A MAN PUT A KNIFE ON MY BABY PENIS

So i posted a topic on this a few weeks ago. Actually i think it was in the other forum "sexual abuse and incest" i'm not sure if child sexual abuse goes in the child abuse or the sexual abuse forum and i'm not sure why incest is in the sex abuse forum when most people raped by family are children.... k anyway lost on a tangent..

But!! Besides all the damage this has done to me mentally and physically, now and in the future... Something I am really struggling with is the defenders of this. Males who say "i am glad I am cut" or try to justify their abuse, try to make out like it's no big deal.
Uhh, though it's the same as everything else - It may be that they live in an area that does not promote critically thinking and they are hence handicapped. I'm not saying i'm the smartest or most knowledgeable guy ever (despite my sig, that is not serious). But I feel i'm looking at most people with contempt. There are some great people in this world that I admire. But most are terrible, despite their intentions and cannot think critically at all.
That's why we have parents in hysteria about protecting their boys from anything and everything, while only a few years earlier paying an old man to fondle and cut their genitals up.

I do remember my mum protecting me from various media. But seriously. None of that was needed. She was a ######6 idiot. She was one of those over-protective parents (though not in the ballpark of religious "protection") and it's so ironic really. I didn't need any of that! all i needed protection from was her and my fathers idiotic decision to mutilate me. Nothing she protected me from would have done me worse than getting my genitals cut up.

Now it seems perhaps a majority of men have remained in denial regarding their abuse. It makes me wonder whether if we told all abuse victims that what happened to them is perfectly ok and normal, if that would make the majority of them feel fine. Or do genitally mutilated men who do not acknowledge their abuse suffer underlying mental anguish?

Now victims of similar acts of abuse deserve and would legally receive compensation. Which is why I am not paying my mother one cent to live with her despite her pleas. I will wait until she gets my father involved (they are divorced) and all three of us sit down. I will then tell them how un-forgivable what they have done is. My father is cut too, though I do like him as a father, I will not protect his feelings in this regard. As a cut male he should have figured out what it was about by the time he was 30 and I was sliding out of my moms hole.

I do often has some confusion of sexuality. I feel worthless as a guy. Cut penises are not as pleasurable for women in many regards.
This being one example of a man who has restored:

"I always thought sex was supposed to feel good and hurt at the same time. Now it just feels good." Same for me. We grew closer as a couple and me more confident as a lover because I experienced and understood at last what she meant when she talked about orgasms moving through her body in waves, from head to toe, and I experienced first hand the full body orgasms I had been giving her but unable to have myself. I realized, Man, my dick does that for her--? I am the $#%^! Before restoring, I thought she was BSing me about orgasms because mine felt just a little better than having a good piss.

I do like that there is that little hope. I can restore and perhaps not be totally hopeless at pleasuring a woman if i'm ever to get that opportunity.
But back to the gender problems. I have become confused and have often thought I want to be a woman. I've shaved my legs in some attempt and sadly my legs simply look more like that of a 10 year old boy than a females. I have done research into the specific characteristics that differentiate males and females. Different positioning of muscle mass in the thighs and ass. Different bone structures of course. I realise I can never be a woman nor do I want surgeries in some attempt to become a pseudo-female. SO I feel sexless. I can't be a man or a woman.

As for my original point on male abuse deniers.. I feel like I can't be at peace with this issue until society recognises this abuse. I mean for example recently in the media a 20 something year old man had sex with a 14 year old. The girls parents permitted it and did not care, yet the police somehow found out and the man was obviously prosecuted. Regardless of what you think about adult-teen sex (So much more complicated than people make out) I cannot take anyone seriously who will call a 20 year old dude engaging in sex with a teen many bad names and be disgusted by the behaviour, yet will not care about baby boys being fondled and cut up by old men.

I visit a psych but i'm not sure she will ever understand. Doesn't matter that she's smart enough to endure a million years of study to reach her position. She's probably like everyone else in regards to this issue. And she just wants to drug me. I wonder how many "incentives" aka bribes she gets from pharmaceutical companies for giving drugs out.

