did i overreact? or do i have the right?

I’ve been abused in everyway, but im not sure this is considered abuse but I wanted to get it out.. Its hurtful and a huge setback to accepting and trying to get over your past.. when someone belittles or undermine your feeling especially when its said with a smile, when I was maybe 14 a girl spread some lies about me, made fun of me, told me that `if your family didn’t know how to raise you I’ll raise you well` although shes same as my age and she is a cousin, no one believed me and I got punished, shamed and alienated for a whole summer and for a few months when I got back,.. it hurt cause I felt if I was biologically their daughter they would atleast given me the benefit of the doubt, which I never got growing up my family always believed im the source of trouble and evil, until I started rebelling and I think this just proved them right, I suffered in silence when I was young, my adoptive parents died then I found out that I was adopted, then it was an eye opening moment for me and I started to understand and compare myself with the other adoptees in out society I was treated in someway the same how did I miss that, I always wondered why no matter how much my cousin gets I always get half,.. the others did too but I never saw it until I was told,.. im loved, and I taught myself not to care about material things, but I hate it when she tells me don’t compare what will happen with your past experience, well I have the right,dont i?

Heya,

You have the right to still be eyeing up past experiences, but you have also have the choice not to do it. Sometimes, people prefer to forget bad events in the past and to instead focus on the future. Past events that linger on our minds can affect how we interact with others in the present. If your past was terrible and filled with abuse of different types, then the way you interact with people in the present might be 'aloof' or different from what is normal.

So, do you feel that it is a struggle to get your point across to people? Do you feel that your 'articulation' is not right? By articulation, i mean body language when you communicate with people, but it also includes tone of voice. I say all of this because even by reading your post I felt that you were struggling to get your exact point across.

That's all that I have to say for now.

Take care my friend
Kevin

I do I’m sorry if i made it difficult for you to read, I’m usually better at explaining and expressing how I feel by writing, I tried to organize my thoughts several times I just get anxious and scared I’m not sure why, and everything starts to get unclear even when I read my post.. so I don’t blame who has to hear me like I used I can see the question mark on their faces then they start to get irritated.

Now I try to talk less, somepeople are good talkers and some are good listeners I think im a good listener Im going to stick with that

That's okay - don't worry about it. I always thuoght that I was better at listening than talking, which is true, but I still have tried to improve my communications skills. i'm sure that if you improved yours it would be beneficial to your life overall.

Kevin

i think the benefit is in simply talking, more than what we say or how we say it .

talking about it brings it out of the dark place that these things hide and is a huge step to understanding that it's not our fault.and it's not .you know