that without giving me a clear reason.

I was really mad at them. I felt they deprived me from what I am entitled with. I wanted my parents be nurturing and caring, but unfortunately they were prohibiting and fighting.

I really hate them. They blocked my life. They were huge obstacle against me through my teen age days.

I have been sugar addicted since I was very little. I did not know how to process my anger against them, so I bought a package of white sugar and ate it for one night.

I am still sugar addicted. On Sunday, I ate a cheese cake, because I was so lonely. Today I wanted to buy a pie and cookies and devour them. But I did not.

I am slowly gaining control on myself. My father and my mother had all the control on me for a long time, but now I am trying to liberate myself. I am trying to put my health in my hands and not in my parents' hands.