I've become so mistrusting and hateful to society because of this issue. And honestly this pain is greatly contributing to the fact that I've barely slept for weeks and am thinking extremely poorly because of it. I'm surprised I was actually able to write this out, i can hardly think. Hopefully not too many poorly structured sentences in here.

And another thing i've just remembered. We have some bs sign at my study place that says "report child abuse, don't keep quiet" one of those generic things. I ######6 hate walking past that sign. What would happen if I reported male genital mutilation? Nothing at all, no one ######6 cares. So why tell me to report? It is just to say "your abuse in not genuine, now stop being a bitch. We don't care about you."

This seems like continuation of the previous topic that you, Anxious58, have already started. I guess, this could be considered a new topic about the same subject and not identical to the previous one because you shared new details here. For those who want to post in response to your OP, here is the original thread where this topic started http://www.psychforums.com/child-abuse/topic91715.html. I'll lock that thread to avoid confusion so that the discussion is continued here.

WM

COOL GOOD IDEA. This is the new and improved version of my thoughts at 4am last night, the old thread is inferior.

I was just reading both of your topics on circumcision, and I have to say I agree with you. I do not have all the details about it because I am female and do not yet have children, but cutting off a part of the penis does not sound like a good thing. I have heard that it prevents infections, but that can also be done with extra effort just by keeping clean there, which women manage to do just fine.

I can completely understand where you are coming from on this, as I also have Asperger's and I have been told I make certain rules on what is right and wrong. For example, I think eating animal products is completely wrong. That is not the example I wanted to share with you though.

I know that smacking children is wrong, completely terrible, and damaging. I am also very upset with my parents over this because they did it to me. I hate all people who do it and I refuse to watch TV shows which portray it as if it is an acceptable thing. I am not saying you should go this far, I am merely saying what it is like for me.

I have accepted that there is not much I can do about it, other than raise my future children without it, as there is not much support for the issue, not enough to start a petition that would make any effect. I believe people have a hard time accepting new things, because it is the norm and it was even done to them and they were fine. However, this clearly affects you a lot and probably others as well. It is difficult because it should be the male's decision, but the male is too young to make that decision.

I think informing people about it is important, and if people see all the facts and agree with you, then great. Making a website is a good idea, but it would have to be worded politely and include all the facts, including the benefits of doing it. It may seem so obvious to you, but other people have a hard time grasping it. There is also the issue of religious right, you cannot take that away, even if the practice seems insane. You have to accept what you can and cannot do. Try going to parenting websites and politely posting all the facts, and you may find people agreeing with you. Good luck.

I also think it would be a good idea to have a conversation with both of your parents. You can tell them it upsets you and calmly explain to them all the reasons why it upsets you, and what consequences it has had, and then they can explain their reasons. They may not see your reasoning, and stand by their decisions, so be prepared for that, but you may feel less frustrated if you clear the air.

-Edited.-

Here is the article on the subject you might appreciate. http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/07/10/an-age-of-consent-for-circumcision/let-boys-decide-at-16-whether-to-be-circumcised

WM

***Trigger Warning: Child Abuse***
(I'm new to posting so I want to be extra careful)

Hey Anxious58,

I registered for this forum because I felt the need to reply to you (long time viewer, first time poster). I have to say it is incredibly refreshing to hear another speak out against something that seems so engrained in the society I live in (US) to the point of actually defending the barbaracism.

I'm also a circumcised male who regrets the decision my parents made without my consent not that many years ago. I felt a whole slew of emotions when I first became aware that I was different and (I agree with putting it this way) mutilated. I've since come to terms with my situation because the plan for my life doesn't involve relationships or sex, so the prospect of being inferior in that aspect hasn't taken a toll on me. I feel for you though as I've felt how the denial and indifference can sting.

I'd like to tell you how I think about the denial. I try not to be cynical (to a fault) about other people's actions and intentions. In my research on this topic, like you, I've seen so much denial and lack of empathy towards this subject both from parents who have 'signed off' on the procedure and from men who've had it done to them. At first it was confusing and I felt anger towards them, however I've come to understand the situation they are a part of.

