I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

Hello again.

Sorry that I had to go last night, but I was on pain medication and it was making me sick, and I got extremely dizzy and I thought I was gonna faint or get sick or something. Yeah, so anyway.

You are sooo sweet!! Reading that message really put a smile on my face, and I've been depressed today, but just knowing that someone cares and that I can help someone, keeps me going. Thank you so much. I don't know if I've told you this before or not, but I'm also on the bipolar forum (even though I've never been diagnosed as bipolar), so if you want to read more about me there, then you can.

take care, and please be honest with your mom. 'cuz if this keeps going on, things will just get worse, but if you go on to the hospital and get it over with, hopefully things will get better soon.

**hugs** You are still in my prayers.

I don't know if I mentioned my age before or not, but I'm 14, so maybe that's part of the reason that we understand each other pretty well. I'm going through some of the same things that you are right now. Just know that you aren't alone!!

~element

I sew my therapy again yesterday she told me that I look horrible and sick I weight 112 right now so I lost a lot of weight all I can see is fat she told me that IF MY WEIGHT GETS TOO low than I would have to go to the hospital today I passed out at school I felt like Im going to die I really dont know what to do
melissa

I don't mean this wrong or in a mean way or anything, but I wish they'd just go ahead and put you in the hospital. I'm really worried about you. I wish they'd just send you on so you can get help and get better soon. 112 pounds is NOT fat. You NEED to gain weight!!

I wish there was some way that I could help you. I mean sure I can tell you to eat, but I can't make you do it. I'm so scared that something is gonna happen to you. I have hardly any friends!! But I feel like you are my friend now, and I don't want to lose one of my friends!!

Maybe you should just ask to be put in the hospital. believe me, it isn't the worst thing that could happen to you. I haven't been in a hospital (i've been to visit, but now actually a patient) since I was almost 2 years old, but I know it can't be as bad as something terrible happening to you. If you passed out today and you only weigh 112, that means you're sick and you need help!! Please, please get help. You don't understand how bad it would break my heart if something happened to you!! Please, please get help. Please.

~element

I woke up today my mom came from vacation she was like u look so skinny how did u lost so much weight ?I told her that I was too lazy too cook for myself She Smiled and say than thats not a big deal . she asked me if i got my period I lied I told her that I had my
period a week ago yup I supposed to have my period a week ago
its harder for me to breath Im really scare I dont think that I wanna go to the hospital Im so fat I dont need to live I wish I was skinny I feel like starving to death last time I ate was 14 days ago.
element I just want to let u know that ur so nice and sweet I love u so much hun u make me feel a lot better I wish everyone were just like u.

see ya later

I woke up today my mom came from vacation she was like u look so skinny how did u lost so much weight ?I told her that I was too lazy too cook for myself She Smiled and say than thats not a big deal . she asked me if i got my period I lied I told her that I had my
period a week ago yup I supposed to have my period a week ago
its harder for me to breath Im really scare I dont think that I wanna go to the hospital Im so fat I dont need to live I wish I was skinny I feel like starving to death last time I ate was 14 days ago.
element I just want to let u know that ur so nice and sweet I love u so much hun u make me feel a lot better I wish everyone were just like u.

see ya later
Love melissa

Wait, so your mom doesn't even know what's going on with you? Does she know that you're seeing a counselor? Who's taking you?
Please go to the doctor. I'm really getting upset now. I am so worried about you. Please, please go to the doctor. I'm begging you. Please, just do this for me, and do it for yourself. Look, you do NOT deserve to die or anything like that, and you are NOT, I repeat NOT fat!! I haven't even seen you, but from hearing your height and weight, you are too skinny and you aren't healthy. You need to tell your mom that your period is late too.

I know you don't want to go to the hospital. I totally understand that, but this isn't a matter of what you want to do, but what you need to do. Please, please go. I've been praying for you sooo much lately.

Please sit down and eat a meal, and don't take any laxatives, and don't throw it up. If you can't do that, then go to the doctor. Please.

*hugs*

God bless you, and please take care of yourself. You are not fat!!

Love,
Element

Yes my mom do know that Im going to a therapy but the only thing she know that I used to take laxatives she thinks that I took it for a week but she doesnt know Im taking it for 2 years she asked me if I starved myself and I laugh and say I would never in my life starve myself and ya believed me I did 8 hours exercise today and like u told me to do I did eat I ate an apple and than I felt so guilty and fat I couldnt control myself I told myself do not take laxatives I started cutting myself for the second In my life cuz I felt fat and I didnt want to take laxatives 30 min later I took 14 diet pills Im so sad I dont want to get help I want to die I dont wanna go to the hospital.
Thanks element ur really the only one I care about and like I said if u have anything u wanna talk about pliz let me know Im here for ya and thank u so much for making me feel like someone really do care about me

first of all, I'm very proud of you for eating that apple. But, hun, an apple isn't enough. And you ended up taking the diet pills, and you cut yourself, so I think we both know that you need help. You seriously do. I'm not gonna fuss at you or anything for taking the diet pills and for cutting yourself, but I am gonna beg you to go to the doctor!! I used to cut myself, too. And I still hurt my body at times by hitting myself and stuff. And occasionally I leave a bad scratch on my hand, and I have on pretty nice cut on it right now. But I promised my sister that if I ever started "cutting" again then I'd tell her or get some help or whatever. I don't know why I ever told her in the first place!!

Melissa, please tell your mom the truth. Please go to the hospital!! Or if you can get into some kind of therapy that will help you then go for it, but please just get help, Melissa.

You are so sweet, and I think you are a super nice person, and I don't want you to die!! You don't understand that if you starve yourself to death, you aren't just killing yourself, but you're hurting a lot of other people. And if you care about me, I know you wouldn't want to hurt me. So please go to the hospital or wherever you need to go to get help. And I will be here to support you. I will encourage you as much as possible. Please, Melissa. I really don't want anything to happen to you!! You're a great friend. And you make me feel cared about too. And what will I do when I really need someone my age to talk to, but she's too sick to talk to me because she wouldn't eat anything. Please, please don't let that happen.

I got this in an e-mail, and I think you need to read it.

1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just
like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like
you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

Take care, and please get help!!

And if you do go to the hospital, let me know how things are going when you back!!

~element

Hey, I'm back again.
I just wanted to ask you how you're doing. So how are you doing? I hope things are going better for you.

Have you eaten anything lately, and if so did you take diet pills or anything afterward.

I think maybe you should just try to start eating healthy food. Not fatty junk food, but just healthy fruit and balanced meals and such. Please just try. I'm praying for you. I know you can do it!!

And if anything other than this eating problem is bothering you, let me know. I'll be glad to talk about it with you 'cuz I may be going through the very same thing that you're going through, and maybe we could offer each other advice.

Cya later, Melissa.

~element

I passed out at school Im in the hospital they make me eat I
110 today anyway iM SORRR MY NURSE WANTS THE COMPUTER PLIZ WRITE