Where do I start

I found this forum as I am trying to find out more about my husband.
I dont really know where to begin but I shall try best I can.
I found my husband had lots of porn bookmarks on his computer, I didnt think that much of it as all guys look at porn , I think. At the time I also notice he had bookmarked incest stories, again I didnt think much of it but then I didnt read it so didnt really know what incest stories where about. Last Friday I went on his computer and noticed he had been looking at one of these stories the night before. This time I read it and was horrified, the story was basically about a man having sex with his 14 year old step-daughter. My heart sunk like a stone, especially as I have a daughter from a previous marraige who is 8 at the moment. I went on a mission to find if he had any child porn pics or anything of that nature. I didnt find anything, lots of pics of women but nothing else untoward. I struggled with it all weekend without saying anything until I could sort out my own feeling first.
I came to the conclusion it was just a bad story that he had just happened upon and that he would never harm the children.
Obviously I had to ask him about it though. Before I had the chance, he told me he didnt love me and had been thinking about leaving. I thought that solved the problem and told him fine go ahead and leave. He went to his parents and came back later the same day saying he had made a mistake.
I confronted him about what I had found and he said that he and his sister had experimented sexually as children and so the incest stories still turned him on. He later told me the psychiatrist his sister saw told her it was sexual abuse and that my husband was to blame for her self harming. We talked about a lot of things and I told him about my own childhood abuse, so he could understand why the things he was reading hurt me so much. He told me he has been depressed for years and has always felt different from other people. He say he knows he loves the children, myself and his family but he doesnt feel anything inside.
I was thinking this was depression causing these problems but after reading these forums I am wordering if he is a sociopath and if so is there anything I can do about it? He has gone just now but I know I am going to be under pressure to take him back and in my heart I want to, but I will not put my childrens lives at risk.
Sorry I realise I should probably introduce myself properly but it was just such a relief to find somewhere to let all this out I will do that in another post.

Scotgirl, this is a very dangerous situation for your daughter to be in. You are right to be concerned for her safety. She should be your first priority. Perhaps you and your husband could be separated for a while until you decide on the right solution. He definitely needs some professional help to deal with the incest issues which may or may not help him. This could be a condition your reuniting under the same roof. Until/unless his issues are resolved, your daughter is in grave danger of him sexually molesting her. You might also need help in resolving your issues of abuse. I am recommending to anyone with relationship issues to read a book called "Safe People" by Cloud and Townsend. It is a simple book to read that has a profound message for help with relationships of all kinds. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you for replying, this whole situation is so worrying.
We have already seperated I told him to go yesterday morning. The problem is I know I love him and I guess I was hoping someone would say I am over reacting. I'm so confused about a lot of things just now (you might notice I have suddenly posted everywhere) I have been through so many traumas in my own life and this is just the latest one. I guess I'm not sure I trust my own judgement anymore.
I feel so torn, if he is suffering from a metal illness surely as his wife I should be helping him? He stayed through my PND and gave me support then, I love him and want to help him if I can but not at my daughters risk. He is going to the doctors tomorrow to try and get help, I suppose thats a good thing. There are a few other little things he said that in retrospect are a little strange too and would point in the same direction unfortunately. I think I need to do more research.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I have had such a rollercoaster of emotions flooding over me all week and its a relief to find somewhere I can talk about it at last.

scotgirl, you are not overreacting. This is a serious situation that needs a good resolution. I, too, have just recently found this forum and think it's a great sounding board for those who need help and don't know how to initiate the process of getting it. Please give this situation the time and help it needs to resolve itself. You can support and love your husband from a distance while you both get the attention you need separately for your incest issues. Then you will have a more objective view of what needs to happen in the future for the two of you and your child/children. (I was not clear if you had one or two children)

It's not a given that he would molest based on what you have presented....but I would certainly have great concerns being that he was molested and admits that stories of incest turn him on. I would need to know if it's that stories of sex in such manners turn him on sexually to where he wants to act out sexually w/ his wife...or any adult...or if it makes him want to act out against children. Even if his answer is simply that due to what he went through as a child...he now is turned on sexually to another adult via such methods....that would be concerning enough in itself...not that he is too going to molest as an adult but just what turns him on sexually. I guess you have lots to sort out. Are you overreacting? No. I think you are putting your children at the forefront and that's best You can give counseling a try...you have taken the first step ...remove him from the environment....now you can work on the issues...they are out in the light.....you know what you are facing...now you can decide if infact you want to face it and give working through things a chance or if you feel this is not what you can or want to try and handle and you simply want to leave.

I was molested by my older brother as a child. I don't hate him for it...but I would never allow him to be alone w/ my daughters' either. I guess....trust your instincts.

I think I need to talk to his sister too. I dont know how I would approach it but I need to know if it was innocent childhood curiousity in a very restrictive enviroment (they lived on an island, their parents are both ministers) or if he was forcing something on her she did not want. Either way it has devestating effects on them both. They were being bullied at the same time too and I think that has a lot to do with it. I know I couldnt live with the knowledge he delibratly hurt her.
Then there is this other issue with the incest story involving a minor, I couldn't tolerate the thought of my husband being turned on by children. I dont have any evidence that he does, could it be incidental that this story had a child involved or do they all?
So I guess it boils down to if he hurt his sister and gets turned on by kids I will still help him but there is no chance for a recconcilliation.
If he just had fumblings with his sister and the story just happened to be particulary horrible then everything is going to be ok.
Hmm, I dont really hold much hope for us when I see it like that.
I suppose I could find out, he is at his parents and his comp is still here I could go and dig a bit more. This whole thing is so horrible.

well for what it's worth...I really think you are taking the right steps in how to handle this. It's a very tough situation to find yourself in. I think you are doing the right thing...you are asking him to remove himself from your living situation but you are not just screaming and yelling and saying...get out get out we're done! W/ our society...you just never know and w/ what you have come upon....who wants to take chances w/ our children that this is nothing rather then something? I wouldn't spread the word through friends and family just yet. Just tell them you are going through a very rought time and you felt a seperation w/ some counseling right now was best. You don't have to get into things w/ others right now! If you find out your initial instincts and concerns are wrong...he doesn't need to have this on the minds of friends and neighbors making into something you found out it's really not! does that make sense?!! I think it's well that you are taking things slow...trying to gather facts...and work together in counseling.

Feel free to chat here as often as you want or need. I'm sure there are lots out here who can offer you their take or advice, support, etc.