From the aspect of the men, I believe their denial or scorn (towards those who regret it) comes from two angles. First of all no one wants to feel powerless. No one wants to be told that they were physically altered at birth that basically boil down to 'just because'. Being told that a part of you was forcibly altered which would have an impact on your life today isn't something people want to hear, so they deny it and feel anger towards something they probably haven't though about for more than a few moments.

The other aspect that will color men's attitude (this affected me) is that no one wants to admit their parents made a big mistake. My parents have made many mistakes, such as having two children while financially broke, but none of them left a physical marker reminding me of their decision. I've come to terms with this by talking with them and reminding myself that they didn't know any better. My parents were stereotypically young and stupid, which makes it easier to accept. That doesn't mean I don't regret what they've done. I have however let go of my resentment towards them that I felt.

I get why parents will deny as well. They do not want to admit they made a big mistake. They don't want to be told they were given a life altering decision, and they chose wrong. They don't want to be told they mutilated their child. Parents want the best for their children, and being enlightened to the fact that they not only made a mistake, but went along with it can be very devastating, so they choose to deny it and get angry at those who try to talk to them.

That said I have come across people who have other reasons for their denial. I was unlucky enough to be studying forms of Feminism when I discovered that I had been altered. Some advice I hope you take to heart is to stay a healthy distance away from Feminism and topics like Women's studies/rights. While not all, many will minimize male suffering in favor of highlighting women's topics, or worse. I personally like telling people to broaden their knowledge horizons with topics like these, but they are not they best things to be reading when emotions are pulling you every which way about how you proceed in life. I've spent many days in deep depression because of it, and hopefully you can avoid that pitfall.

I can't tell you that I know your future, but I can tell you I've been down this path before and I was able to come to terms with myself. I personally believe technology will solve every problem that we humans have. I choose to believe that one day we will be able to regrow limbs and flesh that have been lost to wounds. Until then, I try to inform those who don't think about this subject and I keep watch to the progress that is made. Just last month a German court (lower level, but still) struck down circumcision as an illegal procedure that denies a child the right to his bodily integrity. This happened despite the Anti-Semitism label that was sure to follow. Even if this decision is overturned by a higher court, it has spread the idea that just maybe we shouldn't be cutting up our little boys.

Hopefully you find some solidarity with my words in the same way that I find comfort knowing that I'm not alone.



P.S. @Samantha_E

(I know you didn't mean offense, but I want to comment on something you said.)
Suggesting that parents have a right to mutilate (you might use circumcise) little boys because of religious rights is insulting. Where I live individuals have many rights, which cannot be superseded by special interest groups. Just as I cannot have my daughter mutilated (other cultures might say circumsized) because I am <I can't name a religion off the top of my head which practices this>, I shouldn't have the right to mutilate my son.

Oh, I did not mean to suggest it was right for people to do that for religion. I meant to say that it is not going to happen (at least not any time soon) that a religion's practices are taken away, even if it is harmful to a child. It is so normal that people do not see it as harmful, for many reasons. I think the only thing that can be done is to make sure people are informed, then eventually there may be enough support to do something about it.

Hi Samantha. I also agree hitting children is wrong. It simply tells the child that they are inferior and not to be considered worthy of even talking to, because they are too dumb to understand logic, they can only understand being physically harmed. Which is #######4.
I wonder how much school bullying is influenced by this?

I think informing people about it is important, and if people see all the facts and agree with you, then great. Making a website is a good idea, but it would have to be worded politely and include all the facts, including the benefits of doing it. It may seem so obvious to you, but other people have a hard time grasping it.

There are already websites against genital mutilation that are better than anything I could ever produce. Simply, all the information is out there already. I do part take in discussions on many different websites or forums daily about this issue simply out of obsession. Sadly the doctors in denial about this have submitted numerous false studies and lie to parents often. Which confuses every body.

I also think it would be a good idea to have a conversation with both of your parents. You can tell them it upsets you and calmly explain to them all the reasons why it upsets you, and what consequences it has had, and then they can explain their reasons.

