Confused about a lot of things.

Hi. I found this forum a little while ago and so pleased that I did. I recently realised that I had been abused as a child emotionally and physically but I have a few questions:

1) I was, as far as I can remember, never sexually abused does that mean it ultimately wasn't abuse?

2) If what was happening to me only occured once or twice a week does that also mean it wasn't abuse?

3) What about the severity of when I was being hit - it only rarely left marks?

Sorry about all the questions I'm just really confused and can't understand why I'm still affected by what happened.

Hey Amy-Anne,

Abuse comes in different forms and shapes and is in no way connected to a minimum amount of occasions or severity. If you were hurt by people, it's abuse. They are your feelings and nobody has the right to tell you how you should feel. It's the perpetrator's voice that indoctrined you.

You write that if it only happened once or twice a week, is it abuse? Once or twice is very often. If you were abused only once in your life, it's still abuse.

Being hit is also emotional abuse. Not only do you feel confused to be hit by people who tell you that they love you, you're also being taught that violence is the way to solve problems. And it's this confusion that blurs the difference between hatred and love. And it often results in self-hatred.

I hope you will learn to trust your feelings and that you will express yourself freely about the truth. No child deserves to be hit but to be told to stay quiet about it is even worse.

Take care,
Dennis