My Friend

Ok, so above and beyond my own problems, I discovered this evening that my friend is being abused by her dad. I suspected it before. He emotionally abuses her, calling her worthless, a piece of $#%^, pathetic, useless etc. He threatened her with a knife today, he has hit her in the past and thrown things at her. She has attempted suicide, and feels crap about herself.

I don't know what to do. I am completely out of my depth, and acutely aware that this isn't something I can cope with given my own fragile mental state. I know I need to tell somebody, but I don't want to lose her friendship at the same time by doing it. I don't know what's right or what the hell I do, and this has happened to me before and I dealt with it so badly and it destroyed months of my life. I need help. Please. Thank you. Lex.

Hey there Lex
I'm sorry hear about your friend and your personal problems. Why are you worried about losing your friendship? If your friend's being abused, you should tell someone as soon as you can.
You should call the police or call a helpline and explain the situation. They'll understand once you explain everything you know to them.
Hope this helps.
DJM19

She doesn't want to tell anyone cos she doesn't want to upset her mother. I have written evidence from her now, off an IM conversation, detailing abuse from her dad, but I can't tell anyone. She is insistent that any interference will really damage her mum. Lex.

I'm sorry to hear that. Is her mum living with her dad? I can't help but say that doing nothing would be far worse for your friend because there's no telling how far this abuse will affect her. You should tell someone as least, even someone you trust.

Yeah, they're living together. I spoke to my parents (because I'm cool like that) and to a teacher at school, without mentioning names. I've spoken to my friend, and am trying to coax her into talking to somebody as soon as. Thank you for your help Lex

That's great to hear. Just take everything one step at a time, suggest options for your friend and keep helping your friend when you can. I hope your friend gets through this, you're a caring person as this post shows.
I'm happy to help, Lex. If there are still problems or you need to talk, just come back to the forums or PM me.
Keep in touch. Thinking of you and your friend.
DJM19

It's a hard situation to be in. I hope your friend will talk to someone. Its good that you are talking about it - this is such a huge thing for you and your friend to deal with alone.

Sometimes you have to weigh up the risks of her being abused with the risks of reporting. I don't know what your friend's mother is like and what damage will be done to her if you do report her father. I also don't know how likely her father is to dangerously hurt her if he's not reported. I really don't envy your position. Just keep in mind that, even though it'd hurt you so much, her safety is more important then a friendship. Believe me, I know how hard it is to do that.