I have decided i will read out some of the information to my parents regarding circumcision and give comments about it as i am.. By having something to read I won't forget anything important, and my parents should grasp a greater understanding. This is one i've found the most useful: http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision. ... ent06.html

Hi Archeopendra, it's good to see someone who understands this issue first hand of these forums. I won't say i'm glad that i'm not alone. I've never understood when people say: "you're not alone or you're not the only one". Am i supposed to take comfort in the fact that millions of other people have suffered too? . Perhaps it's my autistic way of seeing things. But i'm glad to not be the only one on this forum struggling with this specific issue.

As for the trigger warning. I have an interesting point on that... Unlike nearly all other types of abuse genital mutilation is constantly triggering due to the physical alterations. Being aware of my circumcision while sitting here - trigger. Taking a wee, oh yeah i'm mutilated - trigger. Taking a wank - "ffs this doesn't feel very good" - trigger. I mean there are dozens of situations in which I am made aware of my penis they all remind me of it.

I agree about the denial. There's still a strong culture forcing men to be masculine, and part of that will not allow them to consider them self a victim of abuse, because abuse victims are seen as weak and damaged. That's why when i've made the slightest and most subtle mention to circ being abuse, alpha males have become enraged. My parents, in contrast to yours were not that young, being 30. But equally as stupid.
This post explains denial (and ptsd) very well:

He was in a state of panic between common sense and self defense. Our fights were fierce- I was astounded at his reaction- he did not seem like himself- it was like he was a robot who was programmed with a execute circumcision command... and my putting an unplanned obstacle in that path made the whole system go berzerk.

The most upsetting scene of the whole time was my husband curled in a fetal position on the couch with a pillow crammed over his crotch crying... and still demanding that we had to do this. For me it was like watching regression therapy- I was seeing my husband relive the pain of his own circumcision... his outward body clenched in such a self defensive curl- emotionally he was begging to have a solution to this pain... and the solution that he thought he had found was to circumcise the baby... to make circumcision right. It was the only way he could convince himself that circumcision is a reasonable thing to do to babies...to men.

The man could not handle his emotions, nor accept what had happened to him. He had to abuse his own son to convince himself that what happened to him was no big deal. Luckily the mother was sane.

I get why parents will deny as well. They do not want to admit they made a big mistake. They don't want to be told they were given a life altering decision, and they chose wrong. They don't want to be told they mutilated their child. Parents want the best for their children, and being enlightened to the fact that they not only made a mistake, but went along with it can be very devastating, so they choose to deny it and get angry at those who try to talk to them.

I am very aware that when i talk to both my parents about this my mother will find a way to tone it down or justify it. The most I could get her to think is "it's not that bad, I shouldn't have done it but it's not a big deal". Because as you said, parents cannot handle it.

I do already know how extremely dumb feminists are. They take it to a crazy level and simply are simply not for equality. They want special rights. Society is oppressing them? They're not the ones suffering one of the worse acts of child abuse routinely.

Do you know about foregen? They are researching foreskin regenerative technologies but do not have much funding right now. I think I read they are starting their first trial soon though.

Ah yes I was told I was anti-semetic. It wasn't the best response but it was the one I gave:

If being against child abuse is anti-semetic do you really think that term phases me in the slightest? You're one ######6 dumb bitch.

I continuously find out more about this procedure every day. The PTSD that many cut males have as a result (though different from tradition PTSD as obviously the infant brain is quite different and hence will be effected differently.)

I read a story a few days ago I wish I could quote but i forgot where i read it. It went like this:
Parents take son to doctor for random checkup. Doctor sees the beautiful intact penis, instantly becomes jealous and decides he must destroy the boy. Parents ignorantly trust doctor. 10 hours after the surgery the boy still had not peed. They went to a different doctor to find out what was wrong. They were asked why did you do this? "The doctor told us too". This is not needed in 99% of cases said the doctor. He went on to say "your son has not peed yet because his muscle have still not relaxed from the excruciating pain of circumcision.

And another story by a mother (strange apparently I would not breastfeed either):

A mother writes, "Honestly fighting back tears, and a possible break down, right now. I was classified "unable to breastfeed" after trying very hard for months and now reading this I can clearly see this is where I went wrong, where it all went down hill. I see now that when my son was circed it damaged our bond and any success we had with breastfeeding. Why wasn't I told about this?? Why wasn't I warned by the people who have my son's and my life in their hands?? Why can't we hold these men and women of the health industry accountable for either negligently or purposefully not telling their patients that circumcision can not only cause death, sensitivity, and a million other things but ALSO could harm breastfeeding?? My mind is blown. I am very AGAINST circumcision (have been for a few years now) but that doesn't change the past. My son will be 6 in October and this is by far the biggest mistake I ever made. This is a guilty feeling mama writing these words.. and you best bet I will try my hardest to spread the word to all mothers so they understand ALLLL of the risks when their son is strapped down and cut. =''["

Baker (1996) argues that men harbor rage toward their mothers for their circumcision. She also identifies a connection between sexual violence, rape, and neonatal circumcision.47 DeMause (1996) connects perinatal circumcision trauma with increases in teenage suicide and social violence.48

This is understandable. During our evolution the father did not play a large role in child rearing. Society (or lack of) was polygamous and the major way of impregnation was via rape. It was the mothers job to protect her children.

Anxious58, to your remarks about feminism (and to all remarks about feminism on this thread) I want to let you know that I know the woman who fights against circumcision more than any circumcised man I've known. She is a fierce advocate for abolishing circumcision as one of the worst forms of child abuse and ..she is a feminist. So, not all feminists are stupid or demand special rights or downplay men's suffering and this is not the idea of feminist movement at all. No doubt, there are women who do all those things in the name of women's liberation and by doing all of it they distort the meaning of feminism. That doesn't mean that every feminist does that. Any idea gets distorted by stupid unenlightened people. Patriotism was distorted in Nazi's Germany. In the name of patriotism thousands of people were killed and tortured. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with patriotism in general. The original meaning of Christianity has been distorted throughout human history. Any idea, ideology or philosophy can be twisted and manipulated by those who want to exploit it for their selfish needs and feminism is just one of them. So, let's not go as far as demonizing every single member of a particular group just because we have met some members of that group who said or did stupid things. That being said, I'd like to go back to discussing how such traumatic experience as circumcision affects people emotionally. Let's keep this discussion consistent with the spirit of the forum which is the spirit of emotional support, not political debate. It's ok to share your negative experiences with certain ideologies or philosophies but, please, keep it civil.

WM

WM

Sorry - it's simply a case of the extremists making the rest of them look bad. Umm i'm not sure if you're familiar with the extremes that they go to?, i am only mildly aware because it's not a great interest of mine. But from what I have heard of feminist extremists, I do not like it at all.

I don't really like the term either, we should be fighting together for gender equality - the term feminist sounds like they only care about one gender.

I do like it when women speak up about circumcision. Straight males may be able to deny what other straight males are saying, but if a member of the opposite sex expresses her concern and perhaps disgust, he WILL care.

Despite the fact I am very aware of what's between my legs. I find it impossible to actually imagine what happened to me. It's weird. I mean i'm simply so repulsed and disgusted. I can't believe that my mother who was suppose to protect me would leave me with an abuser who would put me through more pain than I can actually now imagine. It's so hurtful, all she had to do was protect me.

This little one is not screaming. He is not sleeping. But he has gone into shock: a semi-comatose state that the human body slips into in order to physically survive extreme pain and trauma.

After the cutting of his genitals is complete, this little baby may sleep for many hours a day over the next several days or weeks (much more than is normal or healthy for a newborn, and similar to the deep depressive-state sleep that adults often slip into after trauma). He may experience severe 'colic' for weeks and months to come, as his body attempts to heal itself and deal with the very real pain and suffering of both a festering amputation wound, and post-traumatic stress. His cortisol levels (stress hormones) remain high. His metabolic brain functioning has changed. He may have trouble nursing or gaining weight, and he has a significantly greater risk of being deemed a 'failure to thrive' case.

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/03/he-didnt ... shock.html

That explains all the mums who say their babies look peaceful after their